


Roommates Before Lovers

by SatyrSyd37



Series: Bus Ride Universe [2]
Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga), No. 6 - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Blood and Violence, But also, Childhood Memories, Dogs, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Musical References, Musicals, Past Child Abuse, Roommates, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-03-04 21:17:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 72,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3090242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatyrSyd37/pseuds/SatyrSyd37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shion needs a place to stay while attending university, and who better to room with than Nezumi, the kid he remembers from that bus ride all those years ago? But things in their apartment don't go as smoothly as expected, because both are hiding secrets about their past from each other, causing things in the present to get...complicated.</p><p>A modern AU with a large plate of angst and a generous helping of fluff, featuring Nezumi's addiction to musicals and Inukashi's smelly dogs.</p><p>(Continuation of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/3013235">Bus Ride</a>)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shion

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to Bus Ride, (actually, that's more of a prequel to this...) and although you probably don't _need_ to read it before you read this, I highly suggest it (don't worry, it's pretty short).
> 
> I know the No. 6 fandom isn't that big, but I appreciate all of you who read this and I'd LOVE feedback of any kind!
> 
> None of these characters belong to me, etc., etc.
> 
> Feel free to hit me up on [tumblr](http://satyr-syd.tumblr.com)

Shion stared at the phone in his hands. Its screen was dark, and he could make out all the dirty fingerprints from years of use. His thumb grazed over the surface, blurring out the sharp lines of dirt.

Shion sighed. He glanced at the bright green flyer sitting next to him. There was a number on it Shion was desperate to dial, but he couldn’t even bring himself to turn on his phone. 

_Bzzz._

Shion jumped. The dark screen was now lit.

**1 New Message.**

Shion knew who it would be from, so he hesitated to open it. But, since he did know who it was, it was probably safer to open it rather than ignore it, whatever it said.

 **From Safu:** _Did you call about the apartment yet?_  

Of course Safu was pestering him about the apartment. She was like his second mom, even though his real mom pestered him more than enough. But his biological mom was away at the moment, so Safu was her temporary replacement.

 **To Safu:** _No, not yet._

His phone buzzed barely a second after he hit send.

 **From Safu:** _And why not?_

Shion groaned. Although he was anxious to make the call, he knew Safu wouldn’t get off his case until he did.

 **To Safu:** _Give me a minute. I’ll do it now._

Shion stared at the screen another minute before pulling up the dialing pad. He glanced at the paper and punched in the number.

His thumb hovered over the ‘call’ button. Should he really be doing this? There were so many other options for residence – though none quite as desirable – and Shion knew finding a place to live while attending university shouldn’t be this stressful. Safu didn’t even know the full extent of Shion’s worries over this call…

 _And why not?_ Shion could hear Safu’s voice echo in his head.

He hit ‘call’ and jerked the phone up to his ear before he could stop to think it through.  

_Rrrriiiinnnnggggg. Rrrriiiinnnnggggg. Rrrriiiinnnnggggg._

“Who's this?”

Shion took a deep breath. If this really was the same guy, Shion couldn’t have expected a warm welcome.

“Hi, is this Nezumi? My name is Shion. I called about sharing an apartment?”

The line was silent for a moment. Was he too direct? Was it not Nezumi? Did Nezumi remember him…?

“Oh shit, did I forget to take those flyers down?”

“Er…what?”

“Where did you find out about the offer?”

“Um…there’s a café in downtown L.A.…” Nezumi had forgotten to take the flyer down…that probably meant he wasn’t looking for a roommate anymore. Had he already found someone to room with? Shion wouldn’t have been surprised; that flyer looked like it had been there awhile. _It was a long shot, anyways._ “I’m sorry. Did you already find someone to room with?”

Shion could hear a long, drawn out sigh from the other end of the line, crackled from the bad connection. “No, actually…what did you say your name was?”

“S-Shion – "

“And Shion, how do you suppose to pay for rent?”

Shion let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. Maybe there was still hope – maybe Nezumi’s current roommate was really bad, and he was looking for a new one anyways. “My mother is loaning me money – "

“Do you live in L.A. already?”

“No, I’m in West Block right now – "

“Ah, I’m sorry, I’m from there too. No wonder you want to get out. Why L.A.?”

“I’m going to university and I need a place to stay – "

“Well why the hell would you want to room with me?”

 _Because even if you don’t remember me, I remember you. And there’s something_   _about you that intrigues me…_

“…because you’re within my price range. And you’re close enough to the university.”

“Okay, Shion, sounds like we have a deal. When would you like to move in?”

 _What?! He would let me move in with him that easily?_ That didn’t sound like the Nezumi he remembered. “What – ! I mean, I haven’t even looked at the place, and – " Shion cringed, “ – you don’t even know me – "

“Then you can come around one tomorrow. I’m not busy. You can check out the place, and I can check you out – "

Shion blushed at Nezumi’s choice of words.

“ – and we can work things out then. Sound good?”

“Um, yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess?”

“See you tomorrow. And just ignore the first floor resident. They’re a dick. Just tell them you want to head up to the second floor, and they should leave you alone. Bye.”

“Bye – "

Shion lowered his phone away from his ear when Nezumi hung up, and put it back in his pocket.

It sure sounded like the same Nezumi he had met on the bus all those years ago…the same one he hadn’t talked to since that bus ride. Shion had seen him passing through the hallways at West Block Middle School, but they had never made conversation. And Shion didn’t see him at all in high school, and could only assume Nezumi went to a different one. 

But Shion hadn’t forgotten Nezumi. He was the first one – maybe even the only one – that Shion had felt a real connection with in West Block. He felt his cheeks burn when he remember how he had asked Nezumi about being life-long friends, and covered his face with his hands even though he was the only one around. He was so ignorant then – to think that he could have actually made a friend in one bus ride…it was ridiculous. West Block had hardened him enough since then for him to realize how ridiculous that notion was.

Yet every time he recalled the event, he remembered a certain attraction he had felt towards the other boy. Something about his mysterious persona that wasn’t mysterious at all, something about his charm, and something about his honesty. Something about how Nezumi had walked away before Shion could thank him for saving him. Something about how he had never talked with Nezumi since. All these things about Nezumi intrigued him, and had kept Nezumi in the back of Shion’s mind for years.

He hadn’t forgotten about Nezumi, not even now that he had graduated high school and was going off to college. So, naturally, when he saw the flyer at the coffee shop for someone named Nezumi requesting a roommate, Shion couldn’t help but indulge his curiosity. Though, admittedly, it took a lot more guts than Shion originally thought. It seemed like fate was on his side, though, since Nezumi’s apartment was only a couple of blocks away from the university Shion was attending.

He couldn’t be positive, but Shion had a feeling that no matter how crappy Nezumi’s apartment was, or how dick-like his neighbors were, he would move in with Nezumi.

Shion felt his pocket buzz. He pulled out his phone –

 **1 New Message**  

 **From Safu:** _When are you moving out?_

Shion smiled, and went to get his suitcase.

 **To Safu:** _Probably tomorrow._

He had a lot of packing to do if things went the way he expected them to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Edited 8/21/15 ___


	2. Nezumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya! I like writing from Nezumi's POV a lot.
> 
> FYI: This is going to switch off between Shion and Nezumi's POVs every chapter. (In case you didn't figure that out)

Nezumi put the phone down. _Shit._

He thought he had taken down all those fucking flyers. Nezumi remember that day from months ago clearly in his mind, taking hours upon hours to take those flyers down from the light posts and bars and coffee shops and libraries and all the other places he had put them up, and the relief he felt from finally being able to do so.

Nezumi had never wanted a roommate, but when his landlord had threatened to kick him out, he had had no choice. But that was months ago, when he was struggling to pay for two meals a day. His current job, though not his preferred profession, made him a comfortable amount of money to live with. It was better than living on the funds of his nonexistent career as an actor without a day of acting classes to his name. He had been too hopeful as an adolescent, he knew that now, and he was happy enough in his new job. It paid the bills. That was enough.

So he didn’t need a roommate – that was why he had taken pleasure in ripping down all those posters. But…

_“…is this Nezumi? My name is Shion. I called about sharing an apartment.”_

It was the first time Nezumi had heard that name in years. It was the kid from the field trip, the one who sat with him on the ride home, with the white hair and the red scar, the one who he listened to _The Sound of Music_ with. The one truly nice person in West Block.

The one who he had never spoken to again.

Hearing that name threw off Nezumi’s normally composed character, because even though he didn’t want a roommate – he didn’t _need_ a roommate – he did want to see Shion again. And that’s what surprised him the most.

Why did he let himself say those things? Inviting Shion – who he’d only talked to _once_ – to _live_ with him. There was something about Shion that threw Nezumi for a loop. He had noticed it the first time they had met, too. Shion had gotten him to open up, if only a little, in the span of a few hours. Shion made him feel vulnerable in a way no one else had before.

So that was why Nezumi remembered him. Not one other person in the past four years had made him feel vulnerable. He was glad for that, of course, because to be vulnerable in West Block was to give up living a half-decent life. Vulnerability only caused suffering; Nezumi knew that from experience.

But of course, the odds that Shion remembered him were slim. Surely he wouldn’t have called him had he actually remembered Nezumi? After all, he had been kind of a dick to Shion that day. And if that wasn’t enough, it had been _years_ since they had last seen each other. And they had only seen each other _once_ , really.

It was impossible that Shion remembered him.

 _Nezumi, you idiot…_ but of course, that hadn't stopped Nezumi from asking Shion to _live_ with him.

Nezumi supposed he’d just have to figure this thing out as it went. Tomorrow, he’d get things under control. Shion probably wouldn’t like his apartment anyways…

Nezumi looked around the room. It wasn’t incredibly messy, but it wasn’t perfect, either. A couple of stacks of DVDs of musicals were knocked down, and there was a thin layer of dust on the whole place…and Nezumi would have to get his closet sorted out.

It was highly unlikely that Shion would actually accept his offer. Nevertheless, Nezumi spent the entire rest of the day cleaning up the little apartment.

* * *

 

**Tap tap tap.**

_Shit, he’s here_. Nezumi threw himself off the couch and rushed to the door.

**Tap tap t –**

The door swung open to reveal Shion mid-knock.

“Um, hi,” Shion said.

He looked almost exactly as he had four years ago. His eyes were wide and brown, with that hint of red, and his hair – Nezumi smiled – was still snow white. There was that red mark on his face, though now it didn’t look quite as sharp. The only big change, Nezumi was pleased to realize, was that Shion was the slightest bit shorter than himself. Shion was actually…kind of hot, he realized with satisfaction.

“Hey,” Nezumi purred. Shion blushed, and Nezumi smirked. _Sensitive as ever._ “Come on in.”

He held the door open for the man and with the sweep of his hand, gestured into the apartment. Shion looked at Nezumi, and then down at his feet, and walked inside.

Nezumi was proud of his apartment. It was located on a street that wasn’t too busy, but it wasn’t so far away from the hustle and bustle that it was difficult to go anywhere. It was on the second floor, so it wasn’t too much of a walk. Nezumi wouldn’t call it spacious either, but it was just the right size for a one-man show. With the addition of another resident, you could even call it cozy. Though, the whole place did kind of stink of wet dog.

“This is the living room,” Nezumi began, watching Shion as he took in the scenery. There was an old, somewhat ratty red couch pushed up against the wall, with a long, dark wooded coffee table in front of it. Papers and pens and glasses were lightly scattered across the scratched surface. Thanks to Nezumi's last minute cleaning, the brown carpeted floor was pretty barren, with a few visible stains. A lone plant - fake, of course - sat in the corner of the room. A small TV sat in the corner on a little side table. Tall bookshelves lined the walls, filled with old books, new books, big books, small books, plays, DVDs, CDs, and even records all neatly lined up.

“Oh, what books do you have?” Shion bounded over to the bookshelf and started touching their spines.

“Hey!” Nezumi snapped. “Don’t touch those!”

Shion turned around with a startled look on his face, “Oh…sorry.”

Nezumi sighed. Now he had made Shion sad. But those bookshelves contained his life's greatest achievement, his collections of books and musicals. Their value was worth more than most people's lives to Nezumi. Shion still looked guilty though, with his head hanging like a dog that just got scolded. Shion wouldn't do anything to his collection, right...? “Never mind, it’s fine – just…just be careful with them.”

Shion smiled at him. “Don’t worry. I will.”

 _Oh god._ What had he gotten himself into? He hardly knew this kid, and now he was invading his home! Nezumi sincerely hoped Shion wasn’t one of those people who dog-eared pages. Those people were the dirt of mankind.

“Shion,” he said. Shion turned around - just like an obedient dog, again. “Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the place. You can look at books later.” _If you decide to stay…_

Shion nodded and followed Nezumi as he showed him the singular bathroom, the little kitchen, and the bedroom.

“There’s only one bedroom, but there are two beds, so we wouldn’t have to sleep together. ” Nezumi glanced over to Shion, and sure enough, his face was tinged pink. “Would you mind sharing a room?”

“What? No, not at all,” Shion stammered. Nezumi smirked. If nothing else, it would be an amusement to have Shion here. The kid was as sensitive as a newborn pup, and it was Nezumi's favorite pastime to prey off the embarrassed reactions of weaklings like him.

They walked back into the kitchen and took seats on the two stools next to the counter that overlooked the living room. The kitchen was pretty cramped, so Nezumi didn't have a proper table. It wasn't like he needed one anyway - he never had any guests.

“So, what do you think?” he asked.

Shion gripped the edges of the stool and swung his legs back and forth. As he thought about his response, he bit his lip and chewed it, and Nezumi’s eyes couldn’t help but be drawn to it.

“I’d like to live here, if you’ll have me.”

Nezumi snapped up. “Eh?”

“I said I’d like to live here. If you’ll have me, of course.” Shion stared at him with wide eyes. The glint of red was there again, and it made Nezumi feel warm.

 _This is your last chance,_ he thought. _This is the last fucking chance you’ll have to back out of this insane deal. You don’t need a fucking roommate. Just tell him that._

Nezumi looked at Shion again. “Okay,” he said. “If you’re sure you’re worthy of rooming with me, you’re welcome here.”

_What? That’s not what you were suppose to say, dipshit!_

Shion laughed. “I’m not sure if I’m ‘worthy to room with you’, but it sounds like a deal.” He smiled at Nezumi, and it took all of Nezumi’s willpower not to smile back.

“Yeah, whatever…when do you think you’ll move in, anyways?” Since it was the start of the summer, and Shion was here for college, Nezumi expected him to be at least a month. That would give him enough time to prepare…right?

“Whenever you’ll have me. I have all my stuff packed already,” Shion replied with a faint little smile on his face.

“You…what? You already have all your stuff packed?” _Of course._ Of course Shion would make this harder than it had to be. “Did you know you were going to move in or something?” he teased.

Shion looked away. _He’s probably blushing again…_ “I had my suspicions. Plus I want to get the hell out of West Block.”

“Ha,” Nezumi scoffed. It was funny to hear Shion cuss. “I can’t blame you there, ‘course. West Block is a shithole.”

“No kidding.”

A silence settled in the room. Should he invite Shion to bring his stuff in? Should he ask him to wait another month before moving in with him? Maybe just another week. But the kid already had his stuff…

“Do you…do you mind if move in now?” Shion looked at him pleadingly, with those big brown eyes and that cute little scar –

“Alright. Fine. Bring your stuff up." That was it. Nezumi had apparently lost all his willpower. He was too weak to that kid's gorgeous white hair and eyes and smile...

His stomach rumbled. "I can make us some food. It’s almost dinnertime, isn’t it? Did you already eat?”

Shion shook his head.

Nezumi took a quick stock of his food, and had a stroke of genius. He snapped his fingers and said, “I should make my famous Macbeth soup.”

“Macbeth soup?”

Nezumi smirked. “Eyeball of newt, frog fingers and batwings, all boiled together in a pot?”

Shion tried – and failed – to hide his cringe. “Um…”

Nezumi laughed. Only someone as dumb as Shion would actually believe him. “Ha! It’s not actually that. I’m not a witch, though my neighbors liken me to one.”

“Oh, speaking of your neighbor…” _Oh shit, shouldn’t have brought them up!_ “What’s with all the dogs?”

Nezumi sighed, and ran a hand over his face. If there was one thing he hated about this place, it was the neighbors. “It’s a shelter. My downstairs neighbor, Inukashi, is obsessed with them. Trust me, there’s something very wrong with them…but yeah, that’s the one drawback of this place. It always smells like wet dog.”

“Oh,” Shion looked a little perturbed by that.

“You still in? Even if you’ll smell like dog all the time?” _Maybe this will get him to go away._

But Shion just smiled. “It’ll take a little more than that to get me to leave.” _Nope. Guess not._  

And with that Shion jumped off the stool and made for the door. “I’m going to get my things. Can I put them in your room?”

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll get started on the food.”

Shion gave him one final smile before heading out the door, and Nezumi refused to believe he felt his heart flutter.

_I’m in such deep shit._

* * *

Nezumi placed a bowl of soup in front of Shion, and watched him stare down the tendrils of heat floating up from the deep orange liquid.

Shion bent closer and took a sniff. Nezumi rolled his eyes. _Weirdo…_

“…It smells pretty good, actually,” Shion said, unable to hide the tone of surprise in his voice.

“That’s because it _is_ really good. Just try it, dumbass,” Nezumi grunted.

Shion laughed and took a spoonful of the soup. Nezumi sat down next to him and watched as Shion blew on the soup, spending ripples throughout the liquid, and then as Shion tentatively took a sip.

Nezumi had complete confidence in his soup. No one, not even his other neighbor, Rikiga, who hated almost everything to do with Nezumi, had ever called his Macbeth soup anything less than a delicacy. But that didn’t make him any less anxious for Shion’s response.

“Well?” he demanded.

Shion had a contemplative look on his face, and tapped his finger on his chin, his lips curled into a slight frown and his eyes narrowed in concentration. “Hmmm _…” This idiot is going to drag this out as long as he can, isn’t he?_ “It’s...good.”

Nezumi felt his stomach twist into a knot. “Good!? What do you mean just _good_?”

Shion cracked a smile. “I’m just kidding. I really like it Nezumi, it’s excellent.”

That idiot. “You bet it is.” Nezumi almost sighed in relief, and went to get himself a bowl.

They ate the rest of the meal in a relatively comfortable silence. Nezumi was sure it would have been more comfortable if there wasn’t a slight tension between them, ironically caused by the familiarity between them.  _I know you,_ Nezumi couldn’t help but think. _I remember you - but you don’t remember me…_

After the meal Shion kindly offered to clean up. _No surprise there,_ thought Nezumi, but he let the other boy do the dishes, because the kid offered, right? Nezumi wasn’t going to pass up a chance to avoid chores.

Nezumi glanced at the unopened mail on his table. It looked like several of them were bills. “Hey Shion, after you’re done in there, want to work out the finances?” Nezumi called.

“Yeah, sure!”

Nezumi rummaged through the multitude of documents concerning his apartment, and thought about the best way to work this out. He’d have to pretend he couldn’t afford rent, of course…but had he said how much he wanted on that flyer? Or didn’t he specify at all? What was a reasonable price to ask for? Nezumi clapped his hands to his face and let out a loud sigh. He hoped this wouldn’t be as aggravating as it seemed it would be.

It actually didn’t turn out to be that bad. Shion breezed through most of the calculations and zoomed over the trivial matters. He may have seemed like an idiot, but Nezumi quickly realized the kid was a bit of a genius. He remember back to that day on the bus, when he had misjudged Shion too quickly the first time…

“…job do you have? Nezumi?” Shion was looking at him with wide eyes.

He must have spaced out. “What?”

“I asked what your job is.”

 _Shit._ Should he tell Shion? No, not yet - there was no way that would turn out right.

“That’s none of your fucking business,” he snapped. He glared at Shion with a cold glint in his eye, hoping to force him off the topic.

“Sorry. I was just wondering – “

“All that matters is I have a job, okay?” _Don’t you want him out, Nezumi? Maybe if he knew what you did, he’d leave._

But Nezumi didn’t really want Shion to leave.

And he had already moved all his stuff in, and they had just worked out money issues. Besides, Shion needed a place to stay while attending university. 

Shion looked down at the papers, looking yet again like a sad puppy.  _Crap._ Nezumi felt bad for making Shion feel bad, but he wasn’t about to apologize. Nezumi wasn’t one to apologize for just anything.

“It’s getting late,” Nezumi said, breaking off the awkward silence. “I’m going to bed.”

He stood up and walked toward his – their – bedroom.

“Wait!”

Nezumi turned around.

“There’s just one more thing…it’s kind of embarrassing…”

“What is it? Do you have explosive diarrhea? Are you a virgin? Do you have a foot fetish you think I should know about?”

Shion’s face turned red, almost hiding the scar across his cheek. “No! It’s just – well…”

“Spit it out. I want to sleep.”

“CanIhaveyournumbersomymomcancontactyoushe’sreallynervousformetobeonmyownandwantstomakesureyou’renotaserialkiller.”

Nezumi paused and tried to dissect Shion’s sentence in his head. “…what?”

Shion blushed deeper. He took a deep breath, and said, “My mom wants your number. That was one of the conditions of her letting me move out. She want to make sure that someone is…someone is... watching over me, I guess.”

“Oh.”

Great. Not only was Shion going to live with him, but apparently he was also going to be his pseudo-father. And best friends with his mom. Fantastic. Superb. Nezumi always wanted to be friends with middle-aged woman.

 “Fine.” It didn’t look like he had much of a choice in the matter. “What’s her number? I can text her right now.” Nezumi pulled out his phone.

Shion beamed at him. _Idiot._ “Here, I can enter it in for you…”

Shion pulled his phone away, entered the number and returned it promptly. “I’m going to get ready for bed, then.”

Nezumi looked down at the phone. A new contact was saved under the name ‘Karan’.

 **To Karan:** _Your son is rooming with me. He already moved all his stuff in. And I’m not a serial killer. – Nezumi_

Nezumi shoved the phone in his pocket, followed Shion and got ready for bed. He had just finished brushing his teeth when his phone buzzed on the countertop.

**1 New Message**

**From Karan:** _Thank you for letting me know, Nezumi. I hope Shion isn’t too much trouble, but if there’s anything wrong, please let me know!_

Typical moms.

His phone buzzed again before he could even put it back down.

 **From Karan:** _AND DON’T TRY ANYTHING FUNNY WITH HIM, YOUNG MAN, OR YOU WILL HAVE ME TO ANSWER TO AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO TRACK YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU IN COLD BLOOD._

Well that was a new development. Nezumi swallowed. Who knew middle-aged women were so violent.

 **To Karan:** _No need to worry, miss. I have no plans to harm your son in any way._

That was enough of her for one night. Shion was already in the bed across the room that may or may not have actually been a futon, reading a book Nezumi had let him pick out from his shelves.

“I’m going to get the lights,” Nezumi said.

Shion picked up a flashlight from his side and smiled at Nezumi. “Thanks for having me here, Nezumi. I’m looking forward to living with you.”

Oh jeez, not this niceness again. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Nezumi turned off the lights, his last clear vision of Shion’s warm smile.

 

* * *

 

“N-no…NO!”

Nezumi snapped his eyes open and sprung out of bed. Was there a burglar? It wouldn’t be the first time. Nezumi grabbed his knife from the drawer on his bedside table.

“Please…no…DON’T!” Nezumi’s gaze fell on Shion’s bed. He could barely make it out in the dark, but Nezumi saw Shion twisting and turning in his bed. _Had that been him?_

“NO!...not her not her…”

It was. Shion was screaming from some nightmare. And it seemed pretty serious.

Shion sobbed into his pillow. “Please… _please_ …” 

Nezumi didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to wake him up, because then Shion would know Nezumi had heard him. He didn’t want to leave him to suffer the dream, but…

Nezumi’s hand subconsciously touched the scars on his back.

A pain bloomed deep in his gut, like a mold on old bread, causing him to loose his breath. Nezumi felt cold sweat drip down his back.

He had had his fair share of nightmares too, and he wouldn’t want someone else to know about them.

Besides, it was probably a one-time thing.

So Nezumi felt around the floor for a blanket, and when he found it, he draped it over Shion’s shaking form.

“Don’t…please stop…”

Nezumi wrapped it around Shion, tucking the ends under his light body. He seemed to relax a little.

Nezumi went back to bed. He would wait out Shion’s nightmare and then go to sleep. And then he would wake up tomorrow like it never even happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I don't know when the next chapter will be up; finals are coming up and such...but I'll try to be as prompt as possible!


	3. Shion

When Shion woke up, he could feel the sheets tangled beneath him, constricting his legs and binding his arms underneath him uncomfortably. They were damp, too, and Shion could feel strands of hair sticking to his forehead and the back of his neck. He must have had another nightmare last night…hopefully Nezumi hadn’t noticed.

He cracked his eyes open, momentarily blinded by the sunlight streaming through the room from a single little window, and turned towards Nezumi’s bed. It was empty, though the bed wasn’t made. Shion could hear the water running in the bathroom.

It almost didn’t feel real being here. Even though he had woken up, Shion still felt like he was in a dream, like all of last night was a dream, and that he would wake up any moment back in West Block.

But here he was – in Nezumi’s room, laying on a rather uncomfortable mattress with blankets Nezumi had given him, looking at the walls plastered with peeling posters of musicals, the bare charcoal-carpet floor, the leaning lamp next to Nezumi’s bedside table, piled high with scripts and a laptop off to the side, Nezumi’s bed, directly across from him, and the door to the bathroom, slightly cracked open just enough to see a sliver of yellow light, so Shion could hear the water running and the sounds of an electric toothbrush.

Yes, here he was. There was no doubting it. His new home. Shion had lived in exactly two houses before, and never without his mother. He hadn’t stayed in many hotel rooms, (barring that one instance), and the only friend’s house he had ever slept over at was Safu’s, and that was when they were small. Shion had been afraid last night that he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep in a room he had never seen before with a man he hardly knew. But when Shion had gone to bed, pulled the (slightly scratchy) blankets over himself and heard the soft sounds of Nezumi breathing, he couldn’t help but feel…safe. That was something he couldn’t say that about many places. And it wasn’t just that room – the whole apartment had felt that way to him. Stepping inside was like stepping into a warm hug, safe and relaxing and right.

Shion untangled himself from his sheets. He could only hope that Nezumi hadn’t heard him in the night – he might still choose to kick him out. Nezumi hadn’t seemed too enthusiastic about letting Shion move in. He hadn’t seemed too enthusiastic in general. And when he had opened the door, at the very beginning of the evening, he hadn’t reacted at all. _Of course he doesn’t remember you,_ Shion thought to himself. _You knew that already._

But the rest of the evening Shion had been anxious. He didn’t know what he was waiting for Nezumi to say…”Hey wait – I remember you!” or maybe some sly comment like “I see you haven’t changed your hair” or even “Wait, don’t I know you from somewhere?” Shion just wanted to be someone who Nezumi would remember, someone who had made an impact, no matter how small, on Nezumi’s life, just enough so that Nezumi would be able to know his face.

_That’s ridiculous. It’s been four years, there’s no way anyone would remember something as trivial as a single bus ride after so long._

The sound of rushing water stopped, and Shion came back to his senses. “You up, Shion?” Nezumi called from the bathroom.

“Yeah.” Shion wiped the sleep from his eyes, and stood up.

“You can use the bathroom when I’m done. I’ll just be another minute,” Nezumi said, voice groggy from the morning and muffled by the door between them.

While he waited, Shion checked his phone.

**4 New Messages**

**From Safu:** _Are you spending the night there?_

 **From Safu:** _Your mother informed me that you are. Please text me back._

 **From Safu:** _Shion, please call me or text me to let me know you’re alive._

 **From Safu:** _TEXT ME._

Shion sighed and ran his hand over his face. He figured if he didn’t text back soon, she’d show up out of the blue and drag him home.

 **To Safu:** _Sorry, I was preoccupied last night. I’m fine, seriously._

Safu hadn’t exactly been ecstatic that Shion was moving in with someone other than her. They were both attending the same university, so naturally she had wanted to share a dorm with him, but dorms weren’t coed, and Shion couldn’t afford the rent on campus anyways. Obviously, that didn’t stop her from trying to be a part of his everyday life, but Shion didn’t mind. He knew she was just looking out for him, and he appreciated that.

 **From Safu:** _You had me worried sick! But I’m glad your okay._

 **From Safu:** _Let’s have lunch together. And you can tell me all about this ‘Nezumi’._

Shion smiled. He was surprised that Safu didn’t come directly to their apartment so he could ‘tell her about Nezumi’. She was usually one to get right to the point.

 **To Safu:** _Sure. How about 1 at Beehive Café?_

 **From Safu:** _Alright. See you then._

“Bathroom’s open.” The door to the bathroom swung open, and Nezumi walked into the room – in just a towel.

“Gah!” Shion jumped. He turned his head to hide his blush. It had just been a glimpse of pale skin, but it was enough to make Shion nervous.

“Heh. What, does this bother you?” Shion could see Nezumi saunter over to him out of the corned of his eye. He stopped right in front of Shion’s bed.

_Oh god, no. Don’t look don’t look don’t look._

“You know we’re roommates, now. It’s okay to look. We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other from now on,” Nezumi said, his voice level and unaccusing.

Shion tried to cool himself down. _It’ not even like he’s totally naked,_ Shion thought. _And we are roommates._ _It’s okay it you see each other…like that. He_ forced himself to make eye contact with Nezumi. “It’s…I’m fine. It’s fine.”

He turned away again, pointedly avoiding Nezumi’s bare chest, and gathered his toiletries and clothes and headed for the bathroom.

“Glad to see we cleared that up,” Nezumi jeered. Shion turned to answer him just as Nezumi unwrapped the towel –

\- and Shion dashed into bathroom and slammed the door behind him.

Shion slumped onto the toilet seat, clutching his things to his chest. He could hear Nezumi in the other room, laughing. Shion knew he was being ridiculous – they were both guys, after all. But that was the thing; they were both guys, and Shion was gay. That was something Shion neglected to tell Nezumi, since he felt he was at liberty to disclose that information when he felt like sharing it. But he hadn’t expected Nezumi to have such dazzling abs and strong calves and such long, dark wet hair and just to be so gorgeous.

So he had panicked. He took a deep breath in, and blew a deep breath out. He started sorting out his things, to take his mind off…off of very gay things.

Nezumi’s things were organized along the edge of the counter nearest the mirror, on the left side of the sink. So Shion placed his things on the right, and started getting ready for the day, brushing his teeth, combing his white hair, and washing his face. He patted a towel against his wet face, and looked into the mirror. As always, his eyes immediately gravitated to the red mark on his face. Shion lifted up a hand to touch it, to run his hand along it from the tip in the middle of his cheek, right under his eye, to the top of his cheekbone. The flesh there was soft, like most scar tissue, smoother than the rest of his skin, and a faded red.

As he stripped, the rest of the scars became visible. It was almost like one scar – Shion always thought it looked like a snake – encircling his body. It wrapped around his neck, over his shoulder and down his back around his stomach, around his left leg and ringed around his ankle.

Shion quickly put on his clothes before he could think too much about it.

 

The rest of the morning was quiet. Nezumi made them a breakfast of toast and coffee, and they ate in silence, Nezumi discreetly reading some script, Shion reading Shakespeare’s _Hamlet_ at Nezumi’s insistence.

“I’m going out. I guess I’ll see you later?” Shion said when it got close to one o’clock.

“Hold on a moment.” Nezumi up and returned promptly. He held something out to Shion. “Your key to the apartment.”

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Shion held the dingy copper piece of metal in his hand. “Thanks.”

Nezumi grunted. “Don’t you have somewhere to go?”

Shion laughed. “If you just wanted me gone, you could’ve said so.”

Nezumi looked a little surprised at his comment. “If I wanted you gone, I wouldn’t have let you live here.”

“Oh.”

There was an awkward pause, and Shion wasn’t really sure how to break it.

It turned out he didn’t have to. Nezumi remarked, “I’ll probably be gone when you get back. Work.” Nezumi took one last sip of his coffee before stepping out the room.

“Okay,” Shion said. “See you later, then.”

* * *

The Beehive Café was Safu and Shion’s favorite place to hang out. After Shion had moved to West Block, they hadn’t been able to see each other very often, since Safu lived on the opposite side of L.A. county in an up-and-coming town Cronos. But the Beehive was right in the middle of their two cities, and during their high school years, it became their usual hangout. It was also only a few blocks from the university, and only a twenty minute walk from Shion’s new apartment.

Shion walked down the streets of L.A. without hurry, admiring the looming buildings and pale blue sky. L.A. wasn’t a very pretty city, with its trodden down people always looking at their feet as they rushed past each other, and the dull buildings and smog and litter. But it suited Shion just fine – most places were better than West Block.

Shion felt a smile bloom on his lips when he finally saw the shoddy grey sign with cursive yellow lettering reading “The Beehive Café” hanging in front of him, and a smiling Safu standing underneath it.

“Safu!” Shion exclaimed, and hugged her. She hugged him back tightly, burying her head into his shoulder.

“It’s good to see you again, Shion,” she said, her voice filled with relief.

“It’s great to see you too,” Shion responded. “C’mon, let’s go inside. It’s hot out here.”

They broke off their hug and walked instead. The place was small, just a thin rectangular room that stretched back into the building, with dark wooden tables crowded on the right and a bar stretching along the left. Yellow accents – the plastic chairs, napkin holders, menus – gave the place a slightly modern vibe, without appearing too uptight.

Safu ordered her usual latte and Shion his usual black tea, and they sat down at their usual table near the front of the restaurant with the perfect view of the passersby on the crowded street outside.

Once they had settled in, Safu began her interrogation.

“So this Nezumi…did he do anything to you?”

“What? No…!”

“Is there anything about him that seems off?”

“Um, no…”

“Is he an alcoholic? Did you smell anything on him?”

“No! At least, I don’t think so – “

“Sex? Was he looking at you weird?”

“No!”

“How about drugs?”

“Safu – “

“Okay, okay, I guess he seems okay. But he could be hiding something, so keep your eyes open, Shion, and don’t be afraid to ask me about anything…suspicious he does.”

“I promise I’ll go to you if I need anything.”

“Good.”

She paused to take a sip of her latte.

“Was his apartment messy? Or clean?”

“Clean, I suppose.”

“What does he look like?”

“He’s a little taller than me, and he’s kind of pale, and he’s got grey eyes and long dark hair.”

“How long?”

“I…I don’t know, like shoulder length?”

“Does he strike you as the rebellious type?”

“Um…I don’t know if rebellious is the right word.”

“Does he seem like the criminal type?”

“Safu!”

“Sorry. I guess we’ll move on to more specifics…how old his he?”

“Um, our age I think?”

“What do you mean, ‘you think’? Find out for sure.”

“Fine.”

“What does he do? Is he in school?”

“No, I think he’s working, though I’m not sure what he does…”

“You didn’t think to ask him?”

“Well, I brought it up, but he didn’t seem keen on sharing.”

“Shion! What if he’s an assassin?! Or a drug dealer?! Or a prostitute?!”

“Safu! Keep your voice down. They’ll kick us out if you keep going like that…”

“Sorry. But Shion…what do you even know about this guy?”

Shion blinked and looked up from his tea. “Huh?”

“You don’t seem to know anything about him, but you’re already rooming with him. He’s a stranger, Shion! You can’t know what he’s like! How can you trust a complete stranger?” Safu fumed.

“I…” Shion didn’t know what to say. Safu’s logic was sound. It might have felt like he knew Nezumi…but he didn’t. He hadn’t seen this kid for years, and he had hardly known him in the first place. He could be a criminal, and Shion would have no idea.

Safu stared at him, her fierce gaze as sharp as ice. “Well?”

Shion sighed, and took a sip of tea, letting its warmth slide through his throat and calm him down. “I guess…we’ll have to just wait and see. He hasn’t done anything that’s made me doubt his trustworthiness yet…and besides, even though I don’t know anything about him, he doesn’t know anything about me either.”

Safu huffed. “He could be a hacker and know everything about you.”

Shion’s stomach turned at that thought. “I don’t think he’s a hacker. All he has is a phone and a laptop like mine.”

Safu sipped her latte in silence. He could tell she was unsatisfied. He reached over and took her hand in his own.

“Safu, I know you’re concerned, and I appreciate that.” Safu looked at her lap, a light blush materializing across her cheeks. “I really do. But I’m almost 19 now, and I can make my own decisions. West Block hardened me, and before that…Anyways, if it would make you happy, once I’ve properly settled in, I can show you around the place.”

“Really?” Safu looked up, her gaze softer than before. “Would that be okay with _him_?”

“Nezumi will be fine with it. Let’s just…give him a little while to get use to me, before I introduce you guys. Does that sound okay?”

Safu nodded. Shion smiled, and let go of her hand. But before he could reach for his tea her hand darted out and grabbed his wrist. “But Shion,” she said, voice cold again. “If there’s anything you need – anything – let me know, okay?”

“Okay. I promise.”

Safu let go of his hand, returning to her latte. “Besides,” Shion said, thinking of the apartment again, “he loves musicals. He has tons of scripts and CDs and his bedroom walls have musical posters on them.”

“Hmph,” Safu sniffed. “That doesn’t tell you much about him.”

“How bad could a guy who loves musicals be?”

“I have a friend, Ann. Have you met her? Anyway, she works for the local theatre as an intern. She’s a musical buff too. And she’s a bitch.”

“Safu!”

“What? It’s true. Don’t be fooled by the musical geek aesthetic, Shion, he could be psychotic.”

Shion laughed. He could always rely on Safu to cheer him up with her crazy theories. 

* * *

 

Shion returned to the apartment a couple hours later, head full of thought about university classes and apartments and Nezumi. When he reached the building to the apartment, and looked at the three-story grey building rising high above him, Shion couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of pride. _This is my apartment now,_ he thought. _I own a part of this._

The building was about twenty feet wide, and while the top two floors had a couple of small windows, the bottom floor had wide windows stretching across it, though they were too dirty and tinted to see much inside. The door was on the very right, painted grey to match the building. Shion noticed a sign he hadn’t seen yesterday etched over the windows: “DOG KENNEL”. Ah – so that’s what Nezumi had meant. He wondered how he hadn’t heard the dogs in the night…

He opened the door and stepped out of the heat. Directly in front of him were a set of stairs Shion knew led up to his apartment. Yesterday he hadn’t seen anyone on the first floor and had let himself up. Today, though, he glanced left and saw someone tending to something at the front of the room.

“Hello!” he called, hoping to catch their attention. The person paused and looked up. They were short, with dark skin and darker long hair, and dark eyes. It looked as though they had been filling bowls with dog food. _This must be Inukashi,_ he thought.

They looked Shion over, their gaze sizing him up like a show dog. “You must be Shion,” they said.

Shion nodded and walked over to Inukashi, holding out a hand. “Hi! And you must be Inukashi. Nice to meet you.”

Inukashi looked at his hand and barked a laugh. “Wouldja look at that,” they said, looking at his hand with surprise. “Sure you want to shake this dirty hand?” They waved their grimy hand around.

Shion furrowed his brows and said, “Yeah. I’m sure.”

Inukashi’s mouth dropped slightly open, and they stopped waving their hand. “If you insist,” they muttered, forcefully shaking Shion’s waiting hand.

“So how did you know about me?” Shion asked, taking a look around the room. It was fairly large, and mostly empty, besides the mismatched bowls and water near the front and the dog beds – complete with three mutts – in the back. The mutts were quiet, just watching him, and they were really, really cute. And smelled very strongly of dog.

“Nezumi warned me yesterday. Said he didn’t know if anyone would take the place since it smelled like dog. I guess you must not have a sense of smell.”

Shion laughed. “My nose is fine, actually, and I liked the apartment. I like dogs, too.”

Inukashi snickered and bent down to continue filling the bowls with food. “What about Nezumi?”

“Nezumi?”

“Yeah, didn’t he drive you away with his horrid personality?”

Shion thought back to last night. Although it was true Nezumi hadn’t been the most welcoming host, he hadn’t done anything to drive Shion away. In fact, if Shion wasn’t mistaken, he had been rather nice. “I think his personality’s just fine.”

“Ha!” Inukashi barked. “Just wait. I have a bet with Rikiga – he says you’ll last a month, but I’m only giving you a week.”

“Who’s Rikiga?”

“Your upstairs neighbor.”

“Oh.”

Shion blushed – Nezumi’s neighbors were betting he would leave. Safu didn’t trust Nezumi. And his mother didn’t want him to leave in the first place. It seemed like the only one with any confidence with this situation was himself.

“Are you just going to stand there?” Inukashi asked after a moment.

“Um…sorry. I should get going,” Shion said, started to back out of the room. “Nice meeting you!”

Inukashi looked confused again, but muttered, “Yeah, yeah. See you ‘round.”

Shion smiled and walked up the stairs, opening his new apartment with this new key. _Nezumi has strange neighbors,_ Shion thought, but he found he didn’t mind. He liked this place, its faults and people included.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _edited 11/7/16_


	4. Nezumi

As the door shut behind Shion, Nezumi let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t really know what he was relieved about – maybe it was having the apartment to himself after almost a full twenty four hours. Ah, hell, he knew why.

_“Please…no….don’t…”_

Last night’s incident was still fresh in his mind. The image of Shion’s pitiful little form, wriggling around with his face twisted up in pain and fear, was carved into his eyes. He couldn’t shake thoughts of the poor kid from his head, of his helpless form breaking out in a cold sweat. The worse thing was his pleading, his weeping, his voice crying out in pain. The tremor in Shion’s voice, the desperation in his tone, was far worse than the sight of him twisting and turning. The noises haunted his ears, echoed in the back of his mind on and endless repeat, scratching at his eardrums and his conscious.

With a sudden _thud_ Nezumi smacked his mug down on the table and trudged into his bedroom, grabbed his laptop, found ‘Broadway Showtunes’ on Pandora, and set his laptop’s volume to the max.

“Ev'ry day, more wicked!  
Ev'ry day, the terror grows!  
All of Oz is ever on alert!”

Nezumi sighed. He lay down on his bed, next to his computer, and softly sang along.

“That's the way with Wicked -   
Spreading fear where e'er she goes  
Seeking out new victims she can hurt!”

_“…don’t….please stop…”_

_Shit!_ Nezumi ran his hands over his face in frustration, pulling at his hair and covering his ears. Even against the bubbly sound of Kristen Chenoweth’s angelic voice, the sounds of Shion’s pleading wouldn’t go away.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t dealt with this kind of thing before. Back in middle school, because of Nezumi’s situation, he came across this situation all the time. Kids crying out in their sleep, kids cowering in fear of adults, kids crying at the sight of a belt or a newspaper or a fist. And of course, he saw some of Shion in himself. But somehow, despite all those other experiences, with Shion, it was different. And Nezumi didn’t like it.

Nezumi felt his pocket buzz, and pulled it out of his pocket.

**1 New Message**

**From Karan:** _How did last night go? Was Shion a bother?_

Nezumi sighed. He hoped this wouldn’t be how he would start every morning, with some crazy mom demanding to know every movement his roommate made. But somehow, it was kind of endearing. Nezumi couldn’t remember a time when his own mother had been overprotective…but that was for obvious reasons. Seeing a mother be so fond and care so much about her kid was a sight Nezumi didn’t often see, and if he was at all sentimental he might have even said it warmed his heart.

 **To Karan:** _Last night went fine._

Nezumi smirked as he waited for her to text back; he could imagine the sigh of relief from some typical housewife leaning against the counter in her kitchen.

 **From Karan:** _Good. Let me know if he causes you any trouble._

 **Nezumi:** _Yes, ma’am_

Nezumi shoved his phone in his pocket and let himself become absorbed in his music.

“That's why I couldn't be happier  
No, I couldn't be happier  
Though it is, I admit  
The tiniest bit  
Unlike I anticipated”

_Knock knock knock knock knock –_

“Fuck.”

Only one person knocked like that. And as Nezumi realized how loud his laptop was, he could guess the reason why they were here. He paused the music and took his time getting to the door.

_Knock knock knock knock –_

As Nezumi opened the door, he asked with a scowl, “What do you want, Rikiga?”

Sure enough, there was Rikiga, leaning arrogantly against the doorframe, wearing his annoying newsboy cap and a scowl of his own. “Two things. One, turn down that god damn music!”

Nezumi smirked, “Why? Does it bother your poor tender ears? Or does it distract from your work?” Rikiga frown as his face reddened. “No wait – one of your bitches is over and they asked you to ‘be a man’ and confront your neighbor about his infernal taste in music?”

Rikiga shouted, “You shut up about my girls! You don’t know anything about me and you can’t say anything about them you sonofabi – “

“And your other point?”

Rikiga grunted, and crossed his arms. “I don’t know if I want to tell you now,” he said. Nezumi cringed at the snobbery in his tone. He actually didn’t have too much of a problem with Rikiga – he liked to tease him, of course, and the guy was a cocky bastard, but he had more bark than bite. The only real trouble Rikiga ever gave him was when he had one of his girls over. Those were traumatic nights. Thankfully they were steadily becoming more rare. Nezumi really didn’t care why, he was just happy he didn’t have to listen to Rikiga and some bitch ‘make love’ every week.

“Well if you’re not gonna tell me…” Nezumi began to shut the door.

“Wait! Fine! I’ll tell you. Can I come in?”

“Why should I invite you in? Just last week you called my place a shithole. And I’m not sure a clean, rich pimp like you is suited for this environment – “

“Just let me in, kid! Jeez, I’m sorry! It’ll just be a moment.” Rikiga actually sounded serious for once, so Nezumi opened his door wide enough for Rikiga to enter.

“Is the other kid here?” he asked, taking a seat on the very edge of Nezumi’s couch.

Nezumi cocked his head. “Who? Shion?”

Rikiga nodded.

“No. Why the hell do you care?”

“Because he’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

Nezumi raised an eyebrow. He couldn’t think of anything Rikiga would have to say about Shion. Surely he hadn’t even heard him come in yesterday? The walls weren’t _that_ thin. And Shion had only been there a day – there couldn’t have been anything to complain about yet. Because knowing Rikiga, the only reason he would voluntarily talk to Nezumi would be to complain.

Rikiga straightened his sports jacket and set his hands on top of his knees. He cleared his throat and began, “Did you know I used to be a reporter?”

Nezumi rolled his eyes. “It was like the second thing you told me about yourself, the first being you were a rich sick bastard.”

“Tch.” Rikiga looked disappointed that Nezumi had ruined his grand disclosure.

“Well, I used to be a reporter for the Los Angeles Times. Because of…reasons not concerning you, they fired me. But before that, I was a talented, respected reporter. You might even say that I was a big shot – “

“I find that hard to believe.”

“Shut up. As I was saying, because I _was_ a big shot, they had me cover an important story. It wasn’t huge, but it was…a difficult one to cover. Naturally, they came to me for the job, and I covered this…event.”

“What the hell’s your point, Rikiga?”

“It involved your friend Shion.”

“…What?” _What could Shion have been involved in that was newsworthy?_

“I remember because his mother – Karan – was the most lovely woman I had ever met.” Rikiga looked almost sentimental, nostalgic, as he dramatically stared off into the distance that was Nezumi’s bedroom. “She was involved in the case, too, and I was given the privilege of meeting her. She was the kindest, p-prettiest woman…oh, Karan!” Rikiga’s eyes were teary, and he wiped his red face with the palms of his hands. Nezumi would have laughed at this ridiculous display if he hadn’t been so anxious to hear the story.

Rikiga wiped his face one last time, and cleared his throat again. “I can’t tell you much about it. They have a right to their privacy. Which is why she asked for my article not to be published. There’d been some other articles about the – the event beforehand, but those were lost with the papers. Normally you’d be able to find them in the online archives, but they were never published there, again for her privacy. I…I don’t think I would’ve done anything like that for a lesser person. I had to convince my boss…not to publish the article…I think that was partly why they fired me…”

Rikiga kept dodging the point, and Nezumi was getting frustrated. He snapped, “Rikiga, focus. What was the fucking event?”

“I told you – I can’t tell you. I don’t think either of them would want me to tell you…”

“Then why the _fuck_ are you here?” Nezumi demanded, keeping his voice level, but filling it with venom. “Why the _hell_ would you come here to tell me you can’t. Fucking. Tell. Me.”

“Calm down, kid, Shion’ll tell you eventually. Probably. Anyways, I told you all of that so I could tell you this, so you would understand: Treat that kid right. He’s been through a lot. And I know you have, too…”

Nezumi scoffed loudly.

“But so has he. Just…be gentle with him. This kid deserves a better roommate than some asshole like you – “

Nezumi didn’t deny that.

“ – but the least you could do is be less of a dick to him. You need to…look out for him. L.A. can be an ugly place…especially around here…you know that. I don’t know how he’s still nice after what he went through, but I’ve heard his is. Not many people could come out of a situation like that as resiliently as he did – he’s a good person. From what Karan told me, and from what I found out while researching, he’s genuinely a nice guy. Who knows how he ended up among us bottom feeders…actually, I do know. And it’s not a pretty story.”

Nezumi stood frozen, the story not quite processing.

“Get out,” he hissed.

“Nezumi – “

 _“Fuck off, old man_.” he snarled. Rikiga jumped up and made for the door. He opened it, but before he headed out, he called back to Nezumi, who stood unmoving in the middle of the room.

“Oh, and one more thing! It’s probably best if he doesn’t know who I am! And that he doesn’t know that I told you about…this.”

The piercing glare he shot Rikiga was followed by a _slam!_ of the door.

He stomped to his couch and threw himself down. Nezumi was pissed Rikiga wouldn’t tell him. Normally Rikiga was one to boast about knowledge he had no place in knowing, but this one time he was keeping quiet. Maybe it was because he liked Shion’s mom, or maybe he really did care for Shion. Maybe he was hiding something. He didn’t know Rikiga could possibly be hiding…but considering it was Rikiga, it couldn’t be anything big, right?

He’d just have to squeeze it out of Rikiga, pester him until he knew all the facts. He knew there was probably a good reason for him hiding this information, but Nezumi thought that, as Shion’s roommate, he deserved to know. He thought about just asking Shion himself. He could even text Karan. But judging from Shion’s condition last night, there were plenty of bad memories associated with this ‘event’ and Nezumi didn’t want to trigger either Shion or his mom. 

Nezumi wondered about Shion…if the event was so bad and traumatic that Rikiga was surprised Shion was still a good person…Shion must have some kind of strength Nezumi rarely saw. Resilience was not a quality many people around here had. Despite not knowing what exactly Shion had went through, Nezumi found himself admiring Shion for emerging through, still whole, after everything he went through. He didn’t need another reason to have interest in Shion, but here he was, more intrigued than ever by some kid who asked to be his friend on a field trip.

Nezumi figured he’d start out his persuasion subtly. So he went back to his room and un-paused Pandora, and sang along loudly to _Wicked_.

“Save us from the Wicked!  
Shield us so we won't be hexed!  
Give us warning:  
Where will she strike next?  
Where will she strike next?  
Where will she strike next!?”

* * *

 When Shion came back from wherever he went, it was starting to get dark out. Unsure of what to do with the information (or lack thereof) that Rikiga had given him, Nezumi had napped for the past couple hours. But Shion’s return stirred him awake, and looking at the time – 5:20 – he figured he should get up and get ready for work.

Yawning, Nezumi walked into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water.

“Hey,” Shion said, joining Nezumi in the kitchen.

Nezumi grunted in response. Shion laughed, poured himself some water, and proceeded to tell Nezumi about his day – not that Nezumi had asked to hear about it. Apparently he had gone to lunch with one of his old friends. As he talked, Nezumi realized how happy Shion looked. He had that lingering smile on his face, the ones people like him got after they had a good time. His hair was ruffled and a layer of sweat near his hairline glimmered in the white light of the kitchen bulbs. Shion seemed genuinely happy to be back in the apartment though, blabbing about his day to Nezumi like they were life long friends. Rikiga’s words came back to him: _“…_ _be gentle with him. This kid deserves a better roommate than some asshole like you…”_

Shion didn’t seem like he’d been through a lot. He looked far too positive for that. He almost couldn’t believe that anything had happened to him. But Nezumi knew as well as anyone what a convincing smile could hide. And there was last night to think about, of course…

“…she’s really a good person, but she’s pretty protective of me, so I was wondering if she could come and, I don’t know, visit the apartment?” Shion looked expectantly at Nezumi.

“…What?”

“I was wondering if Safu could come and visit the apartment?” Shion asked patiently. “Just to check it out. She really wants to meet you, too.”

“Hmph. If she’s anything like your mother, then I don’t know if I want to meet her.”

Shion’s face fell, his eyes growing wide like a sad puppy dog. “Oh. Well, maybe…maybe if she came when you were gone or something…”

Nezumi rolled his eyes. “I was joking, idiot. Of course she can come. It’s your apartment as much as mine, now.”

“Okay,” Shion smiled. He was so quick to change moods, it was almost comical. “When can I bring her?”

Nezumi shrugged. “I don’t care. But if she really does want to meet me, then make sure it doesn’t interfere with my work schedule.”

“Oh,” Shion guiltily looked away. Nezumi suddenly remembered how he had snapped at Shion yesterday when he had asked about his job. He felt bad, especially since it seemed like Shion took his secretive ways rather personally, but it was for the good of their relationship as roommates. It wasn’t that Nezumi was ashamed of his job – far from it, actually. But he was afraid of what Shion would think of him. So it was better that he didn’t know.

“I leave for work at six and usually come back around two, Mondays through Fridays. I’m gone most of the day Saturday, and Sunday I have off,” he informed Shion.

“Okay,” Shion said. “Wait – since today is Monday, does that mean – “

“Yeah. I should be leaving for work soon.” Nezumi realized then how empty his stomach felt, and asked Shion, “Hey, do you like Chinese?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m going to order some Chinese takeout for dinner. There’s a place down the street that has a porter. What do you want?” Nezumi reached for his cell phone, ready to call the number that was saved in his favorites.

“Um, whatever you have, I guess. I’m not too picky.”

After he had finished ordering, Nezumi went to pack his bag. He discreetly closed the door to his room, so Shion wouldn’t suspect him of anything. He crept over to his closet, which was fit snuggly next to his bed, and grabbed his clothes and supplies for the evening. He stuffed it all in his black duffle bag – though it was no light load, and it took him quite a while – and when he was done, he placed it next to the front door.

Not soon after, the doorbell rang and the porter delivered their order. Nezumi made both of them plates, handed one to Shion, and sat on the couch, where they both ate their meal in silence.

Nezumi should’ve known it wouldn’t last long. Shion was just too curious to be quiet. It was a weird change of pace for Nezumi, who usually spoke in whispers and listened with an ear to the keyhole.

“So…you like musicals?” he asked.

Nezumi had known this was coming; the only question had been when. If the scripts and DVDs and CDs weren’t a dead give away, then the multitude of posters on his bedroom wall definitely were. He had contemplated taking them down before Shion came, but in the end, he didn’t want to have to change for Shion. Besides, Shion had seemed pretty excepting of it all those years ago. _But he’s probably changed since then, dipshit._

He sighed. “Yes. Congratulations, you figured it out, Sherlock.”

Shion laughed. “I think it’s pretty cool. I don’t think I’m quite as enthusiastic about them as you are, but I do enjoy a good production.”

Nezumi’s lips quirked into a half smile. “There aren’t many people around here that respect musicals. All of those weirdos are in New York. ‘Round here, all people care about are movies and reality TV.” Shion was one of few that Nezumi had met who actually respected musicals.

“Yeah. What’s you’re favorite one?” Shion asked.

“Ha! Are you sure you want to ask that question?” Nezumi smirked. “You asked for it. I don’t have a favorite musical, because all musicals are different, and they each offer different music, different plots, different characters that all contribute to each individual production. For example, _Thoroughly Modern Millie_ has a fantastic set of characters, but the music from _Les Miserables_ is undoubtedly of a higher quality…” Nezumi went on to speak about the strengths and flaws of each of his favorite musicals, while Shion sat content to listen with his fried rice and egg rolls, his attention never wavering.

“…and I should probably stop there, because a discussion about the  deeper meanings of _Mary Poppins_ would take another hour at the very least.”

Nezumi stopped to catch his breath. Shion was beaming at him, with a smile that stretched from ear to ear.

“That was really interesting, Nezumi! I’m never going to be able to watch all those musicals the same again…”

“I should hope not,” Nezumi asserted.

“…but you said you leave for work at six, right? It’s actually six ten right now…”

“What!? Shit!” Nezumi whipped out his phone, and sure enough, the time read 6:10. “Shit! I have to go, don’t want my boss to yell at me again – he already gets on my nerves enough…” Nezumi put his plate on the coffee table, and ran to get his jacket.

“I can clean up if you want,” Shion offered, taking Nezumi’s plate off the coffee table.

“Um…thanks,” Nezumi grudgingly said, hoisting the duffle bag over his shoulder.

“Um…bye.”

“Have a good time at work,” Shion called from the kitchen. “Be safe!”

Nezumi rolled his eyes. This defenseless kid was telling _him_ to be safe…Rikiga was right. He needed to watch out for this kid.

* * *

The next morning when Nezumi woke up, there was a text message awaiting him.

 **From Inukashi:** _does ur friend wanna job?_

Nezumi looked up from his phone. Across the room, though not quite five feet away, Shion lay sound asleep burrowed in a bundle of blankets. Last night was quiet, no yelling or whimpering or tossing and turning. The expression on Shion’s face right now was the same as it had been last night; peaceful, with eyes lightly closed and lips slightly parted.

He decided to wait until Shion woke up on his own to ask him if he had a summer job. In the mean time, Nezumi woke up his body, stretching his arms and back, rubbing his eyes and tying his hair into a ponytail to get it out of his face. He climbed out of bed and threw on a shirt. He slumped into the kitchen and started making coffee.

Nezumi wondered what kind of job Inukashi had for Shion. It couldn’t be overly pleasant; feeding the dogs gross pellets, taking them for walks and cleaning up their shit, bathing them – it all sounded terrible to Nezumi. Then again, he wasn’t overly fond of dogs. He had had too many bad experiences with dogs for him to ever truly like them.

Not long after the coffee was done, Shion walked into the kitchen and let out a huge yawn.

Nezumi tried to stop it but he couldn’t help himself – he yawned right back.

Shion was grinning.

“Yawning is contagious,” Nezumi grumbled. He gestured to the counter where Shion’s coffee lay in wait.

“You know,” Shion said, taking his coffee and sitting by the counter next to Shion, “there are multiple theories explaining why yawning is contagious. Some people think it’s a reflex – it’s just something that happens naturally, to yawn when you see someone else yawn, like when you pull your hand away after touching something hot. Anther one  - also physiological – suggests that it’s because of mirror neurons, which are brain cells that absorb visual stimulation with the intent to use that information to better execute the same action. Oh, and then there’s the empathy yawn. That theory states that it’s empathy for the other person that causes you to yawn. There’s been a couple studies on it, and I think it’s pretty interesting. But I don’t think there’s been enough research to conclusively determine anything…that’s why there’s all the different theories still floating around.”

Nezumi took a sip of his coffee. “That was quite a speech.”

Shion traced his finger around the rim of his mug, shyly peering into it. “Sorry to bore you…my mom says I put people off when I talk like that.” Shion’s cheeks were rosy again.

“I think it’s kind of interesting, actually,” Nezumi said nonchalantly.

Shion perked up. “Really?”

 _No_ , Nezumi thought. _But I didn’t want to make you sad._

Normally Nezumi wouldn’t care about such a dumb little thing. But Rikiga’s words still rang in his hears as loud as Shion’s screams from the other night. And something about seeing Shion light up when talking like that made Nezumi smile too.

 _Get a hold of yourself,_ he thought. _Don’t be such a softie._

“I loving learning about stuff like that. It’s always so cool to think about trivial things like yawning through a scientific lens. Safu and I used to talk about theories like that all the time…”

Shion took another sip of his coffee. To purge the nostalgia from the room, Nezumi asked him, “Do you have a summer job?”

“No,” Shion said. “Why?”

Nezumi took out his phone. “The asshole down stairs asked if you wanted one.”

“Oh,” Shion said, and his brows furrowed as he seemed to think it over. “I wasn’t really planning on having one…but now that I think about it, there isn’t much else to do around here. All I did yesterday was read and watch TV. Yeah, tell them I’d be interested!”

Nezumi raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure, kid? You do know that they own a shelter, right? With a horde of mangy mutts? That you’ll probably have to help take care of?”

Shion smiled. “I don’t mind. I really like animals, actually. I’d love to help out!”

 _Of course you would,_ Nezumi thought. “I’ll text Inukashi then. Tell them you’re up for the job.”

Nezumi texted a response to Inukashi, and they sat in silence while they waited for an answer. But it wasn’t a comfortable silence; there was that tension between them again. It was like a string was tied around Nezumi’s throat, tightening by the second and pulling him closer to Shion. The urge to ask Shion what had happened, why his mother wanted it covered up, if he was still okay, was almost overwhelming, an itch in the back of his throat that he couldn’t reach. Nezumi could tell Shion felt it, too, from the way he seemed unsettled on his stool and the way his fingers fidgeted with his mug. Nezumi could only guess what Shion wanted to ask him; what his job was, why he was so unsociable, why he added so much milk to his coffee. _Or if I remembered him too._

His phone buzzed, pulling him out of his troubled thoughts.

 _Thank god_.

**1 New Message**

**From Inukashi:** _bring him down in 5_

“Are you doing anything soon?” he asked Shion, who looked just as glad as he had that the silence was broken and the string around their necks was cut.

“No.”

“Let’s go downstairs, then. Inukashi’s waiting to give you instructions for your demise.” 

* * *

Twenty minutes later found them outside, in the back alleyway, with a hose, several wet dogs, and soaking clothes. For Shion, at least – Nezumi stayed out of the way as Inukashi showed Shion how to properly wash the dogs, though it seemed Shion was doing a better job than Inukashi. Or at least a more thorough one. He was still washing the first dog, a chocolate Labrador mix of some sort, thought it was hard to tell since it was hidden underneath a pile of bubbles.

“Shion! Move your ass on to the next one!” Inukashi yelled from behind the dog they were washing, a white long-haired dog almost as tall as Inukashi themself. “He’s perfectly clean, give it up!”

“Okay, I’ll just rinse him off,” Shion said, setting down the soapy sponge. “Stay,” he told the dog while he grabbed the hose. “Good boy.” The dog wagged its tail, swishing around the mountain of suds piled on the concrete. The dog itself looked like a giant bubbly monster, covered in bubbles so dense all you could make out of the actual dog was his pink tongue hanging out of his mouth and his tail thumping on the ground among the bubbly mayhem.

Nezumi leaned back against the wall of their building, careful not to get water on his boots or his clothes, while Shion hosed down the abominable bubble dog. He didn’t know why he had stayed to watch…maybe because he didn’t trust Inukashi alone with Shion, or he wanted to make sure Shion wasn’t doing anything dangerous. Although Shion seemed just like his namesake – a delicate flower – he appeared to be handling the dogs okay.

“Ah!” Inukashi screamed as Shion’s dog jumped on them, knocking them to the ground. The dog was still halfway covered in suds, and Inukashi was suddenly shrouded in bubbles too. “Control that damn dog, Shion!” Shion and Nezumi laughed as both dogs started ferociously licking Inukashi’s face.

Shion smiled and handled the lab back to finish washing him off. Inukashi got up and wiped off as many bubbles as they could, but there were still huge damp patches all over their clothes, and a dollop of bubbles on their head.

“That’s a nice look on you Inukashi,” Nezumi remarked with a smirk.

“You shut the fuck up,” Inukashi spat. The scooped the dollop of bubbles from their head and threw it at Nezumi, who easily dodged the incoming bubble cloud. Nezumi scoffed, and Inukashi gave him the finger.

“Nezumi. Inukashi,” Shion firmly commanded, still rinsing off the chocolate lab. They both froze and turned his way. Shion spoke with conviction and stared them both down with a fierce glint in his eye. “Behave yourselves. You’re grown ups. Act like it.”

Shion gave him a particularly long look, staring right into his eyes, and Nezumi felt his face heat up. It wasn’t like Shion could see right into his soul, or right through him, or however the cliché went. Shion’s eyes were like a knife that pierced his heart and rendered him immobile.

But then Shion smiled and the moment was over as quickly as it came. “I thought he was the one who was still suppose to be in school,” he laughed good-naturedly.

 _What was that about?_ Nezumi thought. But he told himself it was nothing, and brushed off whatever weird feeling he had gotten from Shion just then.

Nezumi scoffed. “When you talk to a child, you have to act like a child – “

Inukashi punched his shoulder. “Hey!” Nezumi barked, but they scrambled inside before Nezumi could hit them back. “Come back here, asshole!” he yelled as he ran inside after the shelter owner.

“You little shit…” he mutter under his breath. The back room was empty, so he worked his way to the front. “Inuka – hey!”

Nezumi was suddenly whipped aside and spun around. A small hand thrust him against the wall, the other hand wrapped around his throat. Nezumi’s head smacked the wall with a thump. He winced, but peered down at his assaulter. It was Inukashi, their dark hair like a curtain covering their face.

“What the _fuck_?” Nezumi hissed. It’d be easy for him to break out of this hold; Inukashi was a lot smaller than him and they’d be easy to overpower. But he didn’t move because of the dogs growling in the other corner of the room, three large mutts with sharp teeth bared.

“It’s funny how just a couple words from that kid made you freeze,” they said softly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you caught off guard like that, Nezumi.”

Nezumi snickered. “You seemed just as surprised as it did.”

The grip around his throat tightened. “You two are awful friendly, and it’s only been what – two days? Three? And he’s already got you under his thumb.”

“The hell are you talking about?!” Nezumi growled, but he realized that in a way, Inukashi was right. The way he reacted to Shion was different than he had with anyone else. It was that stupid face and his kindness and ability to put up with Nezumi’s shoddy personality. But now it was the need to protect him, too, to prevent this kid who had apparently suffered so much from coming to any further harm.

“You know what I’m talking about.” Inukashi looked up at Nezumi through their curtain of hair, their big eyes suddenly sharp. “You know how it is in this part of town, especially because you’re you and you get on everyone’s bad side. He’s going to be your weakness. “

“Why the hell do you think – “

“Because it’s been two days and you’ve already smiled, _really_ smiled, more than you do in a month,” Inukashi said. Nezumi relaxed his face to a neutral expression. Had he really smiled that much? “If that’s how it’s been after two days, what d’you think’ll happen after two months?”

Inukashi suddenly released their grip, and Nezumi massaged his throat. The growling from the dogs didn’t subside.

“I’m not telling you this because I care about you,” Inukashi continued. “But Shion is sincere. He doesn’t deserve to be a target. So don’t let yourself get too close, or you’ll both get hurt.”

 _Inukashi doesn’t know anything about Shion. They’re just making this up to mess with me,_ Nezumi thought. Looking back at Inukashi’s expression, though, it didn’t seem like much of a prank.

“Hey, guys! Where’d you go?” Shion called from outside. The growling behind them stopped. It seemed like even the dogs were enchanted by this kid.

“We’re just having a friendly adult conversation,” Inukashi yelled back. “Right Nezumi?”

Nezumi turned his head and didn’t answer, electing to instead head back to his apartment to get ready for work, and to think these things over in a place where he wouldn’t be interrupted by a kind, resilient boy with white hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The song Nezumi plays is "Thank Goodness" from the play _Wicked_ which you can listen to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xSRCSXlaxM)
> 
> *The information I got about yawning was from [here](http://ed.ted.com/lessons/why-is-yawning-contagious-claudia-aguirre)
> 
> _edited 11/7/16_


	5. Shion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank you guys so much for your support. I don't know if it's the quality of the work or the fandom (both, hopefully?) but this work has gotten a lot more love than I ever would've expected it to considering the size of this fandom.
> 
> Thank you again, and kudos and comments are always appreciated!
> 
> *[One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G18qq0UekNM) from _A Chorus Line_ , as featured in this chapter

Sunday morning, almost a week later, and as per usual morning ritual, Shion was in the bathroom, getting ready for the day. He had just finished brushing his hair. His brush was small and black, but the bristle-ly part looked white from all of Shion’s stray hairs. He supposed he should clean it soon; it was definitely getting gross. He put down the brush and leaned over the counter, inspecting his roots in the mirror. They were growing out again, the dark brown clearly visible against the bright white. They were almost an inch long.

Shion wondered, as he did every time his roots grew out, if he should just chop all his white hair off and keep it short and brown, like it was before middle school. He wouldn’t have to struggle so much with knots and shampoo, and not having to die his roots every couple of months would be cheaper, too. But every time he decided against it. His white hair had become just as much a part of his new identity as the scars wrapped around his body and the smile plastered on his face. It was a way to forget the past and a way to look to the future.

Plus, a number of years ago, a certain middle schooler had told him he liked his white hair.

Obviously if Nezumi didn’t remember him, the he wouldn’t remember that conversation when Shion had told him about the mistake with the bleach. And it was true, back then; he had only wanted his hair a couple shades lighter. But once it was white, and Nezumi had told him he liked it, and his mom and Safu had both loved it too, he decided to keep it that way. It had earned him a lot of looks back in West Block, but in this part of L.A. (or maybe any part) it was evident that no one gave a shit.

That was one of the things Shion liked about living here. And Shion liked a lot of things about living here: Shion liked the apartment, and he liked working with Inukashi and the dogs, he liked the indifference of the people here. He liked the Chinese takeout, the bookstore around the corner, and his close proximity to the university. He liked the noises of the city late at night, the busting of the cars and the murmur of the crowds, and he liked the sky that was always bright and cloudless in the summer. And, of course, he liked Nezumi. He had already known that before coming to live here, though.

During the past week they had settled into a comfortable routine. Every day he got up, and Nezumi made coffee, and they ate breakfast together. Then Shion went downstairs and helped Inukashi with the dogs, feeding them or walking them or washing them. He went back upstairs and made lunch for Nezumi and him, and bring down something for Inukashi as well. Later he hung around the apartment and read the books Nezumi recommended (he was currently reading _The Picture of Dorian Gray_ ) or watched TV or reviewed his material for his classes in the upcoming semester. Then Nezumi ordered dinner, and they ate together again, and then Nezumi left for whatever his job was, and Shion went to sleep alone.

Shion was almost completely at home living with Nezumi in his shabby apartment – but this past week raised even more questions for Shion. He knew Nezumi had a neighbor upstairs, but he had yet to meet him. Who was he? And where did the scars on Nezumi’s back come from? (Nezumi wasn’t shy when it came to sharing a bathroom.) And he still wanted to know what Nezumi’s job was.

But Shion didn’t bombard him with questions. If Shion asked questions about Nezumi, then Nezumi would ask questions about Shion, and that would be, to put it delicately, an _unpleasant_ affair.

So he kept his questions to himself, and went about the days as normally as he could in Nezumi’s apartment complex. Shion appreciated normalcy, but the change of pace from living in West Block was welcome.

_Knock knock._

“What the fuck’s taking you so long?” Nezumi asked from outside the bathroom.

Shion rolled his eyes but smiled at Nezumi’s childish impatience. He and looked in the mirror one last time, fluffed up his hair, and said, “I’ll be out in a minute, Mr. Grump.”

* * *

 

Early that afternoon, Shion was out in the back alley again, washing one of the dogs. Shion realized quickly that washing the dogs was Inukashi’s least favorite task to do, so that’s what Shion ended up doing most of the time. Since there were so many dogs, (Shion swore he saw a new one there every day) and washing one took up so much time, Shion usually only got through a couple a day. It had been nearly a week and Shion hadn’t washed the same dog twice.

Currently Shion was washing a big black dog with short, shiny fur and a thin, pointed snout. As he scrubbed the soapy sponge through her fur, she sat perfectly still with her head up and her eyes slightly squinted. For some reason, she reminded him of Safu (it was probably the way she held herself like a queen while he bathed her like a humble servant).

The back door suddenly opened and Inukashi popped out. “You done yet, Shion?”

Shion shook his head. “I just need to hose her down now. Isn’t that right girl?” The dog glanced in his direction and let out a loud puff of breath _,_ as though to say _Yeah yeah, now get on with it peasant_. Shion smiled. _Definitely like Safu._

“Fine. Your shift’s almost up though,” Inukashi said, still hanging out the doorway.

Shion laughed. “I don’t think I really have much of a ‘shift’.” And it was true. Shion just came down to help sometime in the morning and went back up sometime in the afternoon. Sometimes he came down in the evening, too. Though he hadn’t gotten paid yet. They hadn’t even established his wage, but Shion didn’t care much about the money. This job was more about having something to do than making a quick buck. He had a full scholarship to university anyway, and he didn’t want to pester Inukashi yet.

Inukashi rolled their eyes, and walked back inside.

In some ways, Inukashi reminded him of Nezumi. They were both pretty moody, and closed off, and weren’t afraid to call anyone out on their shit. But where Nezumi was confident and cool, Inukashi seemed paranoid and flighty. Inukashi was constantly on edge, even though they tried to hide it. Their eyes were always moving, and their motions were quick. They tended not to talk more than necessary, and never left any stranger alone with the dogs. Their actions intrigued Shion, and he couldn’t help wanting to know more of their story. Because, just like Nezumi, underneath their rough exterior, they were a good person.

Once Shion finished rinsing and drying the Safu-like dog, he took her inside and let her go. Since the shelter was small, and Inukashi trusted the dogs, during the day, they let them wander around the apartment. There were dogs lying in the front, dogs playing in the storage room, dogs licking themselves in the bathroom, even dogs sleeping in Inukashi’s own room. It was only at night when Inukashi locked them up in cages for their own safety while they slept.

Shion walked to the front and saw Inukashi kneeled on the ground, attaching variegated leashes around the necks of several dogs, who were all bouncing and barking in excitement. Despite their rowdiness, Inukashi had a calm, almost warm look on their face. Shion could tell Inukashi really cared for these dogs. He had never doubted that.

A spark of curiosity lit up Shion’s thoughts again.

“Hey Inukashi,” he said. “How did you get this job. I mean, own this shelter?”

Inukashi paused from their task, and the dogs paused in unison. A hard look came across their face, and they turned their harsh gaze on Shion. When they met his eyes, though, their gaze softened, just a little bit.

“Why do you care?”

Shion shrugged. “I’m just curious. You care so much for these dogs, and I wondered how that, um, came to be.”

“I wonder how you came to think it’s any of your business.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I know how that can be.”

A frown marred Inukashi’s face. They tugged a red leash around a curly haired dog, and said, to Shion’s surprise, “It’s not a pretty story.”

Shion was quiet, silently asking them to continue.

“Are you sure you want to hear it?”

Shion nodded and muttered, “Yes.”

Inukashi turned back to the dogs, and wrestled a leash on a white terrier. For a moment Shion didn’t think they’d actually answer, and he was about the leave, when Inukashi started talking.

“I grew up on the streets of West Block. Nezumi told you I was from there, right? Not a nice place, but I guess you know that. Anyways, I grew up alone. For the most part at least. There were a shit ton of dogs on the streets, begging for food and wandering around, just as…as desperate for food and shelter as I was. The dogs and I…we were kin, sort of…both tossed aside because no one wanted to take the fucking effort to care for us, because no one gave a shit, because we were too much work or not loveable or whatever. The dogs and I – we were the same…Shit, why am I telling you this? I sound like I’m bat-shit crazy, don’t I?” Inukashi forced a laugh, but wouldn’t meet Shion’s eyes.

Shion shook his head. “No, not at all.” He had the feeling Inukashi had been shut down when they talked about this before, and didn’t want to cause them any further hurt. And Shion was fascinated too. Growing up alone on West Block was tougher than anything Shion could imagine. “Go on.”

Inukashi looked reluctant to continue for a moment, but when their eyes met Shion’s again they went on. “Those assholes in West Block don’t think about anyone but themselves. They could never bother helping a poor kid out, or giving or scrap of their meal to a starving dog or nothing. But we made it, the dogs and I. There was one that I…was really close to. She was there from the beginning. And she was…was sort of like my mother, I guess,” Inukashi turned their face, but Shion had already seen the pink tint it had took. “Me and her made a good team. She had the best nose and the biggest bark, but she never bit anyone. Sometimes… we’d corner someone with a fat wallet, and I’d threaten them and she’d bark at them until they handed over money or food. Other dogs started to join our group, and in the night, we’d meet up with the other homeless people and we’d all sleep together, the dogs acting as pillows. They were always so warm. It wasn’t the best way to live, but I was happy. I had my ma and we were able to survive, and that was enough.”

Inukashi paused. The dogs – the ones from the shelter – had all lain down at Inukashi’s feet, and Inukashi lazily dragged a hand through the white terrier’s fur. “She’s dead now. My ma.”

“I’m sorry,” Shion said, and he truly was. “I bet she was a really wonderful mom.”

Inukashi looked surprised, but a tiny smile twitched on their lips. “She was.”

Inukashi took a deep breath, and pushed a strand of their dark hair out of their face. “The rest of it is pretty boring. The dogs were getting dirty and diseased, and finding a place to sleep was becoming harder and harder. But I finally earned enough money to buy this place.”

Shion raised an eyebrow, and Inukashi caught the hint. “Okay, fine, I _stole_ enough money to buy this place. Happy?”

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise,” Shion said. Inukashi scoffed, but continued talking. “It’s not much of a shelter, but it was all I could find. At first, I didn’t want to sell the dogs… I didn’t want them to be tossed aside again. But I had no choice if I wanted to be able to feed the rest of them and give them regular meals. I’m always sure to do a thorough background check on all my customers, of course! And I think, that maybe…some of them went to good homes. ‘Course, it’s still hard…but it’s better than before.”

As soon as he was sure Inukashi had finished their story, Shion walked over to them and knelt down and wrapped his arms around them. They froze, their body tense, but Shion just hugged them tighter. Shion could feel the dogs’ tails thumping against his legs as he held on to Inukashi. Eventually they relaxed, and wrapped their arms around Shion too and tucked their head into his shoulder. Their hands formed fists gripping the back of Shion’s shirt, and the dogs started whimpering. “I’m sorry for everything that’s happened to you,” Shion murmured in their ear. “You’ve been so strong, and I admire you so much for that.” Inukashi huffed in response, and pulled out of Shion’s grip. He thought he heard a faint ‘thank you’ murmured under their breath before he pulled away.

Shion stood up and brushed the dog hair off his pants. “Let me know if you ever need any help around here.”

Though the shock hadn’t quite faded from Inukashi’s face, they rolled their eyes and retorted, “You’re already helping, idiot.”

“See you tomorrow, then,” Shion said as he walked out the door.

“Yeah…see you,” Inukashi said from behind him.

Shion understood Inukashi’s source of paranoia now. If _he_ had been abandoned like that, there was no way he’d be able to trust anyone ever again. He was so proud of Inukashi for getting through so much shit, and he admired them so much. And Shion made a mental note to make an extra effort to help out. (And not to ask for a pay check). 

* * *

 

Later in the afternoon, Shion sat on the red couch with a book in hand. He wasn’t really reading it, just starring at the pages, in complete boredom.

He sighed. It wasn’t that the book was boring, (okay, maybe it was, just a little), but Shion ached to get up and _do_ something.

 _Maybe I can go for a walk,_ Shion thought. But looking outside and seeing the light fading from the sky, Shion decided it wasn’t a good idea. Nezumi had warned him to try and avoid walking around alone at night, and Shion thought that that was sound advice to follow.

He glanced at the clock on the wall: 5:23. Almost dinnertime. He walked into the kitchen and browsed the cabinet and the fridge, rummaging through all their food. Shion had discovered over the past week that Nezumi tended not to keep much food. The fridge held milk and various vegetables and a couple eggs. A half a loaf of bread sat on the counter next to a mountain of coffee containers. There were a couple of snacky foods in the cabinets, cereal and stuff – _oh_ – and an unopened box of spaghetti, right next to an also unopened jar of marinara sauce.

Shion wasn’t the best cook, and he had only made pasta a couple of times before, never with sauce. But he figured now was as good a time as any to perfect the dish.

Once he found a suitable pan, he filled it with water and set it on the stove, turning the fire on to heat up the water. Glancing at the directions – _cook for 9 minutes_ – Shion set down the box, and watched the water, waiting for it to boil. He knew the cliché “the watched pot never boils”, but it wasn’t as though he had anything better to do. Besides, he wanted this meal to turn out as good as it could possibly be; Shion knew it would make Nezumi happy, and Shion really loved to see him smile.

It would be even better since Nezumi didn’t have to work tonight. He had gone out earlier, and had told Shion he’d be back in time for dinner. Shion supposed he was running some errand – hopefully it was a trip to the grocery store to replenish the kitchen.

Maybe the next time Nezumi went out for groceries, Shion would ask him to buy baking materials – flour, baking powder, sugar, everything to make pastries. Shion wasn’t much of a cook, but living in a bakery for a good portion of his life had made him a pretty skillful baker. He already knew just what he would make for Nezumi and him: cherry cake. It was Shion’s favorite, and he knew the recipe by heart. He just hoped Nezumi liked cherries too.

_Blub blublublublub._

Shion looked into the pot, and sure enough, the water was boiling. So much for that old cliché. He ripped open the seal on the cardboard box and dumped the sticks of spaghetti in, careful not to splash himself with scorching water. He set a timer on his phone, and looked at the directions for the marinara sauce, wondering how much he should put in. After scanning the jar for directions, but seeing how he couldn’t find any, Shion shrugged and figured he’d just wing it. He wanted this dish to be perfect, but how hard could it really be?

He set the table (well, the counter) while the pasta boiled, and was stirring it again when he felt a buzz in his pocket.

 **Mom:** _How are you sweetheart? I’ve missed you so much, you’ve hardly called!_

Shion smiled. Well, if she thought calling every night was hardly calling at all, then Shion didn’t know what his mom would consider satisfactory.

 **To Mom:** _I’m fine. I’m a little busy though. Making dinner._

 **Mom:** _Oh that’s wonderful dear! But be careful!_

 **Mom:** _Use oven mitts and always watch the stove!_

 **Mom:** _Make sure to read the directions carefully_

 **Mom:** _and don’t burn yourself!_

While waiting for his mother’s flurry of texts, Shion stirred the spaghetti more and placed a strainer in the sink. Four more minutes.

 **To Mom:** _I’m being careful. Don’t worry._

 **Mom:** _I miss you, Shion. Can you come over sometime soon? You can bring Safu along if you like._

Shion was surprised she didn’t want to meet Nezumi, but he supposed she didn’t want to seem overprotective. Though she was already doing a pretty poor job of that already. Forcing Nezumi to contact her? He was terrified to know what they texted about…

 **To Mom:** _Of course. How about Wednesday? I’ll ask Safu too._

 **Mom:** _That sounds wonderful. See you then sweetie! Now get back to your cooking!_

 **To Mom:** : )

_Bing bing bing bing._

The timer went off on his phone just as he sent his last text. He hurriedly shoved his phone in his pocket and turned off the heat on the stove. (With oven mitts on,) He carefully brought the pot over to the sink and dumped the pasta in the strainer. A big cloud of white steam mushroomed out, making Shion lean back to avoid the heat. Once the cloud had mostly dissipated, Shion wrung out as much water from the pasta as he could, and dumped it back into the pot. He poked the noodles around with a fork and frowned; they seemed too sticky. But Shion brushed it off. The sauce would surely help with that.

Then Shion reached for the jar of sauce. It was one of those jars with the thin, tight lids that always hurt your hand when you opened them. Shion placed his right hand securely on the top and wrapped his left hand tightly around the middle. Once he found a good, secure position, he tugged with all his might on the lid, squeezing and pulling and yanking as much as he could to get the lid off. The cool metal dug into his hand, and Shion whined as he tried harder to pry it off.

“ _Ow_ ,” Shion moaned, temporarily taking his hand off the lid. He shook out his hand, _don’t mind the pain, don’t mind,_ and thought of a new approach. His eyes scanned the kitchen until he found a dishtowel. “Aha!” he grabbed it and covered the lid with the rough material, and tried again to open the damn jar.

The towel between his sweaty hand and the smooth metal cover increased the friction between the two, and Shion tugged harder and harder, his elbow sticking straight up in the air and his frail muscles straining in his arm. His left hand started to slip, loosing traction against the glass jar, he wouldn’t be able to hold it for much longer… and then he felt it – the lid was coming lose! _Almost there, almost there_ , he thought as his hand started to cramp, and the lid slid painstakingly slow –

_WHOOSH!_

The lid flew out of his grip through the air, smacking into a cabinet behind him as sauce flew out of the jar, up – and over – and splattered everywhere.

“Shit,” Shion whispered. There was red coating the kitchen. The floor was covered in it, the counter was layered in it, the fridge was splattered, and even Shion himself had marinara sauce dripping down his front. The only place the sauce didn’t seem to touch was the pot of noodles.

Just then the door opened. “ _Shit_ ,” Shion whispered, more furiously than before. _Now_ of all times was the moment Nezumi came home. And in he sauntered – _bebe_ bag in one hand and _Nordstrom_ in the other – and a look of shock passed over his face as he looked into the kitchen. Then he keeled over laughing.

“Hahaha – holy shit – _ha_ – Shion I…I can’t believe – haha! – I didn’t think you – _heh_ – were so…oh god…”

Shion stood there, motionless, still holding the virtually empty jar of sauce, for once without a smile on his face.

“I…heh heh – I’m sorry man,” Nezumi set his bags on the floor, hands shaking from trying not to laugh, his stomach fluttering as he forced back his laughter. He managed to hold himself up straight, covering his face with his hands, and he looked up at Shion once again. “Ah hell, no I’m not,” he sputtered, and was overwhelmed with another fit of giggles.

Shion thought of what he must look like – standing in the middle of the kitchen, stupidly holding an empty jar while the room was splotched with chunky red liquid. He cracked a smile; _I guess I must look pretty ridiculous._

“You just…” Nezumi said, finally regaining his composure, “…you look so shocked…and – and cute, like a puppy dog.”

Shion loosen up a little. The sauce felt wet against his chest, and was that sauce dripping down his cheek? “I guess,” he acknowledged, “I look pretty ridiculous, don’t I?”

Nezumi laughed and came closer, carefully avoiding the maze of red on the floor. He walked right up to Shion, stood directly in front of him, and said, “Definitely ridiculous.”

Then he stuck out his finger and dragged it up Shion’s cheek. Shion felt his cheeks light up as Nezumi’s piercing grey eyes followed his finger across the sauce on Shion’s face – _I must be as red as the sauce now._ Nezumi stopped just under Shion’s eye, and held a sauce-coated finger between their faces. He looked Shion right in the eye as he stuck his finger in his mouth and sucked it clean.

Shion gulped.

Nezumi laughed at Shion’s reaction, and then turned back around. “We should clean up this disaster. I’ll go get some supplies.” Nezumi headed out of the room, leaving Shion alone with his colossal mess once again.

So much for the perfect meal. 

* * *

 

Once they had wiped down every surface as best they could, (he could still see trails of red in the grooves of the tiled counter), Shion checked on the pot of noodles. In all the chaos, it had been left to sit in the pot on the stove. And it had dried out in the open air.

Shion sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“Want me to order takeout?” Nezumi asked, giving the fridge one final wipe down.

Shion nodded.

“I think we should do Italian tonight.” Nezumi said, and Shion smiled.

He turned around and put a hand on Nezumi’s shoulder and said, “I’d appreciate that.”

After the cleaning supplies was put away and the Italian takeout sat on the table, Nezumi and Shion slumped on the couch, exhausted from cleaning the giant tomatoey mess.

“I feel like Cinderella,” Shion commented.

“I feel like Annie,” Nezumi said, and started humming _It’s a Hard Knock Life_ under his breath.

“Only you would say that,” Shion said, and let the silence settle.

After a couple of moments he turned to face Nezumi and asked, “Why do you like musicals so much?”

Nezumi played with the fraying material on the couch and didn’t say anything for a while.

“It’s…complicated.”

“That’s okay. I don’t mind complicated.” Shion turned his full attention to Nezumi, his feet tucked under his legs and his hands on the edge of his knees, his chest leaning forward. Shion knew Nezumi was usually pretty reluctant to share personal information, but Shion found that if he gave him his undivided attention, Nezumi would eventually come around.

Nezumi looked him over once more, seeming to consider one last time if sharing was a good idea, before sighing in defeat and saying, “I…I had it hard when I was younger. There’s not much to tell, I was just a…a regular old orphan.”

Shion nodded, but something in Nezumi’s voice that told Shion this wasn’t the full story, that Nezumi was keeping something else hidden. But even though Shion was curious, he didn’t want to pressure Nezumi into telling him anything he didn’t want to.

“So I had a couple different foster homes, and none of them were very nice. They were all shitholes, actually, but that’s West Block for you. But I didn’t get to do a lot of fun stuff as a kid. See movies, go to arcades, play video games or play with any toys really.

“So I got bored pretty quickly. One night my foster parents took us to a bar – “

“A _bar_? How old were you?”

“Hmm, I’d say about ten. I know, not a great idea, but not my choice. Anyways we go to this bar, a couple orphan kids with their bum-ass foster parents, and the parents go to hell on the drinks, and they let us wander. Now this bar was a pretty big bar, and they had a stage and they were known for their shitty entertainment. Singers, dancers, comedians, bands, you name it. Well, the night I was there, an acting troupe was passing through, and they were performing at the damn bar. I don’t know why they hell they thought it was a good idea, but they had decided to perform an entire musical! Can you believe it! At a fucking bar, for a bunch of old drunks!”

Nezumi laughed almost fondly at the memory, and Shion couldn’t help but smile too. “So the troupe’s performing this musical, and that’s the first thing I hear when I walk in – that god-awful singing! Seriously, these guys sounded like dying rodents. But little me was entranced, since I didn’t get to hear a lot of music, and I pushed myself up to the front of the stage, and they’re, say, half way done by this point in the night. But I watched. And just seeing them up there, with their shitty signing and the over exaggerated acting, made me smile. And the way everyone else was watching them, gazes unwavering – I wanted that. I wanted people to look at me with so much admiration that they forget who I am.

“So when I got home I hacked into the neighbor’s wifi and looked up this musical. And I illegally downloaded it and watched it the next night. And, I don’t know, I really liked it. Weird, I know.”

Nezumi turned his attention back to the threads on the couch. Shion smiled. “That was really interesting,” he said. “But I have one question.”

Nezumi raised his eyebrow. “Shoot,” he said.

“Which musical was it?”

Nezumi smirked. “You know how you asked me the other day what my favorite musical was? If I had to pick a favorite, if you forced me to only watch one musical for the rest of my life, it would be this one.”

“But what is it?!” Shion demanded impatiently.

“ _A Chorus Line_ ,” Nezumi smiled. “And it’s –

“ _One. Singular sensation,_

 _every little step she takes –_ “

He sung the last part, loud and clear and really well. Shion had heard him sing in the shower once earlier this week, but he hadn’t realized how good Nezumi really was.

Nezumi stood up suddenly, hands on his hips. He spun around with dramatic hand gestures as he sung.

“ _One. Thrilling combination,_

_every move that she makes –_

C’mon Shion, don’t you know this song?” He held out a hand to Shion, inviting him to join in.

“I’ve actually never seen this one,” Shion admitted.

Nezumi froze. “What?” he deadpanned. “You’ve never seen _A Chorus Line_? And you live in _this_ apartment?”

Shion bit his lip. “Well – “

“That’s it! We’re watching it tonight! No excuses! Cancel any plans you have with your shitty friends, we’re watching Chorus Line _right now_ to remedy your soul!”

Shion laughed as Nezumi stomped over to his shelves and started scanning the DVDs for what he presumed was _A Chorus Line_.      

“I’ll get the food,” Shion said, but his words were lost to Nezumi’s focused, one-track mind. Once he found the disk, he hurriedly put it in the DVD player, turned off the lights, and joined Shion back on the couch.

“You better like it,” Nezumi whispered as he turned up the volume.

Shion grabbed their plates of spaghetti and gave them each a plastic fork and napkin. “I’m sure I will.” The he leaned over and poked Nezumi on the shoulder.     

Nezumi pushed his hand away and held a hand to his lips. In a low, menacing voice, he threatened, “Talk at all during this, and I’ll kill you.”       

Shion motioned zipping up his lips and throwing the key away. Nezumi smirked, and then both boys turned their attention to the glorious masterpiece that was _A Chorus Line_.    

* * *

 

[“…One singular sensation, every little step she takes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyZeGOsR9IA)  
_One thrilling combination, every move that she makes_  
_One smile and suddenly nobody else will do_  
_You know you'll never be lonely with you-know-who!”_

Shion and Nezumi belted out the last song of the show, dancing and laughing and gesturing like the dancers in the show (well, maybe not as good as them...). Nezumi grabbed Shion’s hands and spun him around the living room, and neither could keep a smile off their face.

 _“One moment in her presence and you can forget the rest_  
_For the girl is second best to none, son_  
_Oooh! Sigh! Give her your attention_  
_Do I really have to mention – “_

Nezumi twirled Shion around -

_“She's…_

caught his waist -

_"The…_

and dipped him low –

_"One!!!”_

Nezumi smiled down at Shion with a bright glint in his eye and a smile – a real smile – plastered across his face, and Shion couldn’t help but be entranced by his roommate. His eyes and his skin and his dark hair that hung down and tickled Shion’s nose – sometimes he forgot how beautiful his roommate was.

Suddenly Nezumi yanked him up, and flung them both on the couch as the brass band rang out of the speakers. Shion snapped out of his trance; he felt breathless, giddy, almost euphoric. One look at Nezumi was all it took to see he felt the same way too.

“That was a really good musical,” Shion giggled.

Nezumi smirked. “Told ya you’d like it.”

Shion took deep breaths trying to calm his beating heart. His gaze wandered around the room, until it came to the bags Nezumi had brought home.

The _Nordstrom_ one he would understand, but wasn’t _bebe_ a women’s clothing store?

“Hey Nezumi,” he asked, “Why did you go to _bebe_?”

Nezumi frowned. “None of your business, but I’ll tell you anyway. It’s for a friend. Her birthday is coming up soon.”

Shion felt a pang of jealousy. Nezumi hardly ever talked about his personal life, and Shion didn’t have the slightest idea to whom Nezumi could be referring to, but it made him wonder who this chick was that was so close to Nezumi that he would buy her something from such an expensive store.

“…Is she your girlfriend?”

“What?!” Nezumi sputtered. “No – she’s…she’s just a friend.”

“Oh.” The way Nezumi had said that made him suspicious. “Do you have a girlfriend then?”

“Do _you_?” Nezumi asked him back.

“Nope."

“Don’t swing that way?” Nezumi asked casually. Shion froze. Surely he hadn’t been _that_ obvious? And what would Nezumi think if he told him the truth?

Nezumi continued, “Don’t worry. I don’t care which way you swing. I’m bi, so if that freaks you out, just let me know.”

Oh. Oh…well, in that case… “I’m – I’m gay, actually,” Shion said softly, in almost a whisper.

Nezumi sneered, and teased, “I knew it. You can’t keep your eyes off me when I come out of the shower.”

Shion’s face turned bright red. “I – what – _no_ , it’s not – I don’t _do_ that – “

“Yeah, you do.” Nezumi picked at his nails. “I can’t blame you though, the view is irresistible.”

Shion frowned and smacked Nezumi lightly on the arm.

“I’m glad we got that all cleared up,” Shion said, with a little more strength in his voice. “But now that we have, I’m going to bed.”

As he walked into their room, Nezumi called, “Sure you don’t want to wait to _enjoy the view_ first?”

Shion leaned into their room and grabbed a pillow off his bed, walked back into the living room and threw it at Nezumi from across the room.

“ _Ack_ – hey!” Nezumi spat as he fumbled with the pillow.

“Nezumi, you _wish_ I enjoyed the view as much as you enjoy this one.” And with that final word, Shion strutted out the room, exaggerating the sway of his ass, and smirking at Nezumi over his shoulder.

Nezumi’s face was priceless; his lips slightly open and his eyes glued on Shion’s retreating form. Shion slammed the door behind him, the picture of Nezumi’s oogling face still fresh in his mind.

He snatched another pillow off the bed and shoved his face into it, in a poor attempt to muffle his hysterical laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I don’t know about you guys, but it takes me fucking forever to get water to boil  
>  ~~*I'm going to go back (eventually) and change Inukashi's *kennel* to *shelter* because I decided I don't like the word kennel; the connotation is too negative and it implies things about the way Inukashi runs their shelter that simply aren't true~~  
>  *If you haven't seen _A Chorus Line_ I highly suggest you watch it
> 
>  
> 
> _edited 11/7/16_


	6. Nezumi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR TRANSPHOBIC SLURS AND VIOLENCE  
> *please be cautious if this could trigger you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for your kind words and support! You guys all fucking rock, and I'm so thankful to have reader like you! Remember comments are always appreciated and I reply to every one.
> 
> This is where the story starts to pick up, and one mystery is finally solved.

Nezumi finished washing his mug and put it in the dishwasher. Shion’s cup still sat untouched on the counter, but Nezumi left it there, thinking that Shion might want to reheat it later.

It was almost a week after the marinara sauce incident, and so, almost a week after coming out to each other, and Nezumi was having fun teasing Shion. He flirted with him whenever he got the chance, sending him seductive looks, touching him more, and getting up in his personal space. He knew he should stop, since it would send the wrong message. Nezumi really did want to have some relationship with his roommate, whether it be boyfriends or fuck buddies, but he knew he couldn’t let that happen. Inukashi was right – it was dangerous for either of them to get too close to each other.

But Shion was just so cute and so fun to mess with. His face always turned red and he got flustered whenever Nezumi would brush Shion’s hair out of his eyes or stare at him while he ate – Nezumi just couldn’t help himself. And, of course, he wasn’t exactly known for his tact.

“Shion!” Nezumi called, walking into the bedroom. “Are you going to have your coffee?” He opened the bedroom door, but the room was empty.

“Shion?” Nezumi asked again, but there was no response. Just when Nezumi surmised that he had already gone downstairs, he noticed the bathroom door was open, and the light was on.

“Shion…?” Nezumi glanced in the bathroom, and his caught his breath at the sight he saw.

Shion stood in the middle of the bathroom, facing the mirror, in nothing but a pair of boxers. And Nezumi had to say, the kid looked good. He slim, but not too skinny. His skin was creamy and glowing, and his figure was lithe and small. But what drew his attention was the scar on his face that Nezumi had always been intrigued by – it didn’t stop at his cheek. It winded down his neck, like a thin, slithering snake, across his chest and back and down his leg, the red scar tissue contrasting to Shion’s pale, creamy skin. (It was kind of hot).

Shion whipped around, eyes wide in fright. “Nezumi…!” he whispered, his arms curling into his chest.

Nezumi was frozen, entranced by the red snake that encircled Shion’s pale body. Nezumi knew this had something to do with the ‘event’ that Rikiga had talked about. There was no way these scars and that event could be unrelated.

Shion turned his head aside, and sat down on the toilet lid, crouching over and crossing his arms over his chest, making himself smaller than he already was. “Please…go. I don’t…don’t…”

“Want me to see you like this? It’s a bit too late for that.” Shion looked so sad, so vulnerable like this, and as much as he wanted to seize the moment to flirt some more, or ask him how he got the scars, Nezumi knew he couldn't. He might’ve with someone else, but this was Shion. And for whatever reason, Shion was different. Nezumi couldn’t leave him like this, his arms wrapped around his knees, staring shamefully at the ground. Not only that, but it made him mad. It made him mad that someone as strong as Shion could act so weak and childish over a matter of looks.

“Is this why you always change in the bathroom?” Nezumi asked.

Shion nodded. “They’re ugly. _I’m_ ugly. And I didn’t…” Shion tucked his head into his arms. “I didn’t want you to see how ugly I really am…”

“Your scars aren’t ugly, Shion.” _Ugly? Oh Shion, you have no idea…_ Nezumi forced his thoughts away from that. He was still mad at Shion for his childishness, but he had to comfort Shion right now… _How exactly do I comfort him? Shit, this is what you get for being a heartless jackass all the time._ “Consider them...medals of honor.”

“…medals of honor?” Shion looked up, his expression forlorn and frustrated. “For surviving,” Nezumi clarified. _Was that okay?_ Nezumi thought his words were pearls of wisdom, but maybe Shion didn’t think so? Maybe that wasn’t what he needed right now. Should he go over and hug him? No, Shion didn’t look like he wanted to be hugged right now; Nezumi knew he wouldn’t if he were in Shion’s place.

Shion looked pensive for a moment, but he quickly turned dark again and scoffed. “No. This is my punishment.”

Nezumi frowned, and knelt beside Shion. _Shit. New tactic_. “Shion. Look at me.”

When Shion turned his head, Nezumi could make out the tears building up in his eyes, and his slightly trembling lip. Nezumi put a hand on his shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what kind of shit you went through, but obviously it wasn’t pretty. And I’m sorry about whatever it was. But you’re alive right now – you survived, and you’re not in whatever mess you were before. And that’s all that matters. You're out now. And these scars are your battle wounds. Medals of honor. Because you got through all of that. Would you really rather be back in whatever situation you were in, without the scars?”

Shion shook his head. His whole body was quivering now.

“Good.” Nezumi figured he should leave, since Shion didn’t seem in a good state, and Nezumi didn’t want to agitate him anymore. As he was leaving, he teased, “I think they’re quite charming, actually.”

Nezumi grinned at Shion’s red face and left him alone. Hopefully his words had been enough. Nezumi didn’t have a whole lot of experience with ‘comforting’ people, and he didn’t want to hurt Shion, of course. But Nezumi also knew Shion’s pink face and partial nudity were too strong a temptation for him to resist for long, so leaving was probably the best course of action for now.

* * *

 

Nezumi stood in front of the apartment, pausing a moment to look around. The sun was barely visible over the buildings at the end of the street. There were a few people out, and a considerable number of cars on the road, but the street was quiet. Dark shadows loomed across the street, and a cool breeze that soared down the street ruffled Nezumi’s clothes. Squaring his shoulders, he walked down the sidewalk, work-bag in hand, contemplating the events that happened earlier today.

Obviously Shion’s scars came from whatever ‘event’ Rikiga had been talking about. Initially, he guessed it had happened fairly recently, but seeing as his scars must have come after the incident, and Nezumi distinctly remembered seeing the red mark on Shion’s face way back when on the bus ride, the ‘event’ must have occurred before Shion moved to West block.

 _No fucking duh,_ Nezumi thought _. It must’ve been why he moved to West block in the first place._ Now that Nezumi thought it through, the whole situation seemed fairly obvious.

But 'when' the event happened wasn’t the only thing that concerned Nezumi. The way Shion had looked in the bathroom, fragile and vulnerable and scared – this was the side of Shion Rikiga had warned him about, the side of Shion that Nezumi would do his best to protect. These last couple years obviously hadn’t given Shion sufficient time to overcome his trauma. But maybe it was one of those circumstances where he couldn’t get over the ‘event’. Maybe the ‘event’ was an example of why Nezumi hated the phrase “time heals all wounds”.

The scars on his own back and the scars in his own mind already proved that wrong.

The buzz in his pocket rudely interrupted his thoughts, and with a frown, Nezumi pulled out his phone.

**1 New Message**

**Karan:** _How is Shion doing?_

Nezumi stopped walking and stood in the middle of the empty sidewalk. After the scene this morning, he didn’t want answer her straight away with some callous response. He thought about how he should answer for a minute: Tell her exactly what happened? Exaggerate so she won’t worry? Ignore it all together? As usual, Nezumi didn’t know how to reassure Shion’s panicky mother.

 **To Karan:** _There was a slight issue this morning, but Shion’s fine now._

That was true enough, right? Once the afternoon came around, Shion had come out of their room with a smile back on his face, immediately going downstairs to help Inukashi without a hint of sadness in his eyes.

Nezumi thought Shion would want to forget about the incident, ignore it and pretend that it ever happened like any other normal person would, but before he had left, he had thanked Nezumi.

_Shion had one hand on the door handle, ready to leave, when he turned back around, and looked Nezumi right in the eye, those big brown eyes flashing a hint of red._

_“Thank you, Nezumi,” Shion said without a waver in his voice. Nezumi looked up from his book and met Shion’s eyes; they shined with gratitude. “Your words were harsh…but they made me think. I am happy to be here right now, with you.”_

_Nezumi felt his face tinge pink, and a warm feeling bloom in his chest._

_“You’re wondering how I got the scars, though. One day I’ll tell you. Just…not right now.”_

_Shion looked down at the door handle. Nezumi didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t often people spoke to him with that much honesty, or so…directly. And it wasn’t often that people thanked him either._

_“I should go now,” Shion said, “Oh – and if I had known my body had such an effect on you, Nezumi, I might have shown you sooner.”_

_The door shut with a_ bang!, _leaving Nezumi alone in the apartment, red-faced and angry that Shion really did have that effect on him._

Before Nezumi could help himself, he sent another text.

 **To Karan:** _Where did Shion get his scars?_

While Nezumi waited for a response, he kept walking. It was getting dark out now, the sun lost in the west, but still filling the sky with a faint light. The route to his work wasn’t that far, but Nezumi preferred to take side streets. He had found the main streets a lot less enjoyable at this time of the evening.

Karan still hadn’t texted back by the time Nezumi made it to work.

 _I fucked up, I fucked up, I shouldn’t have asked about that._ But he had _really_ wanted to know, and who could blame him?

Nezumi took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair. Karan would have to wait. He had to work.

Before him loomed a building, only two stories in height, but nevertheless radiating an imposing presence. Or at least it would have had an imposing presence had Nezumi been standing at the entrance. If one were to look at the building from the front, they would see it for what is was – a high-end nightclub, even if it was strange one. It was partly a restaurant, partly a bar, and partly a showcase of a myriad of performances. Dancers, singers, comedians, musicians, and even burlesque on the weekends. And of course, what they were most well known for – performers like Nezumi himself, who practically summoned crowds. Nezumi could clearly picture the tiny entrance underneath the giant neon green scrawl of the club’s name: _Elyurias_. The arching windows would be blacked out, but the noise from inside would be clearly audible all the way down the street. Nezumi could hear it now – the high soprano of the preceding act, belting out some cliché pop song.

As it was, he stood facing the back, in a dark alleyway lit only by a wimpy yellow light above the metal door that read ELYURIAS BACK ENTRANCE – EMPLOYEES ONLY in peeling white letters. The building was tucked in the corner of two minor side streets, and made of concrete and tiled arches that made it look classy in the daylight but shady at night. In truth, it wasn’t that shady, but the aura it exuded, especially when it got late into the night, always put Nezumi on edge.

Nezumi opened the heavy door and went in, expertly navigating the dimly lit back hallway, past various doors with white titles proclaiming their purpose, avoiding the several people holed up backstage.

“Glad you showed, brat,” a brash voice greeted sarcastically. The club’s MC, a short, dark haired little shit named Levi, frowned at him from a distance, leaning against a wall with that pissed-with-the-world look Levi had mastered.

Nezumi rolled his eyes and curtsied. “You know you’d all be screwed if I didn’t.”

He continued along the hallway until he arrived at his destination, a door that read PERFORMER’S ROOM 2.

Nezumi chucked his bag inside and looked at his phone one last time before getting ready.

**0 New Messages.**

With a groan of frustration, Nezumi dropped his phone back in his bag and got to work.

The room was fairly small, but roomy enough for Nezumi to work comfortably. The ceiling was low, with only a sole yellow bulb lighting up the room. There was a canvas screen for him to change behind and a full-length mirror on one side of the room, and a humongous vanity and dresser on the other side. A stout leather couch sat in the middle of the room next to an equally stout coffee table.

Nezumi pulled out his outfit for the night: the new, long black [dress](http://www.bebe.com/Dresses/Cocktail-Evening/Asymmetric-Keyhole-Sleeve-Dress/pc/197/c/0/sc/206/64245.pro) with lace decals and a slit up on side he had just bought from bebe. He had immediately fallen in love with the dress as soon as he tried it on. Comfortable and sexy, his favorite combination. He changed quickly, pulling on a bra with fake gelatin boobs in them before throwing on the dress. He hated the bra, but it was a necessary pain. _There are worse things,_ he thought to himself while fiddling with the straps.

Then he got to work on his makeup. Foundation, powder, deep purple eye shadow, cat-eye liquid liner, fake lashes with an extra coat of mascara, and a splash of blush. Looking in the mirror and admiring his work, Nezumi reflected on how far he’d come. When he’d first taken this job, his makeup had been horrendous: his foundation had looked caked on and his blush had been too thick, his mascara clumpy and his eyeliner practically an inch away from his actual eye.

Satisfied with his makeup, he pulled out his wig from his bag. It was almost the same color as his own hair, a deep black that was almost blue, but with locks three times as long and bangs. The story of how he got it was nowhere near as pretty as the actual wig.

Nezumi tied his hair up, pinned back the stray hairs, and pinned it on. He looked in the mirror to make adjustments, pulling the wig slightly to the side, fixing his fake bangs, blending his blush a little more -

_Knock knock knock!_

Nezumi had worked here long enough not to be startled by the sudden pounding on the door. “Ten minutes ‘til show time, Eve!” Levi’s gruff voice called from outside.

“Yeah yeah I know!” he yelled back. He pulled on his bright red [pumps](http://www.bebe.com/Shoes/Heels/Nora-Cutout-Booties/pc/239/c/0/sc/242/79958.pro) looked in the mirror, posing in front of the mirror to inspect his appearance. _Looking pretty damn fine,_ he thought, _but something’s missing…_

“Shit!” Nezumi muttered, quickly pulling out his favorite red lipstick and smearing it onto his lips.

_Knock knock!_

"Come in!"

The door flew open and in walked his manager, a tall blonde man called Erwin who was surprisingly polite for someone who owned a club.

“Eve! You look wonderful tonight!” his manager doted. Nezumi rolled his eyes and adjusted his bra straps.

He cleared his throat and slightly adjusted the pitch of his voice as he answered with a smirk, “I always look wonderful. You know that.”

Erwin narrowed his eyes, but laughed along anyways. With a bit of experimenting, Nezumi had found that he could push his manager’s buttons pretty far without him lashing out. As much as the guy hated Nezumi’s flippant attitude, he and Levi loved the sales from nights when Nezumi performed even better.

“Of course, of course. You’re up now, so take the stage, and do your thing!”

Nezumi looked himself over once more in the mirror – yes, he definitely looked as feminine and fabulous as ever.

He made his way next to the stage, and watched as Levi introduced him to the crowd.

“And for the first time tonight, we have an act like no other. We know you people love her. Don’t bother denying it, we all know most of you come just for this bitch,” Levi droned, his expression as bored as ever.

“Levi!” Erwin hissed from behind stage. “Stick to the script!”

Levi rolled his eyes and continued, “Her voice will leave you entranced, and her figure will leave you _begging_ for a better look, you pervs. And she’s here all night! Please welcome the loveliest queen of them all – Eve!”

Nezumi walked out onto the stage, a low platform about fifteen feet wide, backed by classic deep red curtains. Levi waited by the lone microphone in the middle of the stage.

“Have a good performance, brat,” Levi whispered as he left the stage to Nezumi.

Tonight there was a large crowd, but that wasn’t surprising, since it was a Friday night. The main floor of Elyurias was large enough to hold two-dozen tables and a mini bar off to the side.

As Nezumi walked towards the microphone, head held high, with exaggerated hip movement, the murmurs in the audience quieted. He grabbed the mic and looked into the crowd, populated by some regulars and a fair number of men in business suites. There were a couple of women, too, crowded by the bar. Near the back, a table of a couple large men caught his eye. Unlike the rest of the audience, they didn’t seem too happy to be there.

Nezumi smirked. They’d change their minds soon enough.

[The music started.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY) Short guitar strums, followed by taps from a xylophone. He tapped his foot to the beat of the music.

_Click click click click._

“ _Now and then I think of when we were together_.”

The crowd fell completely silent, their gazes fixed on Nezumi. As much as he wanted to laugh at their foolish admiration, he held his expression neutral as he continued singing.

“ _Like when you said you felt so happy you could die_.”

He stared into the audience, making eye contact with as many people as he could. Even in the dim light he could see their blushes.

“ _Told myself that you were right for me,_

_But felt so lonely in your company._

_But that was love and it’s an ache I still remember_.”

His eyes met a hard gaze. It was one of the guys in that back table, and he had an ugly ass nose the size of a tomato. Nezumi sneered, brushing his hair out of his face as he began to sway his hips to the beat, rolling his hands and snapping his fingers on the off beats.

“ _You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness,”_

_…snap…snap_

_“Like resignation to the end, always the end,”_

_…snap…snap_

_“So when we found that we could not make sense_  
_Well you said that we would still be friends_  
_But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over.”_

He stared right through the man in the back, hand grazing up his hips to his chest.

“ _But you didn't have to cut me off!_  
_Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing!_  
_And I don't even need your love,_  
_But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough.”_

He locked his unwavering gaze on Tomato-nose, but the man’s rough stare didn’t waver either. Nezumi took it up a notch, sticking out his chest and his ass as he belted out the rest of the chorus.

 _“No you didn't have to stoop so low!_  
_Have your friends collect your records and then change your number_  
_I guess that I don't need that though_  
_Now you're just somebody that I used to know!”_

Nezumi winked at him, brushing his tongue along his bottom lip. Tomato-nose finally dropped his eyes. Satisfied, Nezumi continued teasing the rest of the crowd as he finished the song.

After several other songs, a break, and then several more songs, Nezumi finally finished his performance. His feet were sore and his wig was slipping. He could feel his mascara starting to run, and he bet his lipstick had long faded, too.

Erwin and Levi stood outside his dressing room. “Wonderful, Eve, just wonderful! I’ll see you tomorrow night!” Erwin complemented.

“Oh joy,” Levi added.

Nezumi was tired so he just flipped him the bird instead of responding with a usual condescending remark.

The door slammed behind him, and he quickly shed his wig and undressed, shoes flying off first, followed quickly by gelatin globs, and then his makeup. He put on his regular clothes and threw his work clothes in his bag. Without a goodbye to anyone backstage, Nezumi left out the back door, closing it behind him.

“Well well, if it isn’t Eve, ‘our favorite drag queen’,” a voice said from the shadows. It was the man from earlier, the Tomato-nose who didn’t immediately fall victim to Nezumi’s charms, with two of his cronies. The one on the left was tall as shit with a face like a gorilla, and the one on the left was shorter with a shock of white-blonde hair, like some sort of mad scientist. All three of them were butt ugly, Nezumi noted as they surrounded him in a semicircle, backing him against the back wall of Elyurias.

Nezumi knew what was happening. This was the draw back of his job, and this is why he didn’t want Shion to know his occupation. He was afraid of the impression Shion would have of him, but even more than that, he didn’t want to endanger Shion. Not everyone respects drag queens, and Nezumi had heard horrific stories of what happened to some who traveled un-armed – and to the people who traveled with them. So Nezumi always made sure he never came to work unarmed. His days surviving the streets of West Block had paid off before, and he only hoped those skills helped him now. He discreetly slipped his hand into his back pocket, pulling out his knife -

His wrist was suddenly snatched by a brutish hand, the knife flying out of his grip into the shadows. “Shit!” he hissed, cringing from the tight grip on his wrist.

“Heh,” the gorilla-face, the man holding him, snorted. “Where d’ya think your goin’, tranny?”

Nezumi glowered, his eyes turned dark. “Don’t talk to me like that.”

“Why not?” Mad scientist jeered. “You’re just a lowly shemale.”

Tomato-nose stepped close to him, and pressed his hand against the wall behind Nezumi. “What’re ya gonna do about it?” He ran his other hand close to Nezumi’s face.

Nezumi held back his rage and smirked; now was not the time to loose his head and make any rash moves. He steadied himself and warned, “You sure you wanna mess with this tranny, dickface?”

The men laughed, causing Gorilla’s grip on Nezumi’s wrist to slacken. _Here goes nothing._ He wrenched his hand out of Gorilla’s grip and socked Tomato-nose in the jaw.

The man tumbled to the ground, and before the others could react Nezumi kneed Mad Scientist in the balls.

“Fuck!” he spat, grabbing his crotch and running, but Nezumi had no time to gloat. Gorilla grabbed his shoulders and spun him around. The man’s hand pulled back in a tight fist and Nezumi crouched as Gorilla threw his punch. While his defense was down, Nezumi jabbed him in the stomach and kicked his knee, sending him sprawling on the ground.

Suddenly he felt a hand grip his ankle and his leg was yanked back. He smacked on the ground face first, his head meeting the pavement with a thud. His forehead stung and he felt blood trickle down his cheek.

“You aren’t gettin’ away that easily, bitch,” Tomato-nose muttered, his hand still tight around Nezumi’s ankle as he pulled him closer. _Get up get up get up_ Nezumi thought, _you can’t win a fight when you’re down._ A rush of adrenaline renewed his strength, and Nezumi kicked and kicked and kicked his leg until he felt a _crunch_ when his foot hit the man’s bulging nose. The grip on his leg suddenly slacked; Tomato-nose was knocked out.

His breaths were fast, and Nezumi knew he had to get out of there, but blow to his head made him dizzy and unstable. As he struggled to get up, a huge weight on his shoulders smashed him back against the ground. The cut on his face scratched the pavement, and it burned like a bitch. He was forcefully rolled over so he was on his back, and Gorilla crawled on top of him, trapping Nezumi beneath his ungodly weight.

 _Not this fuckwad again,_ Nezumi thought. Apparently a blow to the stomach wasn’t enough to stop this animal. He struggled to escape, wriggling around, but Nezumi was held firm to the ground, his arms pinned against his side by his attacker’s knees.

A fist suddenly connected with his face and a burst of pain lit up his cheek as Nezumi’s head was jerked against the pavement. His mouth filled with a coppery taste – more blood. Nezumi spat it out onto the pavement. His eyes were filled with the red of his blood against the black asphalt, but a glint of silver caught his gaze.

A new vein of hope opened up. Nezumi looked up at his attacker; Gorilla was smiling a terrifying grin. His eyes were crazed, as if he didn’t quite see Nezumi. Before the man could hit him again Nezumi tried another tactic.

“You’re looking fine tonight,” Nezumi said in a sing-songy voice. He softened his face and smiled seductively at the man, raising his eyebrow as he questioned, “Why don’t we stop this nonsense and have some fun?”

The man looked stunned, and Nezumi seized the moment to ram his knee against the man’s backside. He howled, and Nezumi twisted his arm out of the man’s hold and snatched the knife that he thought was lost. Gorilla, realizing his mistake, reached for the knife, but Nezumi swung it in a wide arc, cutting man's hand and splattering a thick stream of red.

“Ahhh!!” The man screamed, holding his bloody arm delicately against his chest. Still pinned under the man, Nezumi stabbed the knife down into his thigh with as much force as he could. Again the man howled in pain, toppling backwards and off of Nezumi. Quickly he pulled himself to his feet. Without looking back, Nezumi grabbed his bag and ran as fast as he could home to his apartment.

* * *

 

His lungs heaved and his face burned as he approached the apartment. No one else was out, and the street was so quiet that Nezumi heard the buzz from his bag. Suddenly remembering the idiotic text he sent earlier, Nezumi pulled out his phone. There was just one message, only three words long.

 **Karan:** _Ask him yourself._

 _Another time, maybe,_ Nezumi thought. There was no way he’d ask Shion about his secrets when he knew he wouldn’t even be able to tell Shion what had happened tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *User monsterr, you were totally fucking right, so congrats to you, my friend!
> 
> *Just to be clear, I know nothing about nightclubs or drag queens, so if there’s anything weird or wrong or offensive with any of this, PLEASE TELL ME. PLEASE. I WANT TO FIX IT IF IT’S WRONG.
> 
> *Was that a cameo by a couple of Scouting Legion nerds? Why yes, yes it was. I didn’t want to create OCs for this because I’m lazy, so I thought I’d add some Attack on Titan to the party.
> 
> *Any constructive criticism is highly appreciated! Especially for that fight screen. Generally I suck as action sequences so any comments are appreciated!
> 
> *Oh, and one more thing - why Somebody That I Used to Know, you ask? I don't fucking know, I answer. I'm highly uncultured when it comes to popular music. I don't know if I'll write another scene when Nezumi sings, but I welcome any song suggestions you guys have!
> 
> _edited 11/7/16 >/i>_


	7. Shion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's shorter! Things are going to start to pick up again soon, though...so if you haven't read Bus Ride yet, (the prequel to this), I highly suggest you do! Or else things might get confusing.
> 
> Thanks for reading, you guys are the best! You're comments from last chapter made me really happy and encouraged me to keep writing, even though I was down this week, so thank you!

That night as Shion tucked himself into bed, his fingers ghosted over his scars. The events of the day had been weighing heavily on his shoulders, though he did his best to hide it.

 _Medals of honor?_ After much deliberation, Shion still wasn’t sure he could call them that.

But he hadn’t been lying when he thanked Nezumi; his words really had given him consolation. Just knowing that someone like Nezumi – who was one of the toughest people Shion knew – thought _he_ was strong gave Shion confidence.

He turned over in the bed, pulling the covers over his shoulder. This morning’s incident wasn’t the only thing weighing on his mind, though. Nezumi’s words were light as a feather compared to the conversation he had had with his mother the other day.

The visit home had started out fine. Safu had met him outside the apartment on Wednesday afternoon and they had taken a bus down to West Block. On the ride there, Safu interrogated Shion for more information about Nezumi, but soon after they settled into light conversation about their anxiousness for university. Their first term would be starting in only five weeks.

Shion’s mom greeted them with monster hugs and fresh baked cinnamon rolls. His mom had been ecstatic to see Shion again, a feeling that was very much reciprocated. He liked his current living conditions, but it was a relief to see his mother after the past few weeks. Living without her had been surprisingly easier that he had expected it to be, but he missed waking up to the smell of warm pastries and coming home to the refuge of her warm hugs.

They all talked for an hour or so, exchanging stories about their lives: Shion’s mom about crazy customers in her bakery, Shion about the plights of Nezumi and Inukashi and their dogs, and Safu about her internship. Apparently, (to everyone’s surprise), she had garnered an internship at a local theater of all places, assisting the producers. Or, as Safu put it, fetching their coffee.

Soon Safu had to leave, and Shion was left alone with his mom. Before the door even shut behind Safu, her face darkened.

“Mom,” Shion said, coming to her side and holding her shoulders. “Are you okay?”

Karan’s face looked hollow, her eyes empty fixed on a distant point. Her wrinkles suddenly grew more prominent and it seemed as though a weight had been added to her shoulders, dragging her down and exhausting her.

“…Yoming called today,” she whispered hoarsely.

“What?” Shion froze, withdrawing his arms from around his mother. His heart was caught in his chest, but he refused let the feeling overtake him. He didn’t even know anything yet. “Why…why did he call?” It might not have been anything serious…Yoming called all the time, flirting with his mother. That was probably all this was about.

Resting her hand against her mouth, she whispered, “It wasn’t good news.”

Yoming hadn’t tried flirting with his mother in years; he knew better. Shion waited for her to continue. Evidently she had been putting on an act while Safu was here, and Shion knew it must have been quite a task to keep her tumultuous emotions hidden. Shion knew why she wanted to leave Safu out of this mess. God knows they didn’t want to get her involved with their affairs any more than she already was.

“…it’s about Number Six.”

Shion seized up, scrunching his eyes and wincing. He breaths quickened, and his heart beat loud in his chest _, thump, thump, thump_ against his ribcage. He had known what it would be was about, this was the only reason Yoming would call, denying it had been stupid. But knowing wasn’t the same as hearing it said aloud.

“Shion? Are you okay?” Karan asked softly. She placed her hand in Shion’s, and rubbed her thumb in circles against his palm. His heart was still racing in his chest, his hands shaking and his breaths quick. “I know it’s hard to hear, but…”

 _Calm down_ , Shion told himself. _You have to be here for Mom_. He took a deep breath, and let it out, gripping his mother’s hand for support as he calmed himself down.

_In, out. In, out._

His heartbeats slowed down and he forced himself to breath normally. “I’m fine,” he reassured his mother. He took her hand and led her to the couch. “Let’s sit down while you tell me.”

The visit hadn’t continued for very long after that. They had sat in silence for a while, holding and comforting each other, while his mother explained the whole situation. He had stored the information in the back of his mind, at least until it became relevant. He didn’t want this new information to needlessly ruin his life so suddenly.

_Creak…creak…_

Shion shot up, gripping his covers in his hands. _Where had that come from?!_

_Creak – squeak!….thump._

The creaking sent shivers up his spine. The noises seemed to be coming from…upstairs.

“Mmmmhhhhhh yeah…” _Thump. Thump._

Oh god. Was this...the other neighbor Nezumi talked about?

 _Sqeak. Creaaak…”_ Oh, fuck yeah! Right there!”

Mortified, Shion laid back down, doing his best to cover his ears with his pillow. He never met the upstairs neighbor, and Shion wasn’t completely sure why, especially since he had been here for a couple weeks already, but he had heard…things about that neighbor from Nezumi and Inukashi’s whispers. Things that would justify (to his embarrassment) the sounds he heard.

“Fuck! Ahhhhh…ooooohhh – “ _Thump. Thump thump._

The pillow wasn’t doing much good. Shion could feel his face burning despite the coldness of the room.

Shion sighed and flipped around on his stomach, and piled his blankets over his head. Even though he was dead-tired from helping Inukashi all day with the dogs, it seemed he wasn’t going to get much sleep tonight.

* * *

 

The creaking of a door stirred Shion out of his sleepy daze. Since the more… _intimate_ noises were no longer audible, he assumed Nezumi must be home. The door creaked again, followed by a dull thud. Footsteps sounded outside of the bedroom door, and then the door opened and Nezumi’s figure withdrew suspiciously quickly into the bathroom before Shion could even say hello.

The door shut behind him and the trickling of running water began. Curious, Shion untangled himself from the sheets and knocked on the door of the bathroom.

“Nezumi…? Are you okay?” Shion whispered.

The running water stopped. “…I’m fine,” Nezumi muttered. His voice was strained. “Go back to bed.”

Something seemed off. But not wanting to overreact, Shion withdrew his hand from the door, gazing unsteadily at the floor as he walked back to his bed.

That’s when he noticed a dark spot on the carpet, barely visible in the moonlight from the window. He traced a trail of them back to the bedroom door. _Blood._

Shion whipped around and threw open the bathroom door.

“Holy shit – “ Nezumi flinched as Shion charged in.

“Oh my god…” Shion mumbled. Nezumi was a mess. His clothes were rumpled and his hair tangled, falling out of its usual ponytail. Dark red blood spilled down his face from a cut above his right eye, dripping into his eye and down along his jaw, smudged on his cheeks where Nezumi had started wiping it off with the equally red washcloth in his hand. A black and blue** bruise the size of an apple stained the left side of his jaw, already swelling and yellowing around the edges. His eyes were red and his face was pale, but the way he held himself, strong and stoic as ever, told Shion this was not the first time this had happened.

Without warning Shion felt a burning rage overtake him. It started as a spark in his gut, and whisper of _your friend is hurt_ that ignited a flame; it started small but grew rapidly, fuelled by empathy and guilt, spreading from his stomach to the tip of his toes. It turned his blood hot and his conscience cold, as the question _Who did this?_ became the only thought in his mind. An icy wind of resolve – the promise to punish Nezumi’s attacker, to make them pay for their atrocity – blew away any rational thought left in his cold conscious, and his burning heart turned to steel.

“What happened?” Shion hissed, his face contorting into a snarl and his fists clenched at his sides. “Who did this to you?”

Nezumi looked surprised by Shion’s response, but he came back to his senses quickly and responded quietly, “I fell.”

“Bullshit.”

Nezumi sat down on the edge of the bathtub, and let out a long, deep, sorrowful sigh. “I can’t tell you.”

Shion held his ground, planting his feet firmly on the ground. His face twisted into a deep frown. “ _Bull. Shit_.”

Nezumi glared fiercely at Shion, his stormy grey eyes cold, but also sad. “I want to, but I can’t. Not right now.”

“Who did this to you?!” Shion yelled. _I’ll make him tell me,_ Shion thought. _He has to tell me who did it, so I can find them and make them pay._ “How dare they do this to you! I – they need to pay!”

“Shion – “ Nezumi raised his hands in surrender. “You don’t know what I might’ve done to deserve this – “

“I don’t care!” Shion yelled. It was true; he didn’t care. Shion knew Nezumi didn’t have the best character, but Shion also knew he never would’ve done anything to warrant this punishment. And even if he had earned it…“…They shouldn't have hurt you.”

Shion didn’t care. Nezumi was more important than anyone he might’ve hurt.

They stared at each other, each one’s gaze unwavering, Nezumi’s eyes filled with a plea to give up and Shion’s filled with intent to kill. Suddenly Nezumi groaned, and held the washcloth to his face again.

Whatever had snapped inside Shion came together again. His face softened, and his anger morphed into worry. Nezumi was hurt, he was in pain, and Shion was yelling at him. What kind of friend was he?

“I – I’m sorry,” Shion said. Shion reached for the cloth. “Let me help you – “

 “No,” Nezumi commanded firmly, pushing his hand away. “I can do this myself.”

Shion put his hands on his hips. “Do you even know how to treat these wounds?”

Nezumi rolled his eyes and muttered, “’Course.”

“Then how would you treat the cut?”

“Um…wash the blood away and stick a bandage on it?” Nezumi asked with a smile.

Shion sighed. “I’m helping you. No buts.”

Nezumi pouted. “Fine,” he spat.

Glad to have a distraction from his outburst _(what the hell was that?),_ he took the cloth from Nezumi’s dirty hand and rinsed it out in the sink, washing all the blood out. He had Nezumi hold his head under the shower for a few minutes to clean the wound properly and wash the blood away from his face. Then he knelt in front of Nezumi and carefully wiped away the remaining trails of blood, around his delicate jaw and strong cheekbones, being extra careful as he cleaned the cut out. He found little bits of dirt in the cut, and carefully wiped them out. He could tell Nezumi was trying to be stoic, but he winced every time Shion touched the wound.

“You’re hurt. I know you’re in pain, you don’t have to hide it, ‘Zumi.” Shion told him as he held a clean cloth against his face.

Nezumi raised his eyebrow. “’Zumi’?”

Shion blushed, and didn’t respond. It had just…slipped out. And now he was embarrassed. Nezumi probably didn’t like nicknames…

Much to Shion’s surprise, Nezumi smiled. “I’m not a fan of nicknames, but I guess I can deal with that one. It’s shorter and quicker to say than my full name, which makes it more convenient.”

“Yeah,” Shion said. “That’s it.” He hurriedly went back to cleaning Nezumi’s wound, purposely avoiding eye contact.

A silence settled between them, and it seemed to stretch out as the seconds slipped by. The longer Shion treated Nezumi’s face, cleaning and icing and disinfecting, the more distant he seemed. Shion knew his outburst had pushed Nezumi away, and he was ashamed for it. His calm attitude was one of the few things he prided himself on, and he rarely lost his head. But that outburst…there were only a few times Shion had ever gone off like that. And none of them had been as unwarranted as this. It had all been over some guy he had just met – just a roommate. Sure, Shion was defensive of his few friends, but to go off like that was unusual for him in any circumstance. But, for some reason, Shion felt he was justified. He felt bad about it, but…if Nezumi would just tell him what happened, and who did this, he would do it all over again.

Shion was just finishing bandaging Nezumi’s head when the silence finally became too much. His thoughts were a mess and the silence only egged on his frustrating emotions. He needed a distraction. Desperate for something to talk about, Shion asked, “Nezumi, what do you want to do with your life?”

Shion pressed the bandage carefully against Nezumi’s forehead while he waited for an answer.

“Dunno,” Nezumi muttered, looking at his fingers with a neutral expression on his face.

Shion smirked. “Liar.”

“What, you think I have some dumb dream I want to achieve? Do you really think I’m that deluded?”

“Yes.”

Nezumi was silent for a moment. Shion knew he had won. After watching all those musicals, there was no way Nezumi didn’t have a dream, even if it was tiny and dusty and he kept it under lock and key. “Fine. But you first.”

Smiling, Shion began, “I thought that was pretty obvious. I want to be an ecologist and help save the earth. Climate change is such a serious issue and hardly anyone is doing anything about it. The government is no help; really, right now, it harms more than helps. There are cities that’ll be flooded and overpopulation and famine and the destruction of beautiful environments and crazy weather – like those fires that swept the outskirts of L.A. several years ago, do you know about that? Dozens of people died!”

“Yeah,” Nezumi whispered. “I know.”

“And yet, even with all this evidence, no one is doing anything! If no one does anything, I bet that in a couple hundred years, we’ll be forced to fight another world war, and with nuclear technology, we’ll end up obliterating most of the earth, leaving barely any place inhabitable. Imagine, only five, maybe six hospitable places left on Earth to live in…”

Shion took a breath. “So I want to change that. But…I don’t really know how. So I have to learn. And I think the best way to start is by learning about ecology, about the earth and how everything works. It’s an added bonus that it’s super interesting…but I wouldn’t care if it _was_ incredibly boring, as long as I could learn how to fix this problem.”

He vaguely recalled talking to Nezumi about this before…he remembered the inquisitive look Nezumi gave him when he spoke, just like the look he was giving him now. He wondered if Nezumi remember _. Probably not._ If he hadn’t remembered Shion in the first place, there was no way he’d remember this conversation. “That’s the kind of noble dream I’d expect of someone as stupidly noble as you.”

Shion laughed. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Nezumi scoffed. “Of course you would.”

Shion started cleaning up the floor, the scattered first aid supplies and towels and bandage wrappers. “What about you, ‘Zumi?”

“Like hell I’m telling you after hearing yours. You’d laugh…and you’d probably be right to…”

“I promise I won’t.”

Nezumi considered this for a moment, and then sighed, and said, “I want to be on Broadway.”

Shion smiled – he wasn’t surprised in the slightest. “That’s great!”

“No it’s not!” Nezumi snarled. “It’s stupid and impractical and totally improbable.”

“I don’t think so,” Shion said. “You’re a great singer!”

Nezumi rolled his eyes. “Me and every other Broadway hopeful out there. And from where I’m from, there’s not a chance I’d make it. It’s a stupid dream. Now you know. So drop it, okay?”

Shion tucked the first aid kit under the sink and stood up. He held out his hand to Nezumi, who hesitantly took it. Shion helped him stand up, but didn’t let go of his hand. “I don’t think it’s a dumb dream.”

“Shu – “

“Shh.” Shion placed a finger on Nezumi’s mouth, effectively silencing him and turning his face pink. They were quite close, Shion realized. Ignoring the fluttering of his heart, Shion went on. “I think you’re a wonderful singer. I bet you can dance, too. I know it’s really hard to get on Broadway, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying. I don’t know what you’re doing with your life right now, and I’d really like to know, but I have a feeling that whatever it is, it’s not what you want to be doing right now. And I know that it’s hard…but please don’t give up. I know it’s cliché, but…I feel like you’ve given up before you’ve even started. Please don’t give up. We should all have a dream. Even if it’s out of our reach, we should keep trying to grab it. Because you never know if it’s closer than it looked unless you try reaching for it. And, well, what else is there?”

Nezumi was frowning, and at the end of Shion’s little speech, he moved Shion’s hand from his mouth and held it tight.

“Survival. That’s what else there it. If we don’t survive today, we can’t achieve our dreams tomorrow. But we can live without dreams. There are more important things than dreams, Shion.”

“I – “

“Shh.” Nezumi put his whole hand over Shion’s mouth, and it was his turn to blush. “If I had kept trying to achieve my dream, I probably wouldn’t be here right now. But you know what? I’m happy anyways. You can be happy even if you don’t achieve your dreams.”

Nezumi’s hand drifted to the side of Shion’s face, cupping his chin, but Shion still remained speechless. He looked right into Shion’s eyes, his bright grey eyes as sharp as silver in the harsh bathroom light.

“Survival comes first, but you need something to keep up your will to survive…for some people that’s dreams I guess. But for me, there are lots of things that keep me alive and wanting to live another day…food, musicals, music, Shakespeare, friends, lovers…”

They were inches apart, as the stared at each other and leaned closer. He could feel Nezumi’s warm breath on his lips, only adding to the heat of the fire igniting his veins once again, though this fire burned softer and warmer. Nezumi’s hands were cold and delicate against his skin, guiding his chin closer to Nezumi’s, and Shion let his eyes slide closed…

Suddenly the cold disappeared from his face and the warmth of Nezumi’s body near his faded. Nezumi jumped back and faced away from Shion, his hand covering his mouth.

Shion’s face turned bright red, the fire in his veins extinguished by embarrassment. “I – “

“I’m sorry,” Nezumi whispered. “I…I’m tired. I should go to bed.”

Shion felt lightheaded; the past minute seemed like a blur. Had they…? No, there was no way that had almost happened… “Okay…I should, too.”

Nezumi turned off the light, and they tucked themselves into bed in silence.

Shion’s thoughts spun around endlessly in his head, in a stormy, jumbled whirl, and he couldn’t make sense of any of them. Shutting his eyes, Shion said, “’Night, ‘Zumi,” and forced himself to sleep before he could hear a response.

* * *

_The room is small and dark and stuffy and it feels like a sweaty hand is gripping him and the floor goes creak creak creak and the door opens and –_

_“NO!!” he screams when the light burns his eyes expect where it is sucked away by a black silhouette standing before him and he’s so tall and big –_

_“Not again…” his mother is in a corner and she’s crying and her dress is ripped and he doesn’t know why but now he wants to cry too._

_There’s a snake in the silhouette’s hand and he’s afraid it’ll bite him so he backs up into the room but it’s too small and he can’t get away. “Please…go away! No…!”_

_The silhouette is looming over him and he’s swallowed by darkness as the door closes –_

“STOP!” Shion shouts. He’s in his bed, and his sheets are sticking to his legs. He’s sweating, and breathing hard, and he glances over at Nezumi’s bed – he’s still asleep – before sitting up and steadying his breath.

_In, out. In, out._

Shion looks out the window. The sun isn’t out yet, but the sky is bright in the East. Morning will come soon, so Shion gets himself up and starts his day, thankful his screams didn’t wake Nezumi. How ironic it is that he wants to avenge Nezumi when he couldn’t even stand up for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like Nezumi was OOC this chapter...and Shion a little, too...what do you guys think?
> 
> **or was it white and gold?


	8. Nezumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been so supportive, thank you so much! This chapter's a bit of filler, but I promise it's going to get good soon!

The first thing that hit Nezumi in the morning was the pain. The moment he realized it was morning, he wanted to go right back to sleep. His head pounded and his jaw ached and his ankle throbbed and he was sore all over. His eyes were crusted shut and he blinked them open, only to be blinded by the sunlight shining in the room.

Moaning, Nezumi pulled his covers over his head and curled into a ball, trying to ignore the aches in his shoulders and the pounding in his head. He tried go back to sleep, but it was too late. The events of last night – the singing, the fighting, and talking to Shion afterwards – all came back to him. Now that his brain was awake, there was no way his body would go to sleep.

“Shit…” His face probably looked that way right now – like shit. Nezumi didn’t even know if they’d let him work looking like this. There was only so much makeup could do to a battered face.

But what worried him more was Shion. Last night, Nezumi had seen a side of Shion he never would have believed existed. His eyes had flashed red as he spoke, but not the warm, inviting fireplace red they usually did. This time they had been red with malice. He had been so cold that he was almost…frightening. He guessed it was something having to do with his past, but it was strange that Shion got so mad over someone hurting Nezumi. But that was just because Shion was loyal to his friends, right? He seemed the loyal type, and that was probably all it was.Nezumi just hoped he would never see Shion like that again.

With a deep sigh that was really more of a groan, Nezumi pulled himself out of bed and walked into the bathroom. His ankle felt tender, so he sat down on the toilet seat and examined it. There was a big, hand shaped bruise encircling his ankle. He thought back to last night –

_He felt a hand grip his ankle and his leg was yanked back. He smacked on the ground face first, his head meeting the pavement with a thud. His forehead stung and he felt blood trickle down his cheek._

_Tomato-nose spat, “You aren’t gettin’ away that easily, bitch.”_

Nezumi pulled his pant leg over the bruise. He didn’t want to chance another fit of rage from Shion.

He stood up and looked in the mirror. His left cheek was yellow and sallow around the ugly bruise on his jaw, and a reddish brown patch of blood peeked through the bandage Shion had placed over his forehead. His hair was tangled and greasy (although that was his normal bedhead). His eyes were bloodshot and his face was still groggy with sleep, and his body sagged with weariness.

_You’re alive, and that’s all that matters._

The aroma of coffee suddenly caught his attention and Nezumi followed the scent into the kitchen. Shion was there, sitting in the living room, drinking coffee and typing on his laptop. Another mug of steaming coffee was waiting for Nezumi on the table in front of the couch.

“Good morning, ‘Zumi,” Shion said, looking up from his laptop. “How’re you feeling?”

Nezumi cringed. Despite what he’d told Shion, he was not a fan of that little nickname. But Shion liked it for whatever reason, and he couldn’t really refuse Shion. “Like shit. What’d you expect?”

Shion gave a slight smile. “I put out some painkillers and a glass of water for you in the kitchen. It’d probably help to take them.”

Nezumi nodded.

“Then I can change your bandage. And you should probably ice that bruise again. You aren’t hurt anywhere else, right?”

Should he tell Shion about his ankle? He imagined Shion’s face if he found out Nezumi had lied to him…

“Just a little bruising, nothing to freak out about,” Nezumi forced a laugh. “You should have seen the other guys…”

Shion’s face went pale. Shit.

“Where?” Shion asked quietly.

Nezumi figured it was best to get it over with and show him. He hoisted his leg on the table and pulled up his pant leg. The blue and green handprint was clearly outlined against his pale leg. Shion reach out and ran his hand delicately over Nezumi’s ankle, soft as a whisper. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but he was fidgeting and his mouth kept twitching.

“I’m fine,” Nezumi assured Shion. “It’s no big deal. You don’t need to freak out.”

Shion didn’t say anything. His hand slipped back into his lap, and his other hand brought his coffee to his mouth. He didn’t once look at Nezumi.

“I’m going to take those painkillers.” Nezumi hurried off to the kitchen.

“Make sure to ice your ankle, too,” Shion muttered as he walked away.

He wolfed down the painkillers and got a bag of frozen peas to hold against his face. He went to get his coffee, but Shion was blocking his path out of the kitchen.

His expression was neutral but his eyes seemed dead. “What happened last night?”

Nezumi could tell Shion wouldn’t settle for no response. “Fine. You caught me. I got mugged.”

Shion looked right into his eyes, and it took everything in Nezumi’s power not to look away. If he did, Shion would know he was lying.

“Why couldn’t you tell me that last night?”

“I…I was embarrassed,” Nezumi allowed his gaze to fall, and he slumped his shoulders. “I didn’t – I didn’t want you to know that…that I had been weak.”

He squeezed his eyes shut sat down on a stool. Nezumi tended to be a very straightforward person, blunt to the point of rudeness, but he often found use for his skills of deception. Lying to others never bothered him before. Usually it was for their good as much his own. But now Nezumi felt guilty. It made him feel physically sick in his gut, threatening to make him spill the truth. Guilt tasted like rotten apple cores and sickly sweet fruit that made his stomach turn. This had never happened before – but then, he had never deceived someone he cared about before.

Shion sat on the stool next to him and set a first aid kit on the counter. He grabbed Nezumi’s right cheek and turned his face toward him. He said, “You don’t need to be embarrassed. I don’t think you’re weak. You came out of that with only a few injuries. I think you’re incredibly brave and strong. You don’t need to be embarrassed to tell me things like this.”

Shion started to remove the bandage from Nezumi’s head. The guilt gripped his heart again, clenching it tight and causing his conscious to waiver. He was ashamed to lie to Shion – but that was better than him knowing the truth, right?

He didn’t saying anything in response, and Shion worked in silence as he put a new bandage on. Once he was done, he smiled at Nezumi and said, “Have you called in to work yet?”

“Eh?”

Shion frowned. “There’s no way you’re going into whatever-the-hell-your-job-is like that.”

 _You don’t say,_ thought Nezumi. A bruised and cut up face kind of ruined the seductress effect. (For most people, at least.)

Shion handed him his cell. “Call them.”

Smirking, Nezumi pushed the phone back to Shion. “I’ll use my own phone, thanks.”

Nezumi went into their bedroom and closed the door and called Elyurias. It was weird that Shion had offered Nezumi his own phone, but Nezumi saw right through him. _That little snitch,_ Nezumi thought. _I bet he thought he could find out where I worked if he had this number –_

“Elyurias Club and Bar. Hi, I’m Petra, how can I help you?”

“It’s Eve. Hand me to Erwin.”

“Just a sec.”

Nezumi waited while Erwin came to the phone.

“Eve? Are you alright?”

“See, Mr. Owner, that’s just the thing. My face looks like shit, so I can’t come in for awhile.”

“What happened?”  
“I got mugged.”

The line was silent for a moment before Erwin asked, “Did you really get mugged? Or was it  - ”

“I got fucking mugged, okay?” Nezumi knew he should tell Erwin what had happened, but it was against his nature to rely on others like that. _Besides, those guys probably won’t be back after feeling the wrath of Eve,_ Nezumi thought triumphantly.

“Fine. Just know that if it was what I think it was, there are lots of people here who would stick up for you. Petra’s almost got her law degree and Levi knows a group of kids who’d be happy to get back at them – “

“Goddammit Erwin I just got jumped! Lay off!”

“Okay, suit yourself. How long are you going to be gone?”

Nezumi contemplated how long it would take for the bruise on his face to fade. He could always cover up the one of his ankle with boots and the cut on his face with his bangs. “Er, a few days?”

“Take the week off. Knowing you, it’s probably worse than you think it is.”

“Fine. But no more than a week.”

“See you then, Eve.”

Nezumi hung up. A week of no work, huh?

Nezumi opened up the door of the bedroom, only to come face to face with Shion.

“I, um, I was wondering if Safu could come here?” Shion had a guilty look on his face. _That little snitch had probably been listening in!_

Nezumi narrowed his eyes. Shion continued, “Well, I, um, couldn’t help but hear that you were going to be off for a week? So I thought it’d be a good time for Safu to come, since we can all have dinner together? She can come, right? I asked you a couple weeks ago and - ”

“Fine. Whatever.” Nezumi remembered Shion talking about this Safu person. It seemed they were really close, but she seemed…overprotective, like Karan.

“Um…okay?”

Nezumi walked past Shion into the other room and grabbed his coffee. It had stopped steaming and, taking a sip, he found it was now lukewarm. Maybe Safu’s visit would make the week interesting. After all, there wasn’t much to do if he didn’t have work.

“Er, when would be a good time? Like, what day? Is Tuesday okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll text her now. She can’t wait to meet you! I’m sure you guys will get along…”

* * *

 “And this is the kitchen…”

“This place is small.”

“I guess, but I like it that way.”

“I don’t think you have enough space.”

“Honestly, Safu, it’s fine – “

“Hmph. Whatever.”

Nezumi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. _This bitch…_

Safu stood in their apartment, surveying it under a harsh eye. She was incredibly critical and pretty goddamn rude, and that was coming from Nezumi.

She opened their fridge, pursing her lips as she inspected its contents. “Shion are you eating right? I don’t see a lot of greens in here. You need more vitamins in your meals.”

“Sure Safu – “

Safu spun around and pointed an accusing finger at Nezumi. “Is it his fault? Is he not letting you buy vegetables?”

“Excuse me?” _What the hell was wrong with this bitch?!_

“Safe, please!” Shion begged. “It’s fine! I’m getting enough vitamins, don’t worry.”

Safu turned up her nose and asked to be shown the bedroom.

She had been here almost half and hour now, fucking _inspecting_ their apartment like it was some goddamn crime scene. Nezumi waited patiently in the background while Shion showed Safu around their seven hundred square feet of living space. She criticized every little detail, every stain or speck of dust or thing out of place. Shion tried to assure her everything was all right, but not once did she look convinced. Shion had been anxious for her to come, and Nezumi finally understood why. Even Karan had sent him a text.

 **From Karan:** _Good luck tomorrow. I heard Safu’s visiting. She’s very protective of Shion, so be careful. Don’t mind what she says either. I’m sure it’ll be fine_ _J_

Instead of reassuring him, her good luck test put him on edge.

“So you two sleep in one room?” she asked, starring down the two beds.

“Yeah,” Shion answered, wringing his hands.

“Why?”

“Well, there’s only one bedroom – “

“ _He_ could sleep in the living room.” Safu hadn’t even called Nezumi be his name once, always referring to him as _he_.

“Hey!” Nezumi snapped. “This was _my_ apartment to begin with – “

“But now you share it equally.”

Shion intervened, “Safu, it’s okay, really, sharing a room is fine.”

Safu walked closer to Shion, placing her hands on his shoulders, and asked him quietly. “Are you _sure_? Has he tried to do anything to you?”

“ _Safu_!”

That was it. Nezumi stormed over to Safu and pulled her off of Shion. “What the hell is your problem!? How _dare_ you fucking accuse me of that! I know that you think I’m some shitty person with a shitty apartment but you don’t know anything! You don’t know about me and you don’t know us, so don’t go around pretending you do! I don’t fucking care if you think you’re protecting Shion – he’s fine! Don’t you think he would have said something? He can take care of himself, he doesn’t need you…just get over yourself already!”

Usually Nezumi was pretty suave, but there were some people that brought out the worst in him, and he just couldn’t put on a nice face for them. Safu was apparently one of them. Nezumi backed down, but his rage was still strong. _Don’t say it. You’re going to regret it._ “Calm your tits, bitch.”

Safu gasped. Shion yelled “Nezumi!” and he felt his face turn red. This never happened when he insulted people. He never felt bad about it afterwards, even when they didn’t deserve it. But Shion was starring at him, looking so disappointed; Nezumi couldn’t deny he felt ashamed.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. He might’ve said more if Safu hadn’t deserved it.

Safu didn’t react. Throughout his rant, she had kept a constant glare, but now she looked almost pensive. Nezumi practically snarled at her.  She didn’t even react! How could she be so unfeeling?

Shion seemed surprised and confused, looking back and forth between Nezumi and Safu.

“I – um…Safu, let’s set up dinner, okay?” Shion pulled Safu’s arm and shooed her off to the kitchen. “Nezumi…”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Shion sighed, “I should’ve known this wouldn’t go well. Just…please try to be nice over dinner. Please?”

Nezumi looked at his feet. He knew if he looked up now he would see Shion’s bright puppy eyes pleading with him and he didn’t know what he would do if he saw them. “Fine,” he whispered.

He heard the door close, and then he let his anger overtake him. How could she talk to Shion like that? Like he was some useless child? She talked like she owned him, like he was some precious piece of her collection, like he couldn’t take care of himself. He didn’t need her – that was for sure. Nezumi didn’t know why Shion even associated with her.

His fingers were crushed into fists, and his fingernails dug into his palms. He wanted to kick something, break glass or punch or wall or anything to flush the anger out. _Wait…why am I so mad?_

He forced himself to relax. He was over reacting. Safu was just a friend of Shion’s, and she was just looking out for him, and here Nezumi was, getting worked up over something as stupid as that.

Suddenly Inukashi’s words from all those weeks ago came back to him. _He’s got you under his thumb._ But Nezumi knew it was more than that. He wasn’t just being defensive of Shion, he was _jealous_ of Safu. _Oh for fuck’s sake…jealous?_ Nezumi hated when people got jealous. He always felt people should make do with what they have and get over it – that’s how he went through life. But now he was a hypocrite.

His phone interrupted his thoughts. Pulling it out, he saw a message from his old agent, of all people.

 **From Agent:** _u up for an audition?_

Nezumi hadn’t heard from his agent in months. He’d told him he was going to take a couple months off (not that he was coming back) and had left it at that.

 **To Agent:** _no._

A year ago he would have said yes to any audition, like any aspiring actor would. But he had a job now, and honestly, he knew how unlikely it was for him to land the part.

 **From Agent:** _come on. just 1 more. trust me, this parts made for u._

 **From Agent:** _i kno u’ll love it._

He shouldn’t ask. He really shouldn’t. It shouldn’t matter, but it does.

 **To Agent:** _fine, what is it?_

 **From Agent:** _theres a production of twelfth night @ mark taper forum._

Nezumi felt a pang in his chest. _Twelfth Night_ was probably his favorite Shakespeare play, if he had to pick. And the Mark Taper Forum was no joke of a venue, either…

 **From Agent:** _theyre looking for ‘up n coming’ actors. i kno u could play every role in that play. u should audition for viola. i can put in a good word for u since i kno the director_

The offer seemed too good to be true – Viola was a dream part for Nezumi, and if he could get a leg up from his agent’s connection…(he wasn’t good at making connections, even though he knew how important they were in the industry) Nezumi couldn’t deny it was a great opportunity.

 **To Agent:** _when is the audition?_

 **From Agent:** _knew u’d go for it. august 24. dont remember where…but i’ll let u kno when i do_

“Nezumi, are you coming?” Shion called from the kitchen. Nezumi quickly texted his agent back “ok” and rejoined the present company.

 

They sat in the living room as they ate, Safu and Shion on the couch and Nezumi in a stool he pulled in from the kitchen. Safu had a thoughtful look on her face throughout the meal. She didn’t bring up Nezumi’s actions from before, thank god. She just watched him, and shot him a couple questions as they ate. Nezumi did his best to follow what Shion said and hold his temper.

“Where are you from?”

 _Your worst nightmare._ “West Block.”

 “What do you do?”

 _I’m a drag queen who’s going to stick her heels up your ass_. “A job.”

“How much do you get paid?”

 _Probably a lot more than your bitch ass._ “I’d have to check.”

 “Do you shower every day?”

Nezumi put down his fork. “How the fuck is that relevant?”

“Just asking. I don’t want Shion to be living with someone lacking basic hygiene.”

Nezumi rolled his eyes.

“What happened to your face?”

 _You’re fugly face is rubbing off on me._ “Some guys tried to mug me.”

“Were they successful?”

 _You wish_. Nezumi smirked. “Not a chance. If you think my face is bad, you should’ve seen the other guys.”

“Are you always that violent?”

 _I will be if you don’t shut the fuck up_. “Hey, that was self defense! What the hell was I suppose to do?”

Shion cleared his throat and picked up their plates. “I’m going to put these away and get dessert. I made cherry cake just for the occasion…”

Shion glanced back and forth at his friends, and sighed. “Just behave for a few minutes, you two. Please.” Shion walked in to the kitchen, sneaking looks at them before he turned the corner.

Before Nezumi could get out a word, Safu asked softly, “Do you like Shion?”

The question took Nezumi by surprise. He didn’t know what Safu was getting at with that question. Was it a trick? He narrowed his eyes, and asked bitterly. “What do you think?”

She folded her hands in her lap and looked directly at Nezumi. Her dark brown eyes bored into his own, but there wasn’t any malice in them. “I think you do.”

Nezumi wasn’t sure if she meant like as in ‘friendly roommate-like’ or ‘yes I want to kiss him-like’. He had a feeling it was the latter.

“I’m sorry how I was acting early. I thought it was necessary, since I think Shion likes you too. I just wanted to make sure you were good for him.”

Nezumi sensed something behind her words. The way she was looking thoughtfully towards the kitchen, with longing in her eyes, Nezumi suspected…

“I use to like him - in that way. I still do – I love him.” She laughed quietly. “I actually tried get us together once…but then he told me he swung the other way…it was hard at first, but I’ve learned to live with it.”

 _That explained a lot,_ thought Nezumi. For some reason, it made him feel relieved that Shion had turned her down.

“I just want what’s best for him. I want him to be happy. And I knew you make Shion happy – though I can’t see why…”

Nezumi rolled his eyes.

“Be good to him. He’s been through a lot of shit and he doesn’t need any more from you.” Suddenly Safu leaned forward and snatched Nezumi wrist in a painful grip. She whispered furiously with fire in her eyes, “Don’t you dare hurt him or you’ll have hell to pay. Got it?”

Nezumi snatched his hand away. “Now you just – “

“And watch out for him. He’s tough, but he needs support. You better be there for him.”

 _She’s just looking out for him, like everyone else._ Karan, Rikiga, even Inukashi had all been protecting Shion. Nezumi contained his anger at Safu’s condescending tone and nodded. “I know.”

“Is everything going alright?” Shion appeared in front of them holding three plates of cherry cake, two in his hands and one balancing on his forearm. He thrust the plates at both of them and sat down between them, digging into the third plate. “What do you guys think?” he asked with a full mouth.

Nezumi tried the cake, relieved the tension in the room was gone. It was…really good, actually. Normally Nezumi didn’t even like cherries, but when Shion had suggested making his favorite cake for dessert, Nezumi hadn’t had the heart to tell him he probably wouldn’t eat it. But this was really good.

“What do you think?” Shion asked again.

Nezumi, remembering the time he had Shion try his soup, said, “It’s good. Just good.”

Shion laughed. “I should’ve known you’d say that. Okay, you got your payback. Really, how is it?”

“It’s amazing. I’m impressed. I didn’t think we were such a good cook.”

Shion beamed, his smile warming up the room. “I’m not a great cook, but my mom’s a baker, so I learned a lot about baking from her.”

“Karan?” All this time, and Nezumi hadn’t known.

“She owns a bakery in West Block,” Safu put in. Nezumi had almost forgotten she was there. “She makes the best cinnamon rolls and breads, and her cherry cakes are really good too, but I think you make them better, Shion.”

Shion’s face turned red, and waved his hands. “Oh, no way! Mom’s cakes are the best. You’ll have to try them someday Nezumi!”

“Fine. Whatever.”

“If you think my cake is good, you’ll be blown away by Mom’s. I know it.”

“If you say so.”

Soon after they finished their dessert, Safu left.

“Thanks for coming, Safu. Sorry about Nezumi’s behavior – “

“Hey!”

“ – but you’re welcome back any time! Right, Nezumi?” Shion looked and starred pointedly at Nezumi.

Nezumi rolled his eyes and said. “I told you, it’s your apartment too.”

Shion smiled. “See?” he said to Safu.

“Thanks for dinner Shion.” Safu pulled Shion into a tight hug. “Take care of yourself.”

Shion laughed. “I will.”

Safu directed her glare at Nezumi and said, “You take care of him, too.”

“…I will,” Nezumi found himself saying.

While Shion and Safu said their final goodbyes, Nezumi put himself to bed. He thought about that evening, about how bitchy Safu was at first. In the end, though, she didn’t seem all that bad. Okay, maybe he was exaggerating. He still didn’t like her at all. But she had been able to let go of Shion and hand him over to Nezumi, a total stranger to her, and Nezumi respected that.

His thoughts circled from Safu to his audition and back to Shion, and slowly he fell asleep.

* * *

 

_He was on a bus. It was the same bus. There were kids there, middle school kids. Nezumi was a middle schooler too. He looked around the bus._

_Shion appeared by his side. “Shion!” he said, and the boy looked his way._

_“Who’re you?” he asked, his eyes red and wide._

_“It’s me, Nezumi!”_

_“I don’t know you.”_

_Tears rolled down Nezumi’s cheek, but it didn’t phase Shion. He just sat there, unmoving. “Yes you do! Don’t you remember – “_

_CRASH. The bus screeched to a halt, flinging Nezumi against the seat in front of him. The bus tipped over and his vision went gray. Smoke._

_“Shion!” he called. He reached out his hand but couldn’t find Shion in the thick wall of smoke. “SHION!”_

_“Nezumi,”_

_“AHH!” Nezumi jumped. Shion suddenly appeared next to him, but his hair was dark brown and his skin was clear. “Help me.” Shion said._

_Flames licked the window and crawled over the seats. They surrounded Shion but Nezumi couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak – the smoke clogged his lungs and formed a smoggy hand that held him back._

_“Help me,” Shion said. His eyes were as red as the flames that encircled him, climbing up his arms and legs._

_“NO!” Nezumi yelled, but the flames engulfed Shion in a single swallow, turning him to smoke and ash._

* * *

 

Nezumi sprang awake. He was panting and sweating and his heart was racing. He was in his bedroom; it was still dark out. Frantically, he looked over to where Shion slept.

He was sound asleep by the looks of it. Nezumi sighed in relief. The dream had terrified him. But it was just a dream.

Taking a couple deep breaths, Nezumi eased himself back to sleep.

* * *

 

A little more than a week later, Nezumi’s wounds had healed, and he was on his way back from his first night back at work. It had been a successful night; there had been a large turnout and even Levi had seemed to be in a good mood.

It was about two in the morning, but it was a hot summer’s night with a cool breeze. It felt almost peaceful on nights like this, taking the quiet back alleyways. But tonight, something seemed off. He kept hearing voices and footsteps. Or at least, he thought he was hearing them. He tried to find the sources of the sounds, but he didn’t see anyone else. He was probably just being paranoid.

His thoughts turned to Shion. Things hadn’t changed much with him since then. Besides the rats - but that was besides the point. Shion still seemed pretty fond of Nezumi, and Nezumi, although he hated to admit it, was fond of Shion too. But lately he had been more reserved, and quieter than usual. Maybe he was hiding something, or maybe he was mad at Nezumi. Had he been too mean to Safu? Nezumi thought that visit had ended up okay, but maybe Shion didn’t think so. Maybe he was still mad at him for the ‘mugger incident’. Initially Nezumi thought he had believed it, but maybe he was wrong.

Lost in thought, Nezumi almost didn’t hear the shouting in the alleyway beside their building.

Nezumi sprinted towards the sound, dropping his bag on the spot. Another noise sounded from the back alleyway as Nezumi tore around the corner.

He flash of white was the first thing that caught his eye in the shadowed alley. It was Shion – and a burly man held him in a chokehold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I hardly know anything about auditions and such so everything about Nezumi's acting career is guesswork.
> 
> *I said earlier that it was rasberry cake BUT ITS CHERRY CAKE I'll change the previous part later (thank you random post on tumblr)


	9. Shion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR TRANS SLURS AND VIOLENCE  
>  ~~IMPORTANT: I totally rushed the ending of the last chapter and that was why it was literal shit, but I changed it so it makes more sense - I put it at the beginning of this chapter so you guys don't have to go back. NOTE: IT'S NEZUMI'S POV UNTIL THE DOUBLE LINE.~~  
>  ALSO IMPORTANT: If you haven't read Bus Ride yet, DO IT. DO IT NOW. THINGS WILL MAKE SO MUCH MORE SENSE, ESPECIALLY NEXT CHAPTER
> 
> Gah, I wanted to put this up sooner, I had spring break and all this time to do it! (I ended up doing this the literal last two days of break)
> 
> I originally wanted to post two chapters, but this is all you guys are getting for awhile. I have AP Testing and April is LITERAL HELL because of that and I don't know how soon I'll be able to update. I'll try again for the usual two weeks, but I can't promise anything.
> 
> In the meantime, have this extra long chapter! 
> 
> NOTE: I also highly suggest you click links when you see them

“Woof!”

“Bark!

Shion blinked his eyes open. It was the morning after Safu had visited, and it was still pretty early, considering it was still dark out.

“Grrrufff!”

“Yip yip!”

The banter of Inukashi’s dogs had probably woken him up. Yawning, he pulled himself out of bed. There was no way he’d get back to sleep with those dogs wailing like a choir. _Might as well go and help Inukashi settle them down._

Nezumi was still in bed. Shion was surprised the barking hadn’t woken him up; normally Nezumi was an early riser, but Shion had come to realize he was also a deep sleeper.

He looked small when he slept. Shion was only a little bit shorter than Nezumi, but like this, with his dark hair spread across his pillow and his mouth slightly open, clutching his blanket to his chest, Shion thought Nezumi could pass for a child. The bruise on his cheek was quickly fading from blue to a greenish yellow color, and the cut on his face had scabbed over. Hopefully this would be enough to keep him out of work for a while…

Safu’s visit had ended up going…okay. Sure, the beginning was rough, but honestly, Shion had expected a lot worse from those two. They were on two opposite sides of the spectrum; one methodical, the other passionate. But the both cared for Shion, and that seemed to unite them in the end. Shion felt warm inside; he was glad two people who were special to him could get along through their mutual connection to him. It was like one of the things he loved about ecology – how the most different organisms can all relate and depend on each other.

The barking of Inukashi’s dogs brought him out of his thinking. Choosing to forgo breakfast, Shion headed downstairs to Inukashi and their dogs.

“Ruff ruff ruff!”

“Woof woof grrrr…”

In the front room of the shelter, Inukashi was surrounded by a hoard of dogs. They barked and whined and jumped on Inukashi, who pushed the away, desperately trying to calm them down. Inukashi was holding something in their hand, a cage of some sort, that they held high into the air above the dogs.

“Need some help?” Shion asked over the sounds of the dogs. He carved a path through the dogs and pulled a couple of the bigger ones off of Inukashi.

“Shoo, you damn dogs!” Inukashi said, waving away the sad looking mutts. “I’ll feed you in a minute, give it a rest!”

“I’ll do that.” Shion called the dogs over to their food bowls, shaking an enormous bag of dog food. “C’mon guys, over here! Food! Feeding time! Leave Inukashi alone!”

The dogs stopped barking and turned their heads simultaneously towards Shion.

“Gotcha,” he muttered under his breath.

As soon as he started to pour the food out, they bounded over to him and smothered him in dog slobber and fur, trying to get at the food. He navigated carefully around them, making sure every bowl was full (well, was full at one point since some of the dogs would devour the meal the moment he was done giving it).

“Er, thanks, I guess,” Inukashi said.

Shion smiled at them as he put away the bag of food. “No problem. What’s that?” He pointed at the cage they held against their chest.

Inukashi frowned. “Some douche left these guys outside the door. Found them when I taking those guys for a walk,” they pointed vaguely at some of the dogs surrounding the food. “This is a fucking dog shelter, why the hell would someone leave these here?”

Shion looked inside the cage. Burrowed underneath the bedding at the bottom of the cage were three mice. One white, one black, and the other light brown.

“Aw, what cute mice!” Shion remarked.

Inukashi scoffed. “They’re rats, idiot. That’s probably why the douche abandoned them. No one likes rats.”

Shion looked at the rats. He didn’t understand why someone would just abandon them – they looked so harmless scurrying around in the bottom of the cage, crawling over each other to crowd up against the side where Shion stood. Shion stuck his finger in the cage to pet them –

“Dumbass!” Inukashi slapped his hand away. “Do you want to get rabies?”

Shion pulled his hand away, “Actually, it’s pretty rare for rats to get rabies…and these ones seem domesticated already. Their coats are so clean and shiny, see?”

Inukashi rolled their eyes. “You don’t know that. There could be a million things wrong with them! You can’t just go sticking your fingers in there for them to bite…”

“Sorry, you’re right,” Shion admitted, wringing his wrists. “That was dumb.”

Inukashi put the cage on the counter behind them. The rats scrambled around in the cage, looking bright eyed at Shion and Inukashi.

“What are you going to do with them?” Shion asked.

Inukashi sighed. “I can’t exactly keep them. I don’t know how to take care of rats. I don’t have the extra money to buy them stuff anyways. And even if I did, they’re pretty gross. I’ll probably just let them go.”

Shion understood why Inukashi felt that way, but these poor little animals shouldn’t have to suffer because of it. If these rats really were domesticated, then they wouldn’t survive very long in the streets. They would surely die if they didn’t have someone to take care of them! Besides, they seemed like they’d be good pets. And the apartment was pretty lonely when Nezumi was at work…

“I’ll take them,” Shion said resolutely.

“Eh?” Inukashi looked at him funny. “ _You’ll_ take them?”

Shion nodded. “I’ll take them in. I can take them to the vet and make sure they get all their shots, and I can learn how to take care of them properly and what to feed them…”

Shion stopped talking when he realized Inukashi’s shoulders were shaking, and they were covering their face with their hands.

“Are you…laughing?”

“Ha ha ha!!” Inukashi suddenly burst out. “You think Nezumi would let you keep those? No way! Are you crazy?”

Shion hadn’t really thought about Nezumi when he made that proposal, but surely he could convince him to let them stay, right?

“Well, I mean, I think I can convince him – “

“Ha! If you do, if you can persuade _Nezumi_ , the most uptight asswipe for fifty miles around, to keep _rats_ in his apartment, I will build you and altar because you are obviously a fucking _god_! Haha!” Inukashi waved their hands in front of their face, trying to cool off.

Shion smirked and crossed his arms. “I’ll take up the challenge.”

“Oh jeez, you actually mean it…” Inukashi said, lowering their hands. “Eh, If you can convince him, then why the hell not? They’re yours.”

“Thank you!” Shion said earnestly. “Don’t worry, I’ll make him see why I want them!”

“Tch,” Inukashi bent down to look at the rats. “Well, if anyone can convince him, it’s you.”

Shion wondered what made Inukashi say that. Shion didn’t know many of Nezumi’s friends, so he couldn’t tell if Inukashi was making a reasonable observation or had too much confidence in him.

“You can take those rats back to your apartment now,” Inukashi said, handing the cage to Shion. “The dogs just freak out when they see them.”

Shion hurried upstairs, set the cage on the coffee table, and ran into their bedroom. Nezumi was already gone, thought. He probably left right after I did…Nezumi had said something about being gone most of the day.

Satisfied once he remembered that, he ran back downstairs to see Inukashi holding a terrier mix under their arm. They beckoned Shion outside. “C’mon, let’s start you with washing her.” Shion grabbed a bucket with a sponge and soap from the closet before following Inukashi outside.

Thinking of Nezumi caused Shion to remember another question he had been meaning to ask Inukashi.

“Er, Inukashi?” he asked.

Inukashi put the dog down and grabbed the hose. “What is it?”

“Do you know what Nezumi’s job is?”

Inukashi stayed silent for a moment, like they were choosing their words carefully.  
“He hasn’t told you?”

“No.”

“Take this.” Inukashi shoved the hose in his direction, and Shion started washing the little dog.

He had hoped to get an answer out of Inukashi, since they seemed to know a lot about Nezumi. And since they didn’t like him, it didn’t seem like a far stretch that Inukashi would betray one of Nezumi’s secrets (even if that was a little underhanded on Shion’s part…it was for a good cause, right?) But now, from the reluctant expression on Inukashi’s face, he was afraid he wasn’t going to get an answer.

Inukashi leaned up against the doorway while Shion rubbed soap into the mutt’s grimy fur. They said, “It’s not my place to tell you. If Nezumi thinks that you don’t need to know, you probably don’t need to know.”

Shion smiled. “Did you just agree with Nezumi?”

Inukashi frowned. “Ah, listen to the shit I’m saying! I guess I did, but this is a first, and definitely a last, so don’t tell him!”

Shion pinched his fingers, zipped his lips shut, and threw away the invisible key. He knew that there was no way he could tell Nezumi, even if he wanted to, since that would mean telling Nezumi he was snooping behind his back.

After he finished washing the terrier mix and a couple of other dogs, his stomach growled. He vaguely remembered skipping breakfast this morning, and asked for an early lunch. Inukashi shrugged and said, “Go ahead. And put away the sponge and bucket. You’ve done enough today. I’ll finish drying off this puppy.”

Shion smiled and returned the supplies to the closet. As he put away the soap in a cabinet, he heard a voice mumble behind him.

“…stupid dogs…waking me up at the crack of dawn…sue Inukashi one day…”

Shion stepped out of the closet and looked into the main part of the shop.

There was a man standing in the middle of the floor with his back to Shion. He was wearing a brown suit, and seemed to be wary of the dogs, cautiously backing away whenever one passed by him.

“Inukashi!” he suddenly yelled, turning around. “Inukashi! Get your a – ”

The man stopped when spotted Shion. “Oh,” he muttered, a look of surprise spreading across his face. He had a thin mustache and beard, and a rugged looking face. He wore a newsboy cap and a red bow tie that should have looked strange on an older man, but somehow fit him nicely. The man’s eyes widened when they met Shion’s with surprise that seemed unwarranted for two strangers.

Then again, there was something very familiar about this man…

“Um…” Shion wasn’t really sure what to say. “Inukashi’s out back, can I get them for you?”

The man suddenly came to his senses. He lowered his cap over his eyes, and crossed his arms. “I…er…it’s nothing important. I can come back later.”

“Are you sure – “

“Don’t worry about it, kid. I’ll just go back upstairs for now…”

_Upstairs?_ “Wait! Are you…Rikiga?” Shion recalled the name from when Nezumi spoke of his other neighbor. That’s who this guy must be: his upstairs neighbor.

Oh god. _His upstairs neighbor._ The one he heard doing…things the other night.

Shion shivered, and tried his hardest to push thoughts of anything to do with Rikiga’s…personal affairs out of his mind.

A look of resignation passed over Rikiga’s face. He raised his hands in defeat. “Ah! You caught me, you caught me. I should have known I couldn’t hide for long,” Rikiga exclaimed. He rushed over to Shion and enveloped him in a huge hug.

“ _Uf!”_ Shion wasn’t quite sure what to do about this virtual stranger giving him a full body hug. He liked hugging, but generally not with people he didn’t know…or people whose nether regions he already knew too much about –

Shion broke out of the hug, but before he could say anything Rikiga exclaimed,  “I can’t believe you remember me after all this time! I’m sorry I hid myself from you, kid, I just thought…it was for the better. Do you forgive me?” The man pleaded with Shion with his hands clenched together and his face in a sorry smile.

Shion felt his face turning pink as his anxious hands straightened out his sweater. So there was a reason this man looked familiar, but Shion still couldn’t quite remember why. “Uh, I, actually, um, don’t remember who you are.”

Rikiga’s smile fell and his hands dropped.

“Er, sorry?” Shion tried, rubbing the back of his neck.

Rikiga hung his head in his hands. “Ahh, so I spoiled that for nothing. Sorry if I overwhelmed you, kid,” he laughed, wringing his hands together.

“It’s okay,” Shion reassured him. “So, um, where do I know you fr – ”

“Shion, I thought you said you were leaving?” Inukashi interrupted, walking into the room. They stopped in the doorway, holding the newly dry puppy.

Upon seeing their neighbor, Inukashi narrowed their eyes and muttered, “Rikiga.”

Rikiga pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes as well. He gently pushed Shion aside and marched up to Inukashi, pointing in their face. “Inukashi. I have a bone to pick with you!”

Inukashi rolled their eyes and put the puppy down, causing Rikiga to back up a foot. “No one says that any more, old man.”

Rikiga growled and sputtered, “H-hey! That’s – that’s not the point! The point is your stupid dogs! They woke me up at the crack of dawn with their incessant howling and barking! Don’t you know how to contain them?”

“Of course I do, what do you think I do all day, old man!”

“If you can’t make your dogs shut up, I’m going to make a complaint about a disturbance and have them take away your stupid dogs – “

“Guys!” Shion stepped in. They both paused and looked at him. “Calm down.”

They both took a step back.

“Rikiga, the reason the dogs were barking was because there were rats,” Shion explained.

“Rats?!” Rikiga yelled, jumping up in surprise. “Here?!”

“It’s okay! They’re gone now.” Shion didn’t think it’d be the best idea to tell Rikiga that they were now in Shion’s apartment. “That was the only reason for their barking. Right, Inukashi?”

Inukashi nodded with a smirk. Shion hoped they weren’t planning on telling Rikiga where the rats actually were.

“It won’t happen again. So it’s okay now, right?” Shion gave Rikiga his biggest smile.

The man’s anger seemed to wane. His snarl turned to a tiny frown. “Fine. As long as they don’t wake me up again.”

“They won’t,” Inukashi said, turning away and heading back the way they came. “Unless I want them to,” they added under their breath.

“Hey!” Rikiga growled, but Inukashi was gone. He sighed. “The kids in this apartment will be the death of me.”

Shion took the moment to observe Rikiga more carefully. He definitely recognized him, but he couldn’t remember from where for the life of him. “Er, Rikiga? I was going to ask – “

“Let’s go up to my apartment,” Rikiga interrupted. “You can join me for lunch, and we can have a proper introduction. Well, reintroduction.”

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes later found them eating salad and leftover spaghetti on Rikiga’s dining table. Yes, dining table – even though his complex was small, it was much more nicely furbished than Nezumi’s or Inukashi’s.

The walls were a deep red velvet, and the couches and chairs were all black leather. Plants furnished elegantly crafted side tables, and the dining table was made of glass, topped with a bouquet of white poppies.

Shion’s curiosity had only grown while waiting for them to get settled in. Now he barely touched his food, eager for Rikiga to explain himself.

Rikiga cleared his throat, and began talking.

“It’s quite simple, really, this whole situation. The reason I wanted to avoid you was because I was afraid that if you saw me, you would remember who I was.”

Rikiga took a mouthful of salad while Shion waited patiently for him to finish chewing and continue. He thought it was a bit strange to interrupt an explanation like this, but he guessed that it created suspense and Rikiga, like Nezumi, probably had a tendency to be dramatic.

“I used to work for the Los Angeles Times. I don’t work there any longer for…personal reasons, but it was a good job when I had it. Five, maybe six years ago, they had me cover an important story…”

Suddenly it all clicked. Shion remembered where he’d seen Rikiga before.

 

_A knock on their hotel door startled Shion and his mother out of their daze. Karan was surprised – not many people knew about their location. Thinking it would be a policeman or lawyer, she opened the door. A big man with a large smile on his face stood in the doorway, with a bouquet of white poppies in one hand and a notebook in the other._

_Shion watched as his mom talked with the stranger, and then let him in. They sat down at the table, across from Shion. The man tipped his hat at him and smiled. “The name’s Rikiga, pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand, but Shion shrunk back._

_His mother told him to go stay in his room while the man was over, and Shion was happy to oblige._

_The next time he saw the man, he kept his distance from Shion but kept his smile as well. He pulled something out of his coat pocket. “Your mother said you like reading. You must be pretty bored in this hotel, and I thought you might find this interesting.”_

_He held out a rectangular package. Shion cautiously took it and unwrapped it._ A Sand County Almanac _read the title in bold, red capitals._

_“It might be a bit too hard for you, but your mother said you’rer smart.” Rikiga winked at him, and then began to talk again with his mother. Too absorbed in the book, Shion didn’t notice when he left._

 

“I remember,” Shion said. “I remember now.”

Rikiga’s expression fell. “Oh,” he said.

Shion felt a little bad about stealing away his moment, but there wasn’t much to explain anyway. “You were the reporter that covered our story. You gave me a book.”

“Did I?” Rikiga scratched his head. “Eh, I can’t remember much from then. But I do remember your mother, Karan – oh, she was so kind!”

Shion remembered something else about Rikiga then. He remembered how Rikiga would flirt with his mother.

“How is she? I haven’t spoken with Karan in years! I hope she’s doing all right…didn’t she open up a bakery in West Block. She’s such a strong woman, to be able to live there on her own… and she’s so beautiful, isn’t she? You’re so lucky to have her as your mother! Hey – how about you put me in touch with her? I’d love to see her again!”

Shion nodded and smiled, but internally he thought _Please don’t hit on my mom._ “Um…maybe some other time?”

Rikiga nodded. “I understand. She’s probably very busy with the bakery in the summertime, am I right?”

Shion nodded. “That, and…well…” Shion considered telling Rikiga about No.6. He almost shivered just thinking about it…but if there were anyone he could tell about it besides his mother, Rikiga would probably understand best. “Number six…”

Rikiga’s face immediately darkened. “I heard.”

Shion looked up at him. “How? I thought – ”

“I have a lot of friends in a lot of places,” Rikiga explained. “And it’s hard to keep news like that under wraps.”

Shion hung his head. He wondered how long it _would_ be under wraps, at least from a certain someone…

“I know what you’re thinking,” Rikiga interrupted Shion’s thoughts. “You can’t hide it from Nezumi forever. I think it’d be better to tell him sooner rather than later, considering how close it is. What was the date – August something, right?”

“August fourteenth,” Shion whispered.

Rikiga sighed. “I guess it’s your choice, but I think it’d help you if he knew. I don’t like that kid much, but I know he likes you. I’m guessing you like him, too?”

Shion blushed, and nodded.

Rikiga smirked, “I don’t know what you see in him, but…use him as support, if you need it. You’re a good kid, Shion. The way you stopped Inukashi and I downstairs? You have a level head, and a good heart.”

Shion smiled at him. He wasn’t sure all those things were true, but he was glad that Rikiga thought that highly of him. “Thank you, that means a lot.

“I think I should also be thanking you for before,” Shion continued. “With the article. My mom was really thankful, and so was I.”

Rikiga smiled fondly at the memory. “Anything for a pretty lady like her, haha! I’m just glad I could help out.”

They were just about done with their meal, and Shion was planning on leaving soon, not wanting to overstay his welcome. But there was one more thing he had to do before he left. It was too good of an opportunity to miss.

“Uh, Rikiga? Would you mind if I asked you something?” Shion asked as Rikiga put away their dishes.

“Anything for Karan’s son – go right on and ask.”

“What’s Nezumi’s job?”

Rikiga returned to the table and sat down. “He hasn’t told you?”

Shion shook his head.

“I don’t know if I should tell you if he hasn’t – “  
“Please!” Shion said. “I just want to know. I’m worried about him now. I was okay with not knowing before…but the other night when he came back from work, he was beat up! He said it was a mugger, but I don’t believe him.”

Rikiga seemed to ponder this for a moment, stroking his beard. Shion wrung his hands, impatiently awaiting an answer. “I just want to know that he’s safe.” _And how he got hurt in the first place, so I can ensure it never happens again._

Rikiga looked up at him, his eyes filled with curiosity. “You’ve grown rather close to him in such a short period of time.”

Shion knew it was true. Something about Nezumi was just so…fascinating. Shion couldn’t pinpoint what it was, but it drew him to the dark haired man. It did all those years ago on the bus ride, and it did now. Shion just couldn’t pinpoint the time when fascination turned into…something else.

“Alright,” Rikiga said after a time. “I was planning to go to El – his workplace soon anyway. I’ll take you with me.”

“Er, can’t you just tell me?” Shion asked.

Laughing, Rikiga said, “I could tell you, Shion, but trust me – it’s better if you see it. You might not believe me otherwise.”

A bunch of scenarios went through Shion’s mind. Was Nezumi a secret agent? Was he an assassin? A stripper?

Rikiga walked him to the door. Before Shion left, Rikiga said, “Nezumi’s still out of work, right?”

“He said he’ll go back next week.”

“Friday evening, then, next week. After Nezumi leaves, meet me up here, and we can go together.”

Shion nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Wait – do you mind if I bring someone else? Just…an acquaintance?” Rikiga asked innocently.

Shion paled, remembering the noises from the other night, and hoped Rikiga didn’t do those kinds of things with his ‘acquaintances’.

“Um, sure.”

“Fantastic! I’ll see you then!” Rikiga opened the door and Shion stepped out.

Shion thanked him for the meal and went down to his own apartment to Google ‘how to take care of rats’.

* * *

 

And that’s how Shion ended up in front of _Elyurias_ , with Rikiga and a girl whose name he’d already forgotten, a little more than a week later. (In that week, he had successfully convinced Nezumi to keep the rats. Strangely, it wasn’t as hard as he’d thought it’d be. Nezumi had taken to them quickly.)

 The place was large; it towered over the other buildings down the street. It was a beacon of the light on the shadowy avenue, radiating in its presence and noise and literal light from the neon green sign that read _Elyurias_.

“C’mon, Shion!” Rikiga called from the entrance. Shion had been frozen by the sight of the building; he hadn’t even noticed Rikiga and his ‘friend’ Barbara had gone ahead.

It was obvious that it was a night-club. Shion just wondered what Nezumi did here. Honestly, Nezumi having _any_ job here was hard for Shion to believe. The only times Shion usually saw Nezumi when he was alone, and he knew Nezumi wasn’t a people person, so it was weird to think he worked somewhere that was a people magnet. Was he just a bartender? Was he a performer? Did he own the place? _No, then he wouldn’t have needed a roommate._

“This way, Shion,” Rikiga pulled Shion into the building, sweet-talking and bribing the bouncer to let Shion in. The first thing that hit Shion was the vastness of the place. It wasn’t a two-story building, but a one-story one with a high ceiling. A disco ball hung from the top, though it seemed to be turned off, and the stage lights hung next to it. In the middle of everything there were huge round tables with white table clothes, and on one side there was a bar that stretched all the way from the front of the joint to the stage in the back. It was a little stage, backed by classic red velvet curtains. Some group of women sang [a song Shion recognized from _Jekyll & Hyde_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeWItubZao4), but he couldn’t quite remember which one. Wherever Nezumi was in here, Shion knew he would be enjoying this act.

Their little group found a place at the bar, far enough away from the stage that it wasn’t crowded, but close enough to see the performers.

_“_ _Step this way it's time for us to play_  
They say we may not pass this way again  
So let's waste no more time  
Bring on the men!”

The group took a bow, and everyone cheered. “Hey, Rikiga? Where’s Nezumi?” Shion asked through the crowd’s yelling.

“You’ll see him soon,” Rikiga assured, quickly turning back to the bartender. “A drink for me and the lady!” he boasted.

Shion turned back to the stage. Once the previous group took their final bows, a small man with a sour expression came up with a microphone.

“It looks like you enjoyed that act,” he said.

The crowd cheered loudly.

“Calm you tits, people. I’m amazed you aren’t sick of their Broadway shit. You guys have weird tastes. Like our next performer – who’s finally back from the dead. You all seem to love her. Don’t know why. But hey, as long as you’re paying us, we’ll bring her back for you.”

The audience laughed, even though Shion thought the guy didn’t really seem like he was joking.

The guy didn’t even smile as he continued talking. “Turn your nasty perverted eyes to the stage, and welcome our next performer, the _lovely_ Eve.”

The lights suddenly dimmed. The crowd went silent, and a single spotlight lit up the stage where the empty microphone stand stood.

[A voice as smooth as butter](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaeAlG-G968) and as rich as velvet rung throughout the club: _“You had plenty money in 1922.”_

A bass began plucking and a black figure came onto the shows of the stage, taking slow steps to the beat of the music. _“You let other women make a fool out of you.”_

Snaps started, first from the track, then from the audience. The figure sauntered onto the stage. _“Why don’t you do right?”_

She was beautiful; she wore a tight fitting, [bright red dress](http://www.bebe.com/Dresses/Cocktail-Evening/Asymmetric-Keyhole-Sleeve-Dress/pc/197/c/0/sc/206/64245.pro) with an asymmetrical shoulder and tall black boots. She had long dark hair, and long lashes and piercing grey eyes –

“Like some other men do?”

_It was Nezumi._

Shion’s heart leapt out of his chest. It was Nezumi up there, in a dress, and he looked…well, gorgeous. Shion wasn’t into girls, but he could appreciate their beauty, and Nezumi definitely looked beautiful. His makeup brought out his eyes, the dark hair framed his face and the red dress accented his curves, even the curves that shouldn’t be there. Between the boots and the dress, a strip of pale skin teased Shion who couldn’t help but ogle at Nezumi’s figure. He felt his face heating up, and he felt guilty sneaking looks at his roommate, but he couldn’t look away. Nezumi – or Eve, he supposed – commanded the attention of everyone in the room.

And his voice – Shion had heard it in the shower, and when they had sung Broadway songs together ( _I wonder why he’s not singing one right now?)_ but he never imagined it sounding like this. It dripped from his lips like chocolate drizzled on strawberries; rich and thick and slow, dragging out and holding his hearing captive. Not another sound, besides the bass and piano, could be heard against Nezumi’s voice.

Nezumi – Eve – swayed her hips to the beat of the song, sticking her chest out. Shion felt himself gulping guiltily when his jaw started to drop. She eyed the members of the audience like they were her playthings, or even her prey. She sent smirks to unsuspecting bachelors and blew kisses and winked at men with dates.

Shion knew Nezumi would be furious if he saw Shion here. With some difficulty, Shion tore his eyes away from Eve, determined not to make eye contact with her, and turned to the bar so she couldn’t see his face.

Rikiga was right. If he hadn’t taken Shion here to see Eve, Shion never would have believed him. _Nezumi was a drag queen_. And apparently a pretty popular one, too.

Eve finished up the song, ignoring the occasional catcall from the audience, while Shion stared at his drink (he had requested a simple water, to everyone’s disbelief). He couldn’t let himself look back up at Eve. She might see him in the crowd.

_Or you might pop one just looking at her._

Shion couldn’t deny it – Nezumi looked insanely attractive as Eve. Even though they had seen each other almost naked before, this was somehow different. It was, in a way, more intimate. Shion finding out about this side of Nezumi was more personal than Shion ever thought it would be, and he felt guilty for prying and guilty for feeling aroused.

(A part of Shion said that that was good – it was Eve’s job, after all, to get a rise out of young males like him so she could make more money. So he shouldn’t feel guilty thinking about his roommate like that. It was her job.)

Eve began another song, but Shion tried to block her out, instead turning to Rikiga.

Rikiga still faced away from him, talking to his ‘acquaintance’. Shion pulled on his sleeve a couple times. “Ah, just a second…

“What?” he asked Shion, turning around.

“Nezumi’s a drag queen,” he stated.

“Thank you Captain Obvious, that’s why I took you here. You wouldn’t have believed me otherwise,” Rikiga took a swig of his drink. “He comes here most nights. Eve tends to draw a big audience, even on the weekdays. Can you see why?”

Shion nodded vigorously, making Rikiga laugh.

“I used to enjoy her performances myself, until I found out she was my nasty rude neighbor. That kind of ruined it for me.” Rikiga took another drink. “But – my friends seem to like her. Isn’t that right, Barbara?”

The woman next to Rikiga smiled and nodded. “She has such a lovely voice!”

“She’ll sometimes play other gigs at other clubs, but mainly she sticks around here. The owner seems to love her,” Rikiga continued. “Anything else you want to know?”

Shion thought for a moment. “The…extent of her…activities. Does she, you know, just sing? Or…”

Rikiga looked at him for a moment, and then burst out laughing. “Ha! What, you think he’s a stripper? A prostitute? Though I have asked him about it…” he muttered to himself.

Shion looked at him funny, but Rikiga kept talking without a falter. “You know Nezumi. Hell, it’s only been a couple of weeks, but you probably know him better that I do! You think he’d let someone violate him like that?”

_No_ , Shion thought. He felt sorry for anyone who made a move on Nezumi when he didn’t want them to. His earlier guess of Nezumi’s occupation as a stripper seemed really stupid now.

He spent the rest of the evening alternating between sneaking glances at Eve, staring into his drink, and watching the audience. Most people seemed a little older than him, mostly men dressed in sports jackets and suits. There were some women, too, with elegant dresses and heels. One group in particular stood out to him: a man who looked like an ape, a shorter one with hair that stood up, and one with a large nose covered in a bandage. They were the only ones who didn’t seem to be having a good time, and just sat sulking at their table in the corner. Shion didn’t even think they could see the stage from there.

But of course, it was Eve that captured his thoughts and attention and held them captive. Shion couldn’t help but think about Nezumi in a dress, if he had other dresses in their apartment. He desperately wanted to talk to Nezumi about it, but he knew he couldn’t. When did he become so invested in Nezumi’s life? Shion knew he’d always been interested in him, but…this felt like it was going too far.

Of course, Shion didn’t want to take if too far, though. Even if Nezumi wanted to, which he definitely didn’t. Sure, he’d tease Shion about stuff like that, but it was just teasing. Maybe it’d even be a one night stand kind of thing, or maybe Eve just wanted a plaything…but if Shion had something with Nezumi, he knew that it needed to be more than physical pleasure to satisfy him. And there was no way Nezumi wanted that from him. Shion allowed himself to enjoy this moment though, to watch Eve and think about what could be, but wouldn’t be.

It felt like time had flown by when Rikiga told him they had to leave. “Eve’s last set will end soon. She’ll take a little time to undress – “

Shion gulped.

“ – before she heads back, but we need to beat her there, so we should go now.”

Shion followed him outside the club, and they walked back to their apartment together.

“Hey, where’s your friend?”

Rikiga scratched the back of his neck, and Shion could see his blush even in the poor light from the street lamps. “I, uh, she just wanted to stay a little longer, that’s all…”

Shion knew Rikiga was lying, but didn’t want to embarrass him, so he didn’t press him further. Instead he gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm.

“Thanks for taking me here. I…I feel bad about going behind Nezumi’s back, but I’m glad I know now,” Shion said. But the reason he wanted to know was still itching in the back of his mind. “There’s just one thing…how did he get beat up from that? It doesn’t seem like a very dangerous job.”

Rikiga was silent, so Shion went on. “Honestly, when he came in with those wounds that night, I was convinced he was a serial killer or a spy or something. But maybe he was telling the truth about being mugged…”

“Shion,” Rikiga said, placing his hand on Shion’s shoulder. “I think he was lying, too. You see…some people aren’t as, well, _accepting_ as us.”

“They consider what Nezumi does to be…wrong, or offensive or something.”

Shion understood now.

“He…he was probably attacked by some bigoted fuckheads.”

The rage that had overpowered Shion when he found Nezumi bruised and bleeding in the bathroom resurfaced. The people who had hurt Nezumi weren’t just bad for hurting him, but they were bad people, too - it was a hate crime. There were few things Shion hated more than people hating each other for their identity, for their gender or sexuality. His hands formed fists, and he itched to use them.

_Calm down_ , he told himself. _You can’t do anything about it right now. Think clearly._ Shion took a few deep breaths to steady himself. A new thought popped into his mind.

“That explains why he couldn’t tell me,” Shion said.

“Eh?”

“He wouldn’t tell me how he got the bruises and the cut on his face, because if he had, then he’d have had to explain what he did.”

They headed back the rest of the way in silence. Right before they got to the door, Rikiga said, “Maybe it’s best you don’t go back there.”

“W-what?” Shion hadn’t even thought about going back. The shock was still fresh – he didn’t even know what to do with this information. Going back? But now that Shion thought about it, he did want to go back. He wanted to see Eve again. He felt bad about that, but he couldn’t help it. “W-why not?”

“People like the ones who hurt Nezumi might hurt you too, if they find out you’re close to him. They also might make assumptions about you two…”

Shion tried his hardest not to blush at that, but from the heat in his face, he knows he failed.

“Wait – you two aren’t like that, are you?” Rikiga asked.

They both jumped. Shion’s head whipped around to source of the noise – the alleyway next to their building. A trash can rolled out of the alley and bumped into the street.

Rikiga grabbed his arm and whispered, “Let’s go inside – “

“Wait,” Shion whispered back. “We should see what it is.”

“Are you crazy?!” Rikiga whispered with ferocity. “This is how people die in horror movies!”

“It’s probably just one of Inukashi’s dogs. They probably got out.” It wouldn’t be the first time, either, and Shion would feel really bad if they left one of the dogs out at night.

He walked around the corner, followed by Rikiga. It was hard to see in the dark, since there were no streetlights here, but Shion could make out the faint shape of a dumpster, and some trashcans knocked down beside it.

Rikiga whispered from behind him, “Shion, we should – _uffff_!!!”

Shion whipped around. “Rikiga!” A fist slammed into his side, knocking him down with brutal force. He hit the ground with a thud, his vision momentarily blacking out.

Three pairs of footsteps surrounded him.

“Didja knock out the pimp?” one gravely voice supplied.

“Ha, yeah he went down like a rock,” a deeper voice answered back.

_Rikiga,_ Shion thought. He tried to sit up, but a foot thrust his chest back against the ground.

“So this is the shemale’s boyfriend,” a crackly voice spat from above him. Shion blinked the black spots out of his eyes. It was the man from the bar – the one with a bandage on his nose.

“You lookin’ at this, bitch?” he asked, pointing to his nose. “Your tranny gave that to me. I’m gonna make ‘em pay for that. And what better way to make ‘em pay than by beatin’ his little boyfriend’s scrawny ass?”

Shion’s heart stopped. These men – the ape-like one and the one with the weird hair were there too – had been the ones to hurt Nezumi. The reason they hadn’t looked happy at the club was because they’d probably planned to stalk him home, and get revenge. The rage overtook Shion again; he could see Nezumi’s wounds and his beaten, sorrowful face in his mind’s eye. These were the fuckheads that hurt his friend.

“Ahhhrrrgg!” Shion shot up, yanking the foot off his chest and pushing Bandage down.

“Hey!” Ape yelled, grabbing Shion’s arm. Shion tried to pull out of his grasp, but his grip was too strong. Snarling, Shion bit down on the man’s arm.

“OWWW! You SHIT!” the man cried, releasing his hold on Shion. Weird hair dude suddenly pounced at his legs, sending them both toppling over. Shion tried to get up, struggling to get his legs out from the man’s grip, but the man held him tightly. Shion used his free hands to punch the guy’s face, over and over again.

“How! Dare! You! Hurt! Nezumi!” he yelled between punches. The guy’s grip was becoming slacker, so Shion seized his hair in a fist and yanked his head up, swinging his other hand in a powerful punch against the man’s nose.

“YYOOOWWW!” He yelled, falling off of Shion, gripping his nose in agony. Shion got himself up, only to be yanked aside. It was Bandage again – Shion tried to pull away but Bandage surged forward with a hand against his throat.

Shion’s throat burned against Bandage’s hand, and no matter how hard he hit and pulled at his hands, Bandage’s grip didn’t waiver. His rage didn’t help him in this fight – and it was burning out fast. He pushed Shion up against the wall, pushing him off the ground until Shion’s lungs started to burn. His vision became cloudy and his lungs struggled to take in air, his mouth gaping opening but no air going through. His consciousness was starting to fade…

“HEY!” a voice yelled. The hands around his throat loosened. “It’s me you want, isn’t it?”

The hands around his throat vanished, and Shion slumped to the floor. Air flew through his lungs as be hungrily breathed it in, like a starving man finally offered food. His breaths were ragged and he felt lightheaded, but he tried to keep his eyes open to see what was happening.

Bandage had turned to the voice. It was…Nezumi?

“Well well well if it isn’t the man himself. Or should I say, schman?” Bandage sang.

Shion watched through his blurry vision as Nezumi ran up to Bandage and punched him with enough force to bring him down. A surge of sleepiness hit him, and he felt himself passing out as he watched through fading vision the man be kicked again and again and again by his dark haired savior…

* * *

 

It felt like moments later when Shion woke up. His head ached, and his throat felt dry and sore. He was in his bed, though, and there was a figure sitting next to him on the bed, with their head in their hands.

“Nezumi…” Shion whispered, his voice sounding strained. Well, it _was_ strained - it hurt to talk.

“Shion,” Nezumi turned towards him. “Are you okay?”

Shion opened his mouth to answer but before he could speak, Nezumi put his hand over Shion’s mouth. “Never mind, don’t answer that, you shouldn’t talk yet. Just…just rest for now.”

Shion looked at him and nodded. Nezumi’s gaze drifted away from his own, but Shion could tell he was angry. There was a fire behind his eyes, despite his cool and collected attitude.

“Tomorrow we can figure things out. I don’t even want to know why you were out tonight. With Rikiga, too. I didn’t even know you guys knew each other. Don’t go places with him anymore! He’s lucky I was feeling generous enough to drop in off in his apartment. He’s a pimping bastard. I don’t trust him…”

Shion rolled his eyes while Nezumi continued muttering to himself. He’d tell Nezumi about Rikiga tomorrow. Or maybe he wouldn’t…he remembered Rikiga’s words, imploring him to tell Nezumi everything. But he couldn’t do that. Not yet, at least.

Shion was so lost in his own thoughts that he almost missed it when Nezumi mumbled, “…that’s the second time I’ve had to save you now…”

Shion whined, causing Nezumi to look back at him. _Second time I’ve had to save you…_ Shion remembered a flash from his past, thanking Nezumi for saving him from tumbling into the tar –

_“…yeah, I shouldn’t have disrespected my savior.”_

_Nezumi looked into Shion’s eyes; they were unwavering. Nezumi released his grip, and Shion took his hand back and cradled hit in his lap. Nezumi whispered under his breath, “Didn’t think you even saw me…”_

_Shion rolled his eyes. “Of course I did! As soon as you saved me from falling over the edge, I turned around to thank you, but you were walking away already.”_

_“…you said you were going to thank me?” Nezumi asked._

_“Yeah, I guess I was. So – thank you. For saving me from becoming a museum exhibit,” Shion said.”_

Shion struggled to make out the words. “B-bus…ride….”

Nezumi’s eyes went wide. So he _had_ remembered. After all this time, Nezumi always remembered. Shion supposed he couldn’t complain; he hadn’t said a word about it either.

Nezumi looked at him, a strange gleam in his eye. Shion couldn’t tell what Nezumi was thinking. Did this change anything?

Suddenly he let out a yawn. Nezumi’s expression morphed into a frown. “Go to sleep now. We can talk in the morning about…that. Right now, you need rest.”

Nezumi turned off the light and headed back to his bed. Shion feel asleep quickly, despite the countless new thoughts circulating in his mind and the numerous emotions plaguing his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Special thanks to user WhiteEevee for song suggestions!! It was really helpful!
> 
> *All comments and critiques are much appreciated! Thank you guys so much for your love and support!!


	10. Nezumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was like shitting out a brick. The biggest, roughest, most unshapely brick you could imagine. I had to cut a scene I loved and rewrite the rest, which has NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE (because I usually don’t write anything above 2000 words haha…) I just wanted you people needed to know that.
> 
> At least AP's are over. Now I can hopefully get back to updating more regularly.
> 
> Thank you guys for being patient with me, I hope this was worth the wait!

Early the next morning Nezumi walked upstairs and shook Rikiga awake. He was still where Nezumi had left him: curled up fast asleep in front of his door.

“Oi! What the – what the fuck?” Rikiga jumped awake and scrambled off the floor. “Why the hell am I out here?”

“Get up,” Nezumi demanded. He crossed his arms and waited for Rikiga to pick himself up.

Rikiga wiped his eyes and pulled at his collar. He looked groggy and his eyes didn’t seem to really seem to see Nezumi. “Just…just tell me what’s going on…”

Nezumi yanked Rikiga’s collar up, starling him awake. “Oi!”

“Do you remember last night?” Nezumi hissed impatiently.

Rikiga’s slack expression became dark. His jaw clenched and his eyebrows cinched; his eyes suddenly cleared up. Guilt found its way onto his expression. “Oh…I – ”

Nezumi threw him against the wall, yelling, “What the hell were you thinking?! Bringing Shion out that late at night?! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Rikiga held up his hands in surrender. “Whoa! Whoa, calm down – let me explain!”

Nezumi laughed sarcastically. “It better be a damn good explanation!”

Once he figured out that the douches were after Shion because of him (it wasn’t hard to hear their conversation from a block away), and he’d seen Shion being choked, he let loose. After ‘letting loose’ on those horrible people – again – Nezumi had carried Shion upstairs and, once he was sure Shion wasn’t dying, retrieved Rikiga as well. He was furious with Rikiga because he _knew_ Shion wouldn’t have gone out last night without Rikiga. He would’ve left him on the lying in the alleyway, unconscious, until morning if he hadn’t known Shion would kill him for that.

Why had he gone to Rikiga? When did they even meet up? Why hadn’t he told Nezumi about this? What could he have possibly needed to hide?

“Look,” Rikiga began. “Shion came to me. We finally ran into each other the other day, and my cover was blown. So I invited him over – ”

“Shion didn’t tell me about this.”

“Sucks to be you, kid. You’re treating him like a child, no wonder he didn’t tell you – ”

Nezumi raised his hand but Rikiga shouted, “Kidding! Just kidding!” before he could form a fist.

“Sheesh, learn how to take a joke. Anyway, he came over and he asked me what you did. Like, your job. Honestly, I think he thought you were a serial killer or something by the way spoke about it…so I told him I’d take him to see you.”

All the blood drained from Nezumi’s face. “You did _what_?”

“I took him – ”

“Fuck, I know, shut up! But why the fuck did you do that?!”

Rikiga was silent.

There was no way Shion could’ve seen Eve and still talked to him last night. Right? Rikiga probably meant that he was about to take Shion to see him. But Nezumi still couldn’t figure out why. Had he gone behind Nezumi’s back? Why had he gone to Rikiga, of all people, for assistance? And why had Rikiga helped him at all? Rikiga knew it would be dangerous for Shion, and he dragged him into Nezumi’s messy life anyway.

“You know that it’s dangerous for him to associate with me! You fucking _warned_ me of it, then you go breaking your own damn rule! You put him at risk. No – _you deliberately took a risk_. And now he’s hurt!”

“Wait – what?”

Nezumi’s heart was racing. He hadn’t been this mad in ages. Before, a long time ago, he might have reacted with punches and kicking. But now…he didn’t want Shion to have to worry any more than he already had to.

“Yeah, that’s right, you got knocked out and conveniently left Shion in the clutches of three transphobic _psychopaths_ who beat the shit out of him.”

“I – what?! Is he okay?” Nezumi was surprised to actually panic in Rikiga’s eyes. It seemed that Safu and him weren’t the only ones who cared about Shion. But it really didn’t surprise him: everyone who knew Shion cared for him.

Nezumi said coldly, “You don’t deserve to know.”

“You’re right, I don’t,” Rikiga sighed. “But I need to know! I need to know how much hurt I caused him…I have to apologize.”

Nezumi just stared at him. If Rikiga expected Nezumi to forgive after being so careless last night, he was dead wrong.

“I truly am sorry.”

“Tell that to Shion.”

Rikiga started heading towards the stairwell. “I will – ”

Nezumi yanked him arm back. “No you won’t. Not right now, at least. You’ve caused him enough hurt already, dickwad. And he’s still sleeping.”

Rikiga nodded solemnly. “I really am sorry. I should’ve looked after him better.”

 _No fucking duh._ “Why’d you do it in the first place?”

“Eh?”

“Why’d you take him to see me so late?”

“Oh, we were heading inside. We’d already gone to see you.”

“ _What_.”

So many thoughts ran through Nezumi’s head. Shion _had_ seen Eve – he had seen her in full get-up, he’d heard her sing, he’d seen her perform. He _knew_. What did Shion think of him now? Nezumi can’t have imagined his thoughts were anything good. Sure Shion was a nice guy, but Nezumi didn’t know where he stood on those kinds of matters. Why had Shion been there in the first place?

“Shit,” Nezumi muttered under his breath. He ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his temples. “Shit…”

“Oh, I don’t think it was such a bad thing.” Nezumi could feel Rikiga’s sleazy smile when he spoke.

“How could it be a good thing?”

“Shion was impressed. I knew he’d be blown away, but… I never could have imagined him with a look that lustful…He couldn’t keep his eyes off you. It was – actually kind of pathetic. He was utterly seduced.”

“Of course he was. Eve is a bombshell,” Nezumi said confidently, but he turned away so Rikiga couldn’t see his blush. _Shion looked at me like that?_ Maybe if he knew Eve turned Shion on, he would’ve introduced them a lot sooner…

_No. Stop thinking like that. You already brought him into your messy life, no need to pull him down deeper._

Besides, that was just Rikiga’s observation, and from Nezumi’s experience, Rikiga’s observations weren’t always accurate. The only way to know was to ask Shion himself…he didn’t know if he could bring himself to ask Shion, the innocent angel, a question like that.

“Nezumi?” Rikiga interrupted his thoughts. “You really care for him, don’t you?”

Nezumi didn’t say anything.

“It’s obvious. I bet even that crazy shelter owner downstairs can see it. You’re not the type to beat guys up unless they were attacking you. Hell, you even saved _my_ ass! I don’t think you did that for my sake. But thanks anyway.”

Nezumi scowled. It was true. But Nezumi knew that Shion would have been furious with him if he’d left Rikiga outside in the night.

“Don’t be mad at me, though. You’re the one who brought him into this. From the moment he set foot into your apartment, it was inevitable. You know that, right?”

“Shut up!” Nezumi growled. “You’re the one who caused this mess! _You_ brought him into this! I wasn’t the one who dragged him out at one in the morning!”

“And if I hadn’t? He would have found out eventually, Nezumi. He lives with you. You guys are friends. And if I’m not mistaken, he wants to be more than that.”

“…”

“He just wants you to trust him.”

Nezumi scoffed, “Yeah, well, I can’t exactly do that when he’s working behind my back.”

Nezumi headed back downstairs. He’d had enough of Rikiga’s bullshit.

But it wasn’t bullshit. He knew Rikiga was right – in the end it was his own fault. But how could he have known that he would end up caring about Shion? Oh fuck, there it was. He cared. He cared because Shion was kind to him – he was nice to him on the bus ride years ago, and that hadn’t changed after, what, four years? He treated Nezumi with reverence but he wasn’t afraid to call him out on his shit. He wanted to defend Nezumi. He risked him safety for Nezumi’s own sake. He was clever and resourceful and curious in the most irritating way, but Nezumi’s heart still thumped in his chest whenever Shion graced him with a smile.

He was a little bit in love with Shion. Maybe more than a little bit. And it scared the shit out of him.

* * *

 

When Nezumi returned to their apartment, Shion was still sleeping.

The first thing he did was feed the rats. He watched as they scratched around in their cage. Maybe Shion would play with them later. That’s probably cheer him up.

After making sure their cage was clean, Nezumi paced the living room, staring at his phone in his hand. The contact name Karan stared right back at him.

Should he tell her? He knew that she’d kill him if she found out. Especially since it was his fault. If he told her the truth…would she let Shion stay with him? Undoubtedly she’d force Shion to come back home.

That probably was the best course of action. It’d be safer for everyone.

But Nezumi couldn’t bring himself to begin a text. So he just paced the room, urging himself to make the right decision.

He still had the phone in his hand when Shion came out of the bedroom. His eyes were half open and he yawned, hunched over like an old man. There was a scrape on his forehead near his temple and a huge bruise around his throat.

“Nezumi…” he whispered hoarsely.

Nezumi got up and walked him to the bathroom, cleaned and bandaged the scrap on his face, and fetched him an icepack for his neck. He wrapped it in a towel and tied it around Shion’s neck like a choker so it would stay in place.

After that Shion sat on a stool in the kitchen. His eyes were sunken in and his expression was solemn. Nezumi had treated his wounds, but it seemed there were some wounds that he wouldn’t be able to stick a bandage over. Nezumi knew from personal experience that getting beaten up took a mental toll too.

“We need to talk,” Nezumi said after awhile of sitting in silence.

“…I know.”

Nezumi didn’t know how to start. There was so much to say; his head was filled with words but his throat held them captive.

Nezumi cleared his throat. “Let’s make food first.”

“Okay.”

“We’re making soup.”

“Soup?”

Nezumi glared at Shion, daring him to take this any further.

Shion looked down and nodded. “I understand. This is a soup kind of conversation.”

As Nezumi gathered ingredients from the cupboard, Shion stood in the middle of the kitchen floor. Nezumi gave him a questioning glance.

“I, um. I don’t actually know how to make soup,” Shion admitted.

Nezumi sighed. “Just watch, then. Sit on the couch or something. You shouldn’t be moving too much anyway, in your condition.”

Shion guiltily looked down at his feet. “I’ll stay in here, if you don’t mind. Can you…can you show me how to make it?”

Nezumi turned his attention away from the pot in his hand. Shion looked so fragile with his big brown eyes, so innocent and hopeful and Nezumi couldn’t help but say, “Fine.”

The little smile Shion gave him was enough of a reward.

 

“What kind of soup are we making?”

“What kind of soup do you want?”

Shion sat by the counter, swinging his legs around the stool, his head tilted in thought. It was undeniably cute, which irritated Nezumi because no one should look that cute right after they get up, especially when they were beaten to a pulp the night before.

“Chicken noodle soup,” Shion said after a while.

“Chicken noodle soup?”

Shion smiled at him. “Chicken noodle soup.”

“Aw, jeez,” Nezumi ran his hand over his face. “Of all the things you could have picked, of the wide variety of soups that exists across hundreds of cultures, thousands of flavors and combinations, you choose _chicken noodle soup_.”

Shion nodded, still smiling because he knew how pissed off Nezumi was that he wanted fucking _chicken noodle soup_.

Nezumi stared at him for another moment, waiting for him – silently _begging_ him – to change his mind, but Shion didn’t say anything else expect, “It’s a classic.”

Nezumi threw up his hands in defeat. “Fine! Fine, whatever, I don’t care, we’ll have fucking chicken noodle soup, the most white-washed commercialized soup there is that white suburban moms feed their two point five children when they get home from a soccer practice in their shiny suburbans – ”

Nezumi stopped when he realized Shion was shaking. Was he shivering? Nezumi didn’t think it was that cold… _No. No, he’s not shivering. He’s laughing._

“Hahaha! Nezumi, it’s just soup!” Shion clutched his stomach with one hand and the counter with the other. “I c-can’t believe…you’re getting so worked up over – over soup!”

Scowling, Nezumi turned away from Shion and started rummaging through their cabinets, ignoring the cackling behind him. _Psch, what does he know?_ “Soup is a delicacy, Shion. I was going to make us a fine, gourmet meal, but you _insult_ me by picking chicken noodle soup.”

Shion giggled. “Then, maybe you shouldn’t have let me pick, ‘Zumi.”

“I shouldn’t have,” Nezumi growled, partially at Shion’s comment and partially at the stupid nickname.

After stacking two cans on the counter – vegetable broth and chicken broth – he glanced over at Shion, who hadn’t yet responded. He had stopped laughing, and now looked wistfully at his palms.

“You’re right,” he said quietly. “It was dumb. It was just a joke.”

Nezumi held back a sigh. He forgot how sensitive Shion was. Now he felt bad.

He took Shion’s hand and pulled him off the stool. “C’mon,” he said, dragging Shion into the bedroom.

“Nezumi – ”

“I need to go to the store to buy a chicken and some vegetables. There’s no way you’re coming with me in that state. You need to lie down.”

Shion sat down on the bed and adjusted his ice pack, smiling once again.

“Thanks ‘Zumi,” he said. He hadn’t yet let go of Nezumi’s hand.

Fighting a blush, Nezumi scoffed and left for the store.

* * *

 

Nezumi returned with two sticks of celery, two carrots, an onion, a box of fusilli noodles (Shion had texted him insisting on this shape), and a ready-made chicken.

Shion was waiting for him, standing next to the stove with a little grin on his face.

“You seem eager,” Nezumi commented, lining up all the ingredients on the counter next to the stove.

“I am,” Shion replied, inspecting each ingredient as Nezumi laid them out.

Nezumi pulled out a pot and placed it on the stove and set a cutting board next to the sink. “I modified the recipe a bit. I don’t always use a ready-made chicken, but we don’t have time to wait around for a chicken to cook.” _I need to know why you remember._

Shion nodded. “It’s okay.”

Nezumi washed his hands, and had Shion wash his hands too, and put on an apron. It was pink with frills and it had _Kiss the Cook_ written across the top – it had been a gag gift from the guys at Elyurias, and the only reason he wore it was because it was the only apron he owned. And it had six pockets, which was a plus.

Shion was looking at him funny. His face was a little red, and he avoided looking Nezumi in the eye.

Nezumi smirked. “What, do you have a housewife kink or something? You think putting on an apron makes me your bitch?” Nezumi put his hands on his waist and jutted his hips to the side. To his delight, Shion’s face turned a shade darker.

“I – wha – no that’s…! That’s not - !”

Nezumi twirled around and laughed. “Don’t deny it, Shion, it’s not hard to read you. You’re an open book.”

Shion rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath something that sounded like, “That’s what you say now - ”

“Ready?” Nezumi interrupted, spinning a wooden spoon around in his hand. Immediately, Shion’s attitude turned, and he nodded eagerly, failing to hide a smile.

“I’m going to pour broth into the pot, and you’re going to wait for it to boil,” Nezumi said as he poured broth into the pot.

“…oh,” Shion said. “Just…just watch it?”

Nezumi waited for Shion to answer his own question.

“Okay, I guess.”

Nezumi rinsed to carrots and celery in the sink. “I’m going to chop up some vegetables now,” he narrated.

“Er, Nezumi, you know I have _some_ idea how to cook – ”

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Nezumi said as he pulled out a knife and started slicing the celery, “But the last time you tried to cook, the kitchen turned red.”

“Oh my god – are you ever going to let that go?”

“Nope. You will forever be haunted by the marina sauce incident as long as you’re in this kitchen.”

As they Nezumi continued preparing the soup – adding the vegetables to the broth, stirring in the noodles, sprinkling in strips of chicken, arguing over which spices to add – he wondered how long Shion _would_ be in this kitchen. What if Shion grew sick of him and left? He knew Shion was staying here to go to college, so he guessed he would stay at least a year. That is, if another incident like that one that happened last night didn’t happen again. And even if he did stay throughout college, at the very latest, he’d leave after four years, wouldn’t he? Would Nezumi even still be here after four years, still singing for Elyurias? He had never felt lonely before Shion had started living with him, but now, Nezumi couldn’t imagine coming home to an empty apartment.

The soup was prepared without a hitch. Nezumi insisted it was because he’d only let Shion stir the soup, and do nothing else, which Shion refuted by claiming the soup would have been even better if he had been allowed to help more.

“Next time,” Nezumi said.

“Next time?” Shion looked hopeful. “You want to do this again?”

“Unless you don’t.”

“Of course I do!”

“Except next time, we aren’t making fucking _chicken noodle soup_.”

* * *

Once they were seated, soup in their laps, on the red leather couch, Nezumi ran through all the questions he had. Rikiga had answered most of them about last night, but Nezumi wanted to ask Shion…he didn’t even know what he wanted to ask. What he thought of Eve? If he still wanted to even be Nezumi’s roommate?

Those weren’t even the questions that bothered him the most. If Shion really did feel uncomfortable about him now, they wouldn’t be sitting on the couch with soup in their laps. Shion wouldn’t have asked Nezumi to teach him how to make it.

What he really wanted to know was how Shion remembered the bus ride. Why hadn’t he told Nezumi in the first place?

Before he could get a word out, though, Shion brought up the topic himself. “So…you remember the field trip?” It was stated more so than asked.

Nezumi blew off a spoonful of soup, but it still seemed too hot to drink. “Yes.”

“And the bus ride home?” Shion’s tone waivered as he spoke.

Nezumi nodded. “And you didn’t forget either, did you?”

“No,” Shion said softly, staring into his bowl. He still hadn’t taken a sip.

“If you remembered, why didn’t you just say so when you first called?” Nezumi asked.

Shion set his bowl on the coffee table. _So much for a soup kind of conversation._ “I, um, didn't think you'd remember...and then, if you did, I thought _you'd_ say something.”

“...that was dumb.”

“Yeah.” Shion was smiling. Nezumi didn't know why, but it made him smile too.

“Do you, er, remember anything about it?”

Nezumi tilted his head in thought. “Hm, I remember you poking my leg and interrupting my quality music multiple times.”

Shion laughed quietly, causing the ice pack held against his throat to vibrate. “Sorry about that. But it was worth it. I got to listen to _Sound of Music_ with you. Remember that?”

 _How could I forget?_ Nezumi thought. _You were the first person I showed my music to._

“Hey, Nezumi?” Shion started. “Are you mad that I didn’t tell you earlier?”

Nezumi sipped his soup, thinking of an acceptable answer. He had spent all that time when they first met agonizing over knowing Shion but not really knowing him, irritated about remembering something Shion didn’t. But even though he felt like he should be mad, he really wasn’t.

Shion continued before Nezumi could get a word in. “In the end, I don't think it made a difference. I mean, would you have done anything differently?”

Nezumi thought about it. The only thing he could think of was that he would've teased Shion about his fourteen–year-old self.

But he didn't want to tease Shion right now. If he was honest with himself, he loved Shion for remembering him. That's what he did when he was on stage - made people remember him. That was the only way people would give him a passing glance. It was the only way for him to earn people’s respect. But Shion hadn't seen him perform back then. He just remembered Nezumi for being Nezumi, and that was both terrifying and exciting.

Not that there was any way he would tell Shion all of that. He settled on answering, “I would've asked why kept your hair white.”

Shion blushed and ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at his tufts of hair over his ears. “I just liked it. That's all.”

“Is that the only reason?” Nezumi pushed.

Blushing, Shion said, “And, well...don't laugh, okay?”

“No promises.”

Shion rolled his eyes. “You probably don't remember, but back then, you said that you liked my hair...and at that time I was really self conscious and I hated my hair, I just hated it because everyone _stared_ at me like I was some _freak_ and - and when you complemented me - it was kind of…validating. I thought you were pretty cool and you liked my hair so my hair had to be cool, too, right? So I just...kept it that way. After I accepted the way I looked, I kind of liked it. I liked that change, and I really didn't want to go back to the way it was before either.”

Nezumi watched Shion’s hands fidget in his lap as he talked. The whole explanation was such a _Shion_ thing to think. Some offhand comment that Nezumi made had actually meant something to him. Nezumi wasn't sure if he thought Shion was overreacting or if Nezumi himself had genuinely made a difference. Nezumi hadn't been genuine though, so it was probably just Shion being Shion.

“Tch. You shouldn't hold someone else's opinion so highly,” Nezumi said.

“Why's that a bad thing?” The way Shion asked it was so earnest, so innocent.

Nezumi scowled. “You only have yourself for survival. It's your opinion that matters, in the end.”

“But it'd be pointless to ignore everyone else's opinion.”

Nezumi didn't respond, so Shion continued. “I think it's important to have your own opinion too. But it helps when you hear what others think. It helps you make a more informed decision, when you have multiple perspectives from multiple people. It's kind of like gathering data. The most accurate calculations come from the widest data pool.”

“It's not the same though. Some people’s opinions are shit,” Nezumi protested.

Shion laughed. “Of course it's not the same. Some people’s opinions matter more than others. You just have to listen to people with a grain of salt. I hold your opinion very highly, because...well, I respect you.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why do you respect me?”

“I...” Shion stopped twiddling his fingers and sighed. “I like you Nezumi. You’re smart and you’re brave and you don't take anyone's shit. And...”

“And?”

Shion blushed, and Nezumi brushed away any butterflies fluttering in his chest. “You care. Sometimes you pretend not to but I know you do.” 

Nezumi scoffed.

“You do! You saved me from those guys last night, and you didn't want to drag me into that in the first place. Even back then - you saved me from falling into that tar pit.”

Nezumi looked into his soup. It was already getting cold. “I just would've been embarrassed for you if you had.” _Stupid Shion with his stupid observations._

Shion smiled. “Well in the end, you saved me, so you care.”

Nezumi didn't say anything. He wanted to deny it, but on some level, he knew Shion was right. He hadn’t realized it before, but now that he did, it was all so obvious.

Nezumi sighed, twirling his spoon around in his bowl. “Count yourself lucky then. I don’t care about a lot of people.”

“Why not?”

“Not a lot of them care about me.”

“But – ”

“It’s okay. It’s mutual neglect. It’s simpler that way. You never have to deal with anyone else’s shit.”

Shion suddenly scowled. The dark circles under his eyes and the bandage on his temple darkened his look. “Sorry to complicate things, then.”

Nezumi was taken aback by the sudden change in Shion’s temper. “Huh?”

“You said it was simpler if no one cared. But you care. And I care. So it must be complicated.”

Nezumi hated when Shion got like that – all tragic and depressed over something so small. It blinded his normally logical way of thinking. “That’s flawed logic, Shion. For one, that’s a bullshit oversimplification. And what you’re proposing is a faulty dilemma, too. Just because it’s not simple doesn’t mean it’s complicated.”

Shion smirked. “Keep talking like that, and you could be an English major.”

“I’m not pretentious enough.”

“I know a lot of people who’d say otherwise.”

“So do I.”

Shion started twiddling his thumbs again. “I don’t, though. I don’t think you’re pretentious.”

“Really?”

“Well, maybe a little bit,” Shion admitted with smirk.

At that moment, Nezumi hated Shion. He hated him because he just couldn’t hate him. He hated that Shion was different than everyone else he’d ever met. That he had lied when he said Shion was an open book – he was as unpredictable as the earthquakes that shook L.A. He hated that he made Nezumi care, even though Nezumi knew that caring led to suffering later on. He hated that Shion had remembered sitting next to him on that damn bus. And he hated himself for remembering Shion too.

“Hey Nezumi,” Shion said. “Are you, um, busy next Sunday?”

“Why?”

“I, um, have to do a project for one of my classes before the semester starts. We have to visit a museum, and well, I was thinking, maybe, um, that we could visit the Tar Pits together.”

Nezumi stared into his soup, watching the bits of onion and celery float around.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to – I mean, I just thought it’d be nice to, you know, recognize the past. Don’t worry about expenses, either, it’s relatively cheap! Plus I have to do the school work, of course!”

Nezumi watched Shion’s fingers fumble in his lap as he awaited Nezumi’s answer.

“…what time?”

Shion jumped up. “Awesome! I was thinking we could go for the afternoon? Let’s have lunch together first, and then we can get an excavation tour, I’ve always wanted to go on one of those…”

Shion started wandering away, mumbling to himself, lost in thought, but before he could leave, Nezumi grabbed his wrist.

If Shion was going to leave now, Nezumi needed to ask him one more thing. To see where he stood on that matter. “Shion…what were you doing with Rikiga last night?”

Shion blushed and whispered, “It’s a long story.” He got up and left the room, mumbling about excavation tours and tar pits under his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things:  
> \- Do you guys have any cameos you want to see, of other characters from different anime? More snk babes? Sports anime dorks? I might need some more characters later on and I want to know who you guys want to see.  
> \- I love chicken noodle soup. You guys don't understand how much I love it.  
> \- Sorry about the rhetorical fallacy references, I was studying for Lang and was in an English class mode.  
> \- Let me know what you guys thought of this...I'm not super happy with this chapter D:


	11. Shion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAH I'M SORRY IT TOOK A WHILE but for the record this is the longest chapter yet, just 30 words short of 9000!! Man I'm drained...
> 
> Some important things:  
> \- Did you guys happen to know that under the No. 6 category on AO3, this fic has the most comments? THAT’S THANKS TO YOU GUYS!!! Thank you so much for your support and leaving so many great comments, I can’t begin to describe how much it means to me!  
> Not only that, but this finally hit 2,000 hits!! I’m so happy, thank you guys!!
> 
> \- Would you guys be interesting in reading side fics? I have some in mind, so like maybe when this is finished, I could continue writing a little more? 
> 
> \- I was thinking of putting a playlist together for this fic on 8tracks or soundcloud...would you guys be interested in that? the thing is, as you guys know if you have read the notes previously, I don’t know any songs D: PLEASE GIVE ME SUGGESTIONS seriously I will put any of your suggestions on there. Of course, there'd be a lot of musical tunes in there too...

In the end, Shion decided not to tell his mother about the guys who beat him up. If she found out, there was no way she’d let him continue living on his own. But he didn’t think he could pull the blanket over Safu’s eyes as easily.

 **From Safu:** _Did you sign up for Calculus this semester? I have a question about the curriculum._

 **From Safu:** _I haven’t heard from you in awhile. Are you okay?_

 **From Safu:** _Answer me, Shion._

 **From Safu:** _If you don’t call me soon I’m coming over._

 **From Safu:** _And telling your mom._

The last text had been sent a couple hours ago, before he had made soup with Nezumi. He tried to figure out the best way to inform her that he was recently bedridden with bruises. Meeting her in person so she could observe his feeble state close up probably wasn’t the best idea. If he only called her, she’d probably bust her way into their apartment to see the damage first hand. _Maybe I should Skype her._ That way she’d be able to see that he was all right and, hopefully, the bad connection would mask his haggard appearance a little bit.

He texted her warning her he was going to call and then set up his laptop in the living room, next to the rats’ cage. Shion was surprised that Nezumi had wanted to stay home to look after him, but Nezumi reluctantly left once Shion insisted he could take care of himself for the night. So he knew his conversation would be uninterrupted, and he didn’t have to monitor his conversation.

Safu answered on the second ring.  Despite the pixel-y camera, Shion could see the concern in her eyes.

“Shion! Is that a bandage? You’re hurt!”

“Yeah, about that – ”

Now she looked mad. “What happened?! Tell me!”

Shion explained what had happened, leaving out his connection to Rikiga. At first, Shion had had qualms about telling her about Nezumi, but he knew Safu was very accepting and a good secret keeper.

“Did you tell Karan yet?” she asked when he was finished.

“I’m not going to tell her.”

“Why not?”

Shion was silent. He knew Safu knew why.

“Fine. Don’t tell her. But Shion, you need to report this.”

“I don’t like dealing with the police.”

“Too bad. You have to. Promise me you will?”

“I don’t have their names, and I didn’t even get a good look at them!”

“Promise me.”

“No! I’m not dealing with the police, Safu. Just drop that idea.”

She said, “Fine,” and sighed. “If you won’t go to the police, then at least tell that club you went to.”

“Huh?”

“You said those guys were at the club that night, right? And that it looked like they hated Nezumi? You should probably tell the club owners not to let them in. They might still want to hurt Nezumi.”

“You have a point. I doubt Nezumi would tell them. I guess I’ll do that once I’m feeling better.”

Safu looked satisfied. “You should probably get some rest. And change that bandage. And ice your bruises.”

“I know. I’ll go now – ”

“And Shion?”

“Yeah.?”

“Two things.”

“Okay…”

“First, is that scratching noise…you know…the rats?”

Shion smiled. He’d told Safu about his new pets a while ago, but she hadn’t believed him. He told Safu to wait, put his laptop down and pulled one of the rats out of their cage.

“This is Cravat,” he said. Shion carefully held him up so Safu could see him. “There’s two more, Moonlit and Hamlet.” He turned the computer so Safu could see them.

“I think I believe you now.”

Shion laughed as he stroked Cravat, who had burrowed himself into Shion’s hands. “They’re cute, aren’t they? I think Nezumi thinks so too, even if he won’t admit it.”

Safu looked a little surprised, but nodded.

“Second thing: I thought you said you weren’t attracted to girls.”

“…huh?” Safu had a smirk on her face. It unnerved Shion whenever she looked like that.

“Don’t pretend. You were totally attracted to Eve, I could see it in your eyes.”

Shion blushed. “Safu, we’ve been over this, I’m – ”

Her smirk morphed into a wicked grin that made Shion shiver. “I know, I know, you’re gay. So maybe this is one of your kinks? Or maybe it’s just Nezumi, then? I know! It’s both, isn’t it?”

“Safu!” Shion’s face was bright red.

“Hm, judging by your reaction right now, you must have been utterly seduced that night. I bet you even popped a – ”

“Bye Safu!” Shion interrupted and ended the call before Safu could get out another embarrassing word.

The moment after the call disconnected, a light knocking came from the door.

Unsure of who would be knocking this late at night, (especially since no one had ever knocked before) Shion put Cravat back in his cage and slowly opened the door a sliver.

“Oh good, it’s you.” Rikiga stood awkwardly outside the door. Relieved it wasn’t a burglar or murderer, Shion opened the door wider. “Is Nezumi here?” Rikiga asked.

“No,” Shion shook his head.

Rikiga twisted his newsboy cap in his hands. “Do you…do you mind if I step in for a moment?”

Shion opened up the door all the way and let Rikiga in. He had only just stepped in the doorway when he gave a high-pitched shriek.

“What are those?!” Rikiga pointed with a shaking finger towards the rats. Slowly, he backed up until his back hit the wall.

Shion held back his laughter. To think a man like Rikiga would be scared of some rats. “They’re my pets. Actually Inukashi found them – ”

“But why are they _here_?! You k-know we’re not suppose to have p-pets, right?” mumbled Rikiga.

“Inukashi owns a shelter.”

“I – well – ” Rikiga sputtered. “That – whatever, why _rats_?!”

Shion gently took Rikiga’s arm and led him inside. “It’s okay, they’re in a cage, so they won’t get to you. They’re harmless, anyway. Well, mostly harmless.”

Shion felt Rikiga shiver. “Here, let’s go into the kitchen.”

Shion sat Rikiga down on one stool and sat on the other. “What was it you came for?”

Rikiga sighed and placed his twisted cap on the counter. “First, I came here to apologize. I’m really, really sorry I put you in that situation, Shion. It was irresponsible of me. I should have known better, and – and you’re h-hurt because of my mistake and I’m s-sorry!” Rikiga burst into tears, wailing into his meaty hands. Shion handed him a napkin, which Rikiga took with a shaking hand, and patted him on the shoulder.

“It’s okay, Mr. Rikiga,” Shion said. “It’s not your fault.”

And it wasn’t. Shion was the one who’d wanted to go out that night, Shion had been the one who’d stupidly tried to fight back when he should have called for help or run away. The truth was, he didn’t feel regret. He’d achieved his goal that night, and it would have been fine if not for the unexpected, unpredictable event at the end. He wouldn’t have changed a thing if he could go back – he still would have gone with Rikiga, and watched Eve’s performance, and fought those men (except maybe he would’ve put up more of a fight.)

“It’s my fault,” Shion said. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“But I do!” Rikiga cried. He blew his nose hard into the napkin, causing Shion to grimace at the nasty sound. “You’re Karan’s boy…for her s-sake I should have done a better job p-protecting you….knowing your past I-I should have looked out for you more…I didn’t want to bring back…memories…”

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Shion told Rikiga. _If only that were true._

Shion handed Rikiga another napkin and waited another few minutes for him to dry his eyes. After his last sniffle, Rikiga said, taking on a much more serious tone, “There’s one more thing.”

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and began explaining. “I, uh, a few months back I had some guys after me. Nothing big, see, it was just, well, there was some bad blood between us, and I feared for the safety of my apartment. So I, uh, I installed some security cameras around the building.”

“…what?”

Rikiga laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. “They’re pretty small, state of the art and everything…they were put here on a day when both Inukashi and Nezumi were gone…and they’ve been here for awhile now. The guys I was waiting for never came, or at least they haven’t come yet, so I, well, they’ve been on since then.”

Shion wasn’t sure what to think of that. He was kind of freaked out that Rikiga could have been watching his movements this whole time. He knew if Nezumi found out, he’d been beyond furious.

“So the point is – they were on that night. They caught our attackers on camera."

In that case, Shion thought he could deal with a little interference of his privacy.

“That’s great! Do you have the video?”

Rikiga nodded. “Right here on my phone. Though I’m not quite sure what to do with it. I don’t think the police would be very happy to find out I’ve installed these cameras, or that I’m – well, the point is, I probably shouldn’t deal with the police. I just wanted you to know that I had this.”

“Could you send me that video?” And idea sparked in Shion’s mind. “I want to show it to the owners of _Elyurias_ , so they know to kick these guys out next time.”

Rikiga grinned. “Sure thing. I think that’s a great idea. I know the bouncers at that place, and I’m sure if you tipped them off, they wouldn’t mind giving those assholes a beating if they ever show up.”

After Shion received the video file from him, Rikiga left, carefully avoiding getting too close to the rats.

Shion wasn’t as shaken as he thought he’d be about the whole event. He ached all over, but his mind was at peace. Especially after that conversation with Nezumi. It was a relief to finally get that truth out. It was like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders, one he didn’t realize he’d been caring until it was finally gone. And now that it was gone, he felt closer to Nezumi than ever.

But there was still distance between them. Shion could only blame himself for that. He’d created that distance by hiding the full story of that night – what he’d been doing, what he’d seen. He didn’t want Nezumi to know that he’d gone behind his back, or that the reason he’d been out in the first place was for Nezumi’s sake. Though, it was really more for Shion’s own sake, to tame his hungering curiosity.

Not only that, but Shion still kept an important part of his past hidden from Nezumi. Not that he was hiding it – he just purposefully never brought it up, and for good reason, too. No way was he going to drag Nezumi into this. It was his problem, and he’d hate for Nezumi to suffer because of it. So, for as long as Shion could, he would keep it hidden. But with the unexpected event next month, there was no telling how long he _could_ keep it hidden.

* * *

  _He’s sitting at the kitchen table with a fork in his hand. His mom, wearing a purple and blue apron, sets a plate of cherry cake in front of him. She smiles and tells him, “Go on, eat up Shion.”_

_But something’s wrong with the cake because it doesn’t smell like wild cherries and sugar it smells like alcohol and blood -_

_The lights turn off and Shion’s scared he’s so scared because when the lights go out his mom disappears and he calls out to her “Mom! Mooom! Where are you?” but she doesn’t answer the scent of booze and blood fills his nose and tears stream down his face in silent rivers and all he can hear is the scratchy breathing of someone right behind him._

_“Mom?” he whispers but he knows it’s not her because his mother always keeps the lights on and right now it’s so dark he can’t even see the cake in front of him._

_A burly arm yanks his shoulder and he screams as a voice slurs in his ear –_

_“It’s your fault.”_

 

Shion shot up straight. He was sweating and his heart was racing and he was breathing heavily. He took a moment to steady his breathing and extricate himself from his sheets.

_In, out. In, out._

“Are you okay?”

“Ahhh!” Shion jumped out of bed. In the dim light of the room he could see Nezumi sitting with his legs crossed in the middle of his bed. His hair was loose and matted and he looked expressionless as he stared at Shion.

“I – did I - ”

“Wake me up? Yeah. You were screaming in your sleep,” Nezumi said, his gaze unwavering.

“I’m sorry…” Shion sat back down on the bed. He knew this wasn’t the first time this had happened since he moved to the apartment, but he did hope this was the only time he’d woken Nezumi.

“It’s fine,” Nezumi said, uncrossing his legs and lying down on his bed. “But that sounded like a nasty dream.”

“It was…”

“What was it about?” Nezumi asked.

Shion didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anyway he was going to tell Nezumi about all of that – especially before their…date. Was it even a date? Shion had a feeling Nezumi didn’t think so, but that was fine with him, just as long as he got to be with Nezumi.

“It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why not? You worried about me when I was bloody and bruised. Am I not allowed to return the favor now?”

_This is different._

“I’m making breakfast. Is there anything you want?” Shion stood up and made his way towards to kitchen, ignoring Nezumi’s question because he knew he wouldn’t be able to give a satisfactory answer.

“How about a bowl of hypocrisy? It’d be the perfect complement to your attitude.”

Shion walked out of the bedroom rolling his eyes.

* * *

 Later in the week, he decided to fulfill Safu’s request and talk to the owners of Elyurias. He didn’t want to go back to there, not without Nezumi or Rikiga. But he didn’t want to bother Rikiga (or get him in trouble) and Nezumi didn’t know that he knew, so he didn’t have much of a choice but to go alone.

That was how he came to be standing in front of the big writing that read _Elyurias_ in unlit light bulbs. The sign he remembered so vividly from that night looked much less intimidating in the daylight.

It seemed like the bar was a restaurant during the day. There were a few people sitting at tables, eating elaborate meals, and a few people sat at the bar, conversing with the bartenders. A waitress with a brunette ponytail came up to him and asked, “Can I show you to a table?”

Shion shook his head. “I’d like to speak with your manager, please.”

Her face fell. “Is it about the food?”

“No.”

She grinned again. “Okay, just wait by the bar, I’ll get him out in a minute.”

Shion sat near where he had the other night. It was funny to see the place during the day: it was like seeing a famous actress without her make-up, or a movie without all the special effects. Shion now noticed that the wallpaper was faded and ripping, and the wooden stools and counter were scratched and stained. The air seemed dead and the people seemed worn, like the room had been sucked dry of its energy and bustling activity that was present at night.

“Hey there!” a bartender called. She leaned on the table in front of Shion, setting her hand in their chin. She had long brown hair back in a ponytail and eccentric brown eyes behind wire rim glasses. “You have interesting hair. Did you dye it? Oh, and can I get you anything to drink? Oh look, you have an interesting scar on your face too. That’s a pretty nasty bruise on your neck, too. Where’d you get it?”

Shion wasn’t sure how to approach this person. She seemed to have quite a character.

She stuck out her hand. “I’m Hanji, by the way, nice to meet you. They/their pronouns, please.”

Shion reached out and shook their hand. “Shion, the pleasure’s mine. And, um he/him pronouns for me.”

Hanji smiled and winked. “I like you, kid. Want a beer?”

Shion shook his head. “I’m, uh, I’m actually just here to see the manager.”

“Oh, you want to talk to Erwin? You sure about that? He’s a pretty boring guy, if you want to know the truth. He might look like Captain America or whatnot, but he’s as dull as a rock.”

“Oh, well, it’s actually about – ”

“He’s right there, Commander,” the waitress from before interrupted him.

“I told you guys not to call me that.”

Shion turned around. The waitress was walking away, leaving someone Shion could only assume was the manager. Hanji was right; he did look like Captain America with his neat blonde hair and sharp blue eyes and strong build. He walked over to Shion with a kind smile and held out his hand, “I’m Erwin Smith, the manager of this place, how can I help you, Mr…”

“Just Shion’s fine, thanks.”

“Nice to meet you, Just Shion.”

Hanji rolled their eyes. “Excuse his dad jokes.”

Ignoring Hanji, Erwin asked, “So what is it I can help you with, Shion?”

“It’s kind of a long story…”

Shion explained to them how he and Nezumi were roommates and how he’d gotten beat up (“Ah, that would explain the bruise”) and was saved by Nezumi, and how he thought that when Nezumi had come home the other night with cuts and bruises he suspected it was the same guys.

“I remember them saying to me, when he was pointing to his broken nose, ‘Your tranny gave that to me. I’m gonna make ‘em pay for that.’ I think it’s pretty obvious that Nezumi had run into them before…I think it happened here, too.”

Erwin nodded. “I knew Eve was lying about getting mugged. No way he’d end up like that from a mere mugger.”

“Man, I’d hate to see the other guys,” Hanji commented. They’d been listening in on the conversation while wiping down the counter. “You’re Eve’s a tough bitch, you know.”

Shion nodded, smiling. “I know.”

“I appreciate you telling me this,” Erwin said, “but I don’t know what you want me to do about it…I would go to the police but there’s not very much to go on.”

Shion shook his head vigorously. “That won’t be necessary. I just wanted to tell you so that if those guys show up again, you know who they are.”

Erwin scratched his chin. “I don’t know what we can do with such a vague description – ”

“Wait,” Shion pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I have video of them. But…it’s kind of illegal video, so…”

“Ah,” Hanji said. “That makes sense. Why do you have it? How’d you get it?”

“My friend who brought me here, Rikiga– ”

“You can stop right there!” Hanji said. “We know Rikiga. He has secret cameras, doesn’t he? I’m not surprise. I’d probably be more surprised if he didn’t.”

“Do you mind sending me the video?” Erwin interrupted. “I’d like to send it to our bouncers, that way they’ll know what to do if they see these guys.”

Shion handed Erwin his phone to enter his number while Hanji cackled, howling, “Oh that’s perfect! You should meet our bouncers, Shion, they’re monsters! If you think Eve is tough, wait ‘til you see these guys. If those douches who beat up you and Eve ever show their faces here again, they’ll be ripped to shreds! Reiner and Bertl are as big as giants with matching muscles to boot, and Annie is the most terrifying chick I know, even if she’s only, like, two feet tall! Don’t let her hear you say that, though, she’d probably knock you out.”

Shion gulped and nodded. He was happy he’d gone to Erwin and not these mysterious bouncers.

“Well, thank you for coming to me, Shion,” Erwin said, handing Shion his phone back. “I appreciate you coming to me about this. We want _Elyurias_ to be safe for our employees, and I’m very upset to hear about what happened to Eve. I think I’ll have a word with him – ”

“No, no, no! That’s fine. He doesn’t need a word,” Shion interrupted. “I, um, he doesn’t exactly know that I was here. And I’d prefer to keep it that way. Besides, it doesn’t really matter as long as he’s safe, right?”

Erwin and Hanji exchanged a glance. Shion wasn’t sure what it meant, all he knew was that they were smiling at each other, like they knew something he didn’t. That made sense, considering that they probably knew Nezumi a lot longer than Shion did.

“If that’s how you want it, okay,” Erwin said.

“Thank you very much. I’m going to head out now.” Shion hopped off the stool and headed out the door.

“You’re welcome back here anytime, Shion!” Hanji called behind him. “Come visit Captain Tight-Ass here and me sometime! I’m sure Eve would love to see you here too!”

Shion turned around and waved before walking outside. _That could have gone a lot worse_ , he thought to himself.

* * *

 The days dragged out slowly until finally, it was Sunday. After a week of resting, he felt much better both physically and mentally. His bruises were starting the fade and the cut on his forehead had scabbed over, and though the bruising around his neck was still pretty large, the pain had subsided.

Shion got up early and made a quick breakfast of toast and eggs for the both of them. He wanted them to have a fresh start to the day. He had it all planned out – after an energizing breakfast, Shion would help Inukashi for the morning, and Nezumi said he had to go shopping. Then they would meet back at the apartment at eleven, and walk to the bus station to hop on the 11:30 metro to Wilshire Station. The ride would take around an hour, so they would arrive at around 12:30. Then they’d have lunch at a restaurant Safu recommended, and after that, get tickets to the La Brea Tar Pits. They’d have the rest of the afternoon to look around at the museum, the tar pits, the gift shop and everything else before walking back to the station and riding the 6:00 metro home.

Home. That’s how Shion had come to think of this place. He was proud to call this little apartment he shared with Nezumi his home.

Nezumi was still asleep by nine o’clock. Worried he wouldn’t be able to eat his breakfast while it was hot, Shion crept back into the bedroom to wake him up.

Nezumi slept soundly in his bed, with his covers pulled up to his chin. He looked so relaxed and peaceful while sleeping that Shion almost didn’t want to wake him up. But his impatience won him over and he lightly shook Nezumi’s shoulder.

“Nezumi,” he whispered, “wake up.”

Nezumi’s grey eyes flashed open and he shot up as quick as lightning, grabbing Shion’s wrist and pinning him onto the bed.

His eyes were wide with fright for an instant as he gripped Shion’s wrist with one hand and throat with the other. He was breathing hard and with his messy, matted hair, he looked almost like a wild animal.

The moment he realized it was Shion, he relaxed. “Shit, what was that for?” he muttered sleepily.

Shion extricated himself from Nezumi’s grip and sat on the bed. “I wanted to wake you up.”

Wiping his eyes, Nezumi mumbled, “I could’ve killed you.”

“You wouldn’t have.”

“I thought you were a threat – ” Nezumi yawned, “ – and if I hadn’t realized it was you, I might’ve strangled you. Don’t wake me up like that again, okay?”

Nezumi’s words went over Shion’s head as he starred at Nezumi. A blush spread on his face.

“Um…’Zumi, where’s your shirt?”

Nezumi looked down at his bare chest. He looked back up at Shion’s blushing face and rolled his eyes. “It was too hot last night for a shirt, you perv.”

“That wasn’t – I – wait – ” Shion struggled to find the right words, but Nezumi just smirked at him with that stupid shit-eating grin. “You’re the perv! You were the one just pinning me against the bed without your shirt on!”

The smirk slid off Nezumi’s face. He pointed his finger in Shion’s face and said, “That’s your fault.” He swiveled around and walked into the bathroom, saying as he went, “I’m going to shower. Don’t come bursting in on me, perv.”

But Shion wasn’t listening to Nezumi. He was looking at his back. It was a given that Nezumi had a nice back, broader than his own with lean muscles, but a pattern of scars was painted across it. Shion had seen these scars before, early on, but he’d never gotten a good look at them. From the glimpsed he’d seen, though, he’d guess they were burns. Pretty nasty ones, too.

It sparked his curiosity. Where had the scars come from? How had Nezumi gotten them? When did he get them? Nezumi had talking briefly about his past before, with foster parents, but he hardly knew anything, and that irked him even more. It was just one more mystery about Nezumi waiting to be solved. 

 

 

Before they left, Nezumi handed Shion his signature lime-green scarf.

“What’s this for?” Shion asked.

“Your neck, duh,” Nezumi responded.

“Um…”

Nezumi rolled his eyes. “I guess you forgot, but you have two gross handprints on your neck. I thought it might scare the children.”

Shion touched his neck lightly. He _had_ forgotten. The once purple and black marks were fading to a greenish yellow, but were still clearly visible. “Oh…right.”

Shion wrapped the scarf around his neck. He was surprised by how soft it was; it felt like silk on his fingertips. He held it up to his nose to find that it smelled like Nezumi. It wasn’t a specific scent, just…Nezumi.

Grinning, Shion thanked him.

Nezumi scoffed. “Just didn’t want you to have to walk around LA looking like the delinquent you aren’t. C’mon, let’s go.”

* * *

 Ten minutes later found them on sitting side by side on the bus to the La Brea Tar Pits.

“Shouldn’t you have a notebook or something?” Nezumi asked once the bus took off. “Or a camera? You said this was for a project for school, don’t you need to take notes at least?”

“Oh, ah, well, for this we’re just supposed to write about the experience. We don’t need pictures or notes. I’ll just…write about it once we get home.”

That was a lie. The other part was a lie, too. There hadn’t been a project, he just wanted to visit the Tar Pits with Nezumi, but he didn’t know if Nezumi would go with him just for fun, so he’d made up an excuse.

He hadn’t even thought to take a notebook. He’d been so absorbed in the idea of a – an _outing_ with Nezumi that he’d forgotten about the lie he’d initially told him.

Is that what Nezumi thought this was? An outing? That was an umbrella term that Shion wasn’t quite sure how to use. An outing could entail a lot of things…was this just a fun visit with a friend? Or did Nezumi think this was a…date?

Shion didn’t know what it was. He didn’t really care, either; he just wanted to spend more time with Nezumi. In fact, it was better if it wasn’t a date.

A tap on his shoulder pulled him out of his thoughts. A graceful hand held an ear bud out to him.

“I don’t want to talk,” Nezumi said, putting to ear bud in Shion’s hand. “You said you wanted to reminisce, right? Let’s reminisce, then.”

Shion smiled and put the ear bud on.

 

 _“ - gular sensation, every little step she takes_  
_One thrilling combination, every move that she makes_  
_One smile and suddenly nobody else will do_  
_You know you'll never be lonely with you-know-who!”_

 

Nezumi leaned closer to Shion and said, “I think we’ve got a little more mature than _Sound of Music_ , don’t you think?”

Shion nodded, trying to ignore the butterflies he felt from Nezumi’s warm presence so close beside him, and from the low tambour of his smooth voice.

They listened to the entire soundtrack of _A Chorus Line_ on the way to the station. It really did remind Shion of that day four years ago. Except instead of leaving the Tar Pits, they were heading there, and Nezumi had been the one to sit next to Shion, not the other way around. And, of course, the songs were different.

What had changed since then? In some ways, it felt like everything was exactly the same. He’d been settling into a new place back then, just as he was now. Safu had been as nagging as ever. The crowded bus, Nezumi by his side, the musical music, it was like déjà vu, it was like a dream that kept repeating itself.

But Shion knew that that was a fantasy. Tearing down the illusionary curtain revealed a much different situation. Now, he in Nezumi weren’t strangers, but friends. Roommates, actually. Shion was starting college rather than a switching to a run-down middle school. He had friends – Inukashi and Rikiga and maybe even the guys at Elyurias – in addition to his mother and Safu. He owned rats, he washed dogs. He’d seen a drag queen performance. And he could, theoretically, make soup.

Back then, the situation with No. 6 had loomed behind, but now, it loomed ahead.

Shion drifted in and out of consciousness for the rest of the ride, his head spinning with thoughts of the past and the future and of how he and Nezumi would fit into all of that.

 

Shion was a very precise person, and liked to stick to schedules accordingly. However, he changed his plans once they reached the station.

“Nezumi, let’s eat lunch here instead.” They stood outside a restaurant that read _Beehive Café_ in cursive yellow lettering above the entrance.

“Why here?”

“It’s my favorite restaurant.” They walked inside, Shion glancing around at the familiar yellow accents and layout. “But I didn’t know they were a chain. Actually, I think Safu told me about it a while ago. She said she saw one near her workplace.”

“So they’ve become a chain, huh? A quaint little place like this, I bet they’re multiplying. Just popping up on the neck of every street, probably.” Nezumi scowled, eyeing the place with a look of disgust.

“Do you…want to go somewhere else?” Shion asked, disheartened. He should have stuck with the plan and went to the other restaurant. Obviously Nezumi wasn’t going to like a place like this.

Nezumi sighed, and said, “Fine. It’s fine. You said it was you’re favorite, right? It can’t be that bad.

“Wait, actually…” Nezumi put his finger on his chin, as if lost in thought.

“Your taste can’t be that good either if your favorite soup is chicken noodle soup – ”

“Shut up.” Shion turned away from Nezumi and walked towards to counter to order his food, leaving Nezumi laughing to himself.

They picked a table in the corner to sit at, away from the window in the very back. They each had a sandwich that they ate in silence, simply enjoying the comfortable presence of the other. Once they were done, Nezumi admitted, “It wasn’t terrible. Much better than chicken noodle soup.”

“I don’t know if it was better than chicken noodle soup,” Shion said, sick of Nezumi’s teasing, “but it was worlds better than Macbeth soup.”

Nezumi choked on his last bite of sandwich and washed it down with a gulp of water. Shion tried to restrain from laughing at Nezumi’s red and angry face.

“You’ll pay for that one,” he said once his throat was cleared.

Shion smirked, happy to have gotten one over Nezumi. Shion liked him and respected him, but Nezumi could still be an ass.

An attendant came and cleared their table. “Would you boys like anything else?” she asked with a kind smile.

Nezumi scowled to himself, and then shot her a seductive grin. “We’re not boys,” he purred, fingering his bottom lip.

Shion turned away. He didn’t want Nezumi to notice the effect he had on him, especially when his teasing wasn’t even directed at Shion.

The attendant, though, blushed bright red. “Oh! Um, I…”

Taking pity on her, Shion said, “I’ll have the kid’s sundae, please.”

The attendant’s blush faded, and she regained her composure. Nezumi’s seductive persona disappeared.

“What?” Shion asked.

Nezumi ran his hand over his face as the attendant said, “One _kid’s_ sundae for you _boys_ , coming right up.”

“Oh.”

The attendant walked away before he could say anything else. “Sorry,” he told Nezumi, who lay on the table with his hands over his head.

“I don’t know whether to smack you or to laugh,” he said, his voice muffled as he spoke against the table.

“You could do neither,” Shion suggested. They only had to wait a couple of minutes for the attendant to bring out the sundae.

“Thanks,” Shion mumbled as she set it in front of him. Nezumi glared at her, but her plastic smile didn’t waiver. Shion concluded she was tough to withstand Nezumi’s menacing gaze.

“Enjoy, boys,” she told them.

“Enjoy, boys,” Nezumi mocked with an irritating falsetto once she walked away. “Listen to that bitch.”

Shion took a scoop of ice cream, careful not to get any on Nezumi’s scarf. It was really good, but that wasn’t surprising. He’d ordered sundaes here before and had never been disappointed yet. “We do look pretty young,” he countered.

“We live on our own. You’re a college student, and I’m a – well, we’re not _boys_.”

Shion swirled the ice cream around in his bowl, taking his time eating and savoring every bite.

“Want any?” he asked Nezumi.

“What am I, a kid?”

“Yes.”

“Hey – ”

“Only kids get mad when someone calls them a boy.”

Nezumi scowled while Shion continued to enjoy his ice cream, silently basking in pride for shutting Nezumi down again.

“Oi,” Nezumi said once he was done. “You have some – ” he gestured to the side of his mouth.

Shion wiped his face with a napkin.

“Other side,” Nezumi said.

Shion blindly rubbed around, watching Nezumi as he got steadily more impatient.

“Let me – ” Nezumi reached across the table and leaned in towards Shion. Shion froze as Nezumi ran his thumb across Shion’s cheek. His fingers felt light and delicate against his skin, unlike the fingers of any other man he’d known.

Nezumi sat back and absentmindedly licked his finger. _Oh shit._

Shion unfroze and blushed. This time he couldn’t hide it. He turned his head away and hid his blush with his hand.

“Oh,” he heard Nezumi whisper. _Oh_ is damn right. In what world does a guy platonically rub ice cream off their friend’s face and _lick_ it afterward?

 _Maybe Nezumi didn’t mean it platonically_ , one part of his brain said.

But no, that wasn’t it. And even if it was, Shion didn’t want it to be. He’d already told himself that he couldn’t be with Nezumi that way, and he was fine with that.

_Then why’d you invite him out like this? Didn’t you want this to be a date?_

_Shut up._

* * *

When they had visited the Tar Pits four years ago, Shion remembered barely having time to look around. He remembered rushing through the museum, barely getting a look at the excavation pits, and in general not being able to see over everyone else’s heads. That was probably why he’d gotten so close to the edge of one of the pits when he could, which led to Nezumi saving his neck for the first time.

This time Shion wanted to get a good look at everything. Sure, he had planned because he want to be with Nezumi, but he also wasn’t going to waste this opportunity.

He remembered one thing with clarity, though. At the entrance there was a lake. And in the lake was a statue of an elephant-like creature trying to crawl out of the lake, reaching its trunk towards more elephant-like creature on the land. Seeing it back then had made him sad. He knew it was just a statue, but he couldn’t help feeling sorry for it. The detail was too realistic; the artist was able to show the pain of this animal, caught in the tar, stuck, unable to get out. It resonated with Shion now, just as it had then. It made him think of No. 6.

Once they bought their tickets, they started walking through the museum. Shion was intrigued by the numerous fossils. He thought the whole excavation process was amazing, and told Nezumi so.

“Can you believe how well persevered all these bones are? It’s crazy to think that they’re in such a perfect state after being pulled out of tar. I mean, I can’t even imagine what these archaeologists have to do to get them free without damaging them, it must be a grueling process. You know they’ve been searching this site for more than a century? I think they started working here back in 1914 or something. Can you believe that they’re still finding new things every day? And they haven’t just found anything here either, they’ve found multiple complete or mostly complete skeletons of so many animals! There are so many different kinds, too, look there! Can you believe they found so many dire wolf skulls here? There’s a whole wall of them! And c’mon, look over here at this smilodon skeleton – it’s a kind of saber tooth cat, and it says here it’s the state fossil of California. I didn’t even know we had state fossils, did you? Anyway, I know this place is known for the smilodon, but I’m really looking forward to seeing the mammoth they have. I heard it was recovered really early one, too. Do you remember any of this Nezumi? Because I remember a lot of it, but seeing it again makes me really happy.”

Shion stopped talking when he noticed Nezumi was starring at him. He was in a daze, and there was a tiny, faint smile on his lips. Nezumi looked right at him, but he didn’t seem to notice Shion looking back.

“Um, Nezumi?”

Nezumi snapped up. “What?” he asked.

“You were, um…” Nezumi raised an eyebrow as if he was daring Shion to finish his sentence. “Never mind,” he said instead.

The continued walking through the museum, Nezumi following Shion as he observed the exhibits of bones and models and wallpaper that explained the history. They watched paleontologists working on bones through a glass wall, looking at bones under microscopes and chipping off old bits of tar. Nezumi followed Shion closely the whole time, with an air of nonchalance, until they got to the last exhibition hall.

Shion walked into the hall with his eyes wide, turning his head this way and that to get a good look at all of the skeletons around the room. Suddenly his arm was tugged behind him and he almost toppled over.

“Whoa!”

Nezumi had attached himself to Shion’s arm, and a look of discomfort contorted his face. His fingers dug into Shion’s wrist and shoulder, and he could feel how tense Nezumi was. His bright grey eyes, opened wide, seemed almost fearful as he stared at something directly across from him.

“Are you okay?” Shion asked. A chill overcame him; if Nezumi was afraid then it must have taken something really scary to get him like this. Shion anxiously followed Nezumi’s gaze to skeleton across the room.

It was [a giant bird](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fossil_species_in_the_La_Brea_Tar_Pits#/media/File:Gymnogyps_amplus.jpg), its skeleton modeled so that it faced forward and its wings were fully extended. Behind it was a painting of what the bird might have looked like in its prime, with its full, black and white plumage. It was flanked by two other skeletons with like-paintings behind them as well.

Shion was confused. “I think those are California condors, if I remember correctly,” he said, turning back to Nezumi, who continued to stare at it, his grip tightening around Shion. He was like a child who was afraid of the monster in his closet.

He mumbled something inaudible under his breath.

“What was that?”

_“…I d-don’t like birds.”_

After knowing Nezumi for all this time, he had never known that he was afraid of birds. The cool, collected, mysterious vibe he’d always thought Nezumi had suddenly disappeared from his mind forever.

Shion tried not to giggle, he really did. But he just couldn’t help himself - Nezumi, a pretentious, rude drag queen, who beat people up and tried to seduce waitresses, was afraid of _birds_.

Shion’s shoulders shook violently as he held his free hand over his mouth. All of the teasing he’d put up with, and all he had had to do was mention birds.

“Shut up!” Nezumi whispered furiously under his breath, yanking on Shion’s arm. “It’s not funny!”

Shion reined in his giggled long enough enough to spit out, “Yes, it is!” before he fell victim to them again.

 _Of all things, birds!_ Shion just couldn’t believe it.

“Stop it! People are staring!” Nezumi muttered.

“They’re staring – haha – because you look like a koala hanging onto me like that.”

Nezumi relaxed his grip for a moment, then sharply tugged his arm and dragged him out of the exhibition hall.

“We’re done here.”

“But wait! I want to see the condors!” Shion said with a smirk. Nezumi looked back at him with disbelief.

“Yeah, I really wanted to see them! Let’s get a closer look, Nezumi, they’re so interesting! With their giant wings and big talons and sharp beaks – ”

Nezumi clapped his hand over Shion’s mouth. He looked as furious now as he had scared before.

But Shion just couldn’t be frightened. “Birds,” he whispered against Nezumi’s hand.

Nezumi bared his teeth and growled like one of the dire wolves on display and dragged him all the way outside to the Pleistocene Garden. Shion took a moment to let out the last of his giggles while Nezumi stood fuming beside him with his arms crossed.

Once he’d calmed himself down, he asked, “Why? What’s so terrifying about birds?”

Nezumi glared at him. “Did you ever see Hitchcock’s _The Birds_?”

Shion shook his head.

“Of course not. If you did, you would have known to be – to be _worried_.”

Shion laughed. “I don’t think ‘worried’ is that right word.”

“Shut up,” Nezumi punched Shion lightly on the arm. “Try watching that movie when you’re six years old and then come tell me birds aren’t terrifying. They travel in packs and they’re so unnatural looking wit their gross talons and beaks and they can fly above you so you never know when they’re going to attack – _stop giggling!”_

Shion couldn’t help but break into laughter again. “Birds – _haha_ – birds don’t attack _people_ , ‘Zumi!”

“That’s what you think.”

They spent a while after that walking around the garden. Shion was entranced. It was amazing to think that scientists had been able to recreate the botanical environment of tens of thousands of years ago.

Eventually they neared the end of the garden, and moved on to look at other pits, looping around the park until they reached Pit 91.

Pit 91. The name sounded familiar. It brought back memories of that field trip – he just couldn’t remember exactly why…

“It says that there have open excavations here from 9:30 to 5 or something like that,” said Nezumi, reading a sign near the entrance of Pit 91. “Shion?”

He’d just remembered why he remembered his pit. A grin broke out on his face and he took Nezumi’s hand and pulled him inside. “C’mon!”

It was familiar inside, but that wasn’t surprising. He was glad to see Nezumi looking around too, with eyes narrowed in concentration.

“Is this…”

“Yep,” Shion said, walking towards the pit in the center of the room. It stretched more than fifteen feet beneath the floor. The bottom was a pit of black tar, partially covered by thick wooden planks and people in bright orange shirts, sifting through the black substance.

“You saved me from falling in here four years ago.”

Nezumi nodded. They stood at the edge of the pit, looking in, but not really seeing it. Shion was remembering something else, and he was no doubt Nezumi was too.

“Try not to fall in this time, okay?” Nezumi teased.

“Says the guy who couldn’t hold his own against a bird skeleton.”

“Hey!”

Again, Shion thought about everything that had changed. Back then, Nezumi had been a complete stranger. Now, Shion considered him a cherished friend. He’d been a dark mystery then, but now, he was just a guy who was terrified of birds.

But four years ago, Shion had just been freed from the burden of No. 6. That was what kept eating him about these differences. Because No. 6 was the one thing that should have remained the same.

It was then that Shion realized they were still holding hands. Nezumi’s hand felt cold against his own, but somehow it made him feel warm. He wondered if Nezumi noticed. Shion didn’t think he did, or else he probably would have let go.

It was nice to hold hands with him. It was a form of intimacy Shion was unfamiliar with, but he decided then and there that he liked it. He ignored the nagging voice in his brain telling him that intimacy wasn’t what he wanted, it wasn’t smart under the circumstances; instead, he held Nezumi’s hand tighter. Neither of them let go while they watched the paleontologists recover age old bones in Pit 91.

They ended their day at the gift shop. Nezumi insisted it was for kids, but who could resist a gift shop? Certainly not Shion. “Besides,” he reminded Nezumi, “we’re boys, remember?”

The shop was filled with toys and science kits Shion knew he would have loved to have when he was in grade school. Now, instead of kits, he had a real lab to look forward to in college.

Eventually, they came to the wall of stuffed animals. Shion browsed the wide selection until he found what he was looking for.

“Hey Nezumi,” he said, holding a stuffed condor to Nezumi’s face. “This reminds me of you.”

Nezumi jumped back and frowned. “That’s not funny.”

He searched around while Shion laughed at his pouty face, and came back with [a wooden snake](http://i00.i.aliimg.com/img/pb/311/820/360/360820311_574.jpg) with a red pattern across its back. “Oh yeah? Well this reminds me of you.”

Shion’s laughs ceased immediately. He put the condor down and touched his hand to the scar on his face. The one that looked like a red snake.

Most days, he could forget about it. As long as he didn’t look in the mirror too long, it wasn’t hard. But it was a constant reminder of his darkest days, of his failures, and of No. 6. It was a mental and physical bind that had trapped him in his past, it still trapped him in his past, and it probably would always be a sensitive subject. Especially with the events looming in his future.

But if Nezumi could joke about it – if Shion could laugh along – that meant that something had changed. It meant that this scar didn’t have to be a prison, that he didn’t have to be a slave to the past. And even if he did have to face the past again, perhaps this time, he could be stronger. He could do it if the red snake was only a toy, not the imperfect defect on his skin. He could do it if he had Nezumi by his side, lending him strength and friendship.

“I went to far,” Nezumi said. He was no longer grinning, and looked almost guilty. It was the second expression Shion had seen on his face that day that he had never seen on Nezumi wear before. “That was…I shouldn’t have done that.”

Shion forced a smile onto his face and took the red snake from Nezumi’s hand. “It’s fine. I like it, actually.”

“You do?” Nezumi looked dubious.

Shion nodded. “In fact, I want it. Will you buy it for me?”

“No.”

Shion put on the saddest puppy face he could muster. “Pleeeease?” he pleaded, sticking his bottom lip out and taking Nezumi’s hand in his own.

Nezumi hesitated before saying. “F-fine. Just stop making that stupid face, it’s embarrassing.”

Shion grinned and squeezed Nezumi’s hand. “Thanks,” he said. He wasn’t sure if his vision was funny, or if Nezumi really had blushed. 

* * *

They sat next to each other again on the bus ride home. Before Nezumi could pull out his earphones, Shion said, “I had a fun time.”

Nezumi seemed distant, more so than any other time that day. He looked out of the window with a sad expression on his face.

Shion fingered the scarf around his neck. It had been hot in the summer sun with it on, but he was thankful for Nezumi for lending it to him. He almost didn’t want to give it back to Nezumi. He didn’t want this day to end.

Shion took a deep breath, gathering all his courage. He said quickly and quietly, “We should go out again. Together.”

Nezumi tensed up next to him. _Oh I shouldn’t have said that. That was stupid. He probably doesn’t want to hang out again, I mean I was teasing him the whole time –_

“We can go out together again once you start telling me the truth,” Nezumi said coldly. He still faced the window, refusing to look at Shion.

The sudden change in Nezumi’s attitude caused fear to shoot through Shion, laced with anticipation and anger. He gripped the edges of the seat tightly. He knew his perfect day was going to be ruined, and it was his fault, too. But he was irritated with this sudden change in Nezumi’s temperament.

“I know there’s something about yourself that you’re hiding. I don’t care about that. I care, but I respect your privacy.”

Shion looked guiltily at his feet. Was Nezumi referring to No. 6? Did he know anything about No. 6? Shion sincerely hoped not.

“You lied to me about the other night. You said you were heading out with Rikiga. He told me the truth. He took you to see me at work. He took you to see Eve perform.

Shion hadn’t even thought to talk with Rikiga about it. “Why didn’t you tell me you knew I was lying?”

“I wanted you to admit it. So that I would know I could trust you.”

Shion felt guilty down to his very core.

“Why did you do it?” Nezumi asked.

“I wanted to know more about you, but you weren’t letting me in. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to know that I’d gone behind your back, and…and that the reason I got hurt was because I went out to see you.”

Nezumi stared back out the window.

“I’m sorry,” Shion said.

Suddenly he felt mad at Nezumi. They’d had a near perfect day, and he was spoiling it with his somber mood. “Were you thinking about this the whole time? Why’d you bring it up? I thought – I thought you enjoyed yourself today.”

Nezumi grunted. “You said that we should go out again, together. I don’t want to do that if you’re going to continue to hide things. You say ‘together’, but I don’t want to get close to you if our ties of friendship are made of lies.”

Shion frowned. “Then you shouldn’t have come in the first place.”

The rest of the ride home was made in silence. Shion leaned his head against the seat, gripping the scarf tightly in his shaking fingers. Why did Nezumi have to be like that? Shion wasn’t the only one hiding things, anyway. Nezumi hadn’t told him about his job, nor would he talk about the scars on his back. Shion had thought that they were going to be better friends. After making soup together, and admitting they both remembered the bus ride, he thought they could have grown closer. And he thought today at the Tar Pits had solidified that closeness.

But obviously Nezumi didn’t want that closeness. He had been misleading Shion the whole day; then again, maybe Shion had been looking too far into it.

He supposed he had been misleading Nezumi too. He knew he couldn’t have anything more than friendship with Nezumi. At this point, it was pointless to pretend he didn’t want more. But he knew for Nezumi’s own sake that he shouldn’t get involved with him. In fact, it was rather a good thing that Nezumi had created this rift between them. It was safer for him that way.

Despite realizing this, Shion was upset that this day didn’t end with a cherry-on-top, like it should’ve. It ended with a sigh and a punch to the gut, and frankly, Shion was tired of getting beat up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much Gill_atinousmushfor the brilliant date ideas. Sorry for ending it way I did.
> 
> For the record: I visited the La Brea Tar Pits like seventy years ago, so I remember shit. (Which is unfortunate because I remember it was actually a pretty cool place). I looked on the website for reference, so hopefully it's not too inaccurate, but if you guys notice any inconsistencies, let me know! 
> 
> Also have to more snk babes because why the fuck not! I didn't really want to write the first few scenes but I felt like they needed to be included to end the whole douchebags-attacking-my-babies thing.
> 
> As always, comments and critiques/corrections are much appreciated!!! Thank you guys so much for your support!


	12. Nezumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Just a disclaimer...this story is almost over. I think there's only going to be, like, four more chapters at the most. (I think) I'm going on vacation soon and besides that, I have a very busy summer, so I don't know when I'll be able to update next. Be patient, my friends!
> 
> I made the playlist! It's on 8tracks and can be found [here](http://8tracks.com/satyrsyd/music-before-lovers)! Please enjoy if you would like, and if you guys have any more suggestions, let me know and I may add them on there!
> 
> Thank you again for all the amazing comments and love I get for this! Critiques are always appreciated as well! You guys are amazing!

Nezumi was almost mad at himself for being so upfront with Shion. Almost.

Confronting Shion about his lie had been on his mind for days now. He couldn’t ignore the fact that Shion had still smiled brightly at him or that his eyes had still glowed with that warm, comforting red. Their afternoon at the Tar Pits should have been the perfect opportunity to ask Shion about it, ask him to admit his lie (and any more truths he was hiding) but once he was back there, where he’d gone on his last middle school field trip, being dipped into a pool of memories, all thoughts of the last few weeks were washed from his mind. All he could think about was little Shion and middle school and birds and the man unabashedly holding his hand.

It was like being transported to another realm – transported, bizarrely, by public bus. So, once they boarded the bus for the ride home, Nezumi felt reality come crashing down on his shoulders once again.

That’s why he didn’t regret it. Shion had to be told at some point. If anything, he regretted that he had to tell Shion in the first place. One part of him felt that it was nice to loose himself for a few hours, though the other part felt anxious about dropping his guard. Nezumi wasn’t one to easily give in to leisure activities purely for the sake of enjoyment. But with Shion, Nezumi’s self control always slipped.

If Nezumi had to sum up the last few days in a word, it would be _awkward_. They greeted each other in the mornings and said good night in the evenings, but eye contact was scarce and tensions were heightened. Perhaps this wouldn’t have bothered Nezumi if he hadn’t grown so used to Shion’s cheerful chatter and big grins and bright, hopeful eyes that bored into his own.

As it was, it _did_ bother him. He thought about going and talking to Shion, to mend whatever rift had ruptured between them, but couldn’t bring himself to act on that thought.

_It’s Shion’s job to talk to me. This mess is his fault, and if he wants to fix it, let him come to me._

He was getting ready to leave for work, stuffing his makeup into his bag, when Shion’s voice carried in from the living room.

“…ourth? That soon?” His voice was faint and weak. Nezumi paused.

“…yeah, yeah I – wait, no, _no_. I’m not going to tell him…” Nezumi dropped his bag and listened at the door.

“Why not? It’s _n-number six_! Mom, I can’t, I just…that’s not it, I just don’t want him to have to bear another burden…That’s exactly what I was thinking. That’s why I didn’t tell Safu this time…Fine, you tell her! I’m not doing it. She’s busy with her internship at that theatre and I don’t want to make her worry. Sometimes, she’s worse than you…”

 _So he’s hiding something else again,_ Nezumi thought. He had no doubts that the ‘him’ Shion had referred to was himself. The ‘him’ Shion wasn’t going to tell. He was going to try and hide something else from Nezumi, after that whole speech about Shion _not_ hiding things!

“…I’ll be fine. Just f-fine,” Shion stuttered. Nezumi could hear the lie in his voice. “…I’ve dealt with n-number six before, right? I-I-I’m stronger now than then.”

Nezumi rolled his eyes at Shion’s lame attempt at courage.

But that didn’t change the ache in his gut. Something was wrong – Shion wasn’t hiding just anything. He thought, maybe, that this ‘number six’ thing had something to do with what had happened to Shion four years ago.

“…Don’t worry. I’ll stay safe… Bye. Love you.”

Nezumi walked back to his closet and continued packing his bag. Before he left, though, his phone buzzed.

 **From Agent:**   _dont 4get bout ur audition. i trust u've been preparing?_

 **From Agent:**  a _ugust 24. don’t 4get._

“Dammit,” Nezumi cursed under his breath. With everything that was going on, he’d completely forgot about his audition for the part of Viola. He didn’t want to get back into the business of acting, but the part of Viola called to him like angels singing from up upon high, and Nezumi was determined to get the part.

Running through lines he could remember from _Twelfth Night_ , he left the apartment without giving Shion a glance.

* * *

Thoughts of the audition were quickly replaced with thoughts about ‘number six’. They had been festering in his mind all last night and all morning. What was it? An event? A place? A person? A disease? Nezumi had numerous ideas, but none seemed to fit.

After a morning of picking at dry toast, unable to pull himself out of angry thoughts and flimsy theories, Nezumi jumped up and jogged downstairs to Inukashi’s shelter.

He was tired of waiting for Shion to make a move. He was going to pull the truth out of him instead.

Nezumi stomped into the shelter and started towards the back, where he knew Shion would be washing dogs.

“Oi! What the hell are you going?” Inukashi jumped out from nowhere and yanked his arm back.

Nezumi shot them a glare. “Are you stupid as well as ugly?”

Immediately they loosened their grip and grinned mischievously. “Ah, you’re here for Shion!”

“Would you rather I be here for you?” Nezumi smiled seductively and reached for Inukashi.

Inukashi let go of him with disgust.

“You’re a repulsive pervert, Nezumi!” they called as Nezumi strut outside.

Shion was there, washing a sleek black hound coated in suds. His gaze flickered up for a moment, but his eyes were cold and his mouth was set in a straight line.

“Yes?” he asked, turning back to the dog.

Nezumi watched him as rinsed the dog off, sliding the sponge along it’s shiny coat. Now that he was here, he didn’t know how to start.

“Hey, ‘Zumi,” Shion asked suddenly. “How’d you get the scars on your back?”

Nezumi was surprised he’d ask a question like that now, of all times. He knew that Shion must’ve seen them – he hadn’t tried very hard to hide them – but now? It really pissed Nezumi off.

“I’ll answer your question if you answer mine. What’s number six?” he asked.

Shion dropped his sponge. His face turned pale and Nezumi regretted starting so abruptly. “That’s n-none of your business,” he said softly.

“Just like your little escapade with Rikiga was none of my business?” Nezumi retorted.

Shion still didn’t look up, but Nezumi could hear the guilt in his voice. “I just wanted to know – ”

“And I just want to know about this!” Nezumi interrupted.

Shion rinsed his sudsy hands in a bucket of water, and stood up on shaking legs. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to start with the topic of No. 6. “This is different,” Shion mumbled.

“No it’s not – “

“ _This is different_.”

Before Nezumi could blink Shion had his finger on his throat. He was pointing his finger right at Nezumi, staring at him with an intensity Nezumi had never before seen from the white-haired boy. His eyes burned that red color again, only this time, they glowed with malice…no, it wasn’t malice, it was fear. He looked like a hunted animal desperate to outrun its predator.

His sudden movement had caught Nezumi off guard – that never happened. And worse, he couldn’t bring himself to move.

“This. Is. Different.” He poked Nezumi with each word.

Shion went on. His voice was harsh and cold and low, almost sending shivers down Nezumi’s spine. “I’m not going to tell you because I don’t want you to be involved. I don’t want to force my problems on you.”

Nezumi tried to regain his composure. Don’t let this little boy intimidate you. That’s ridiculous. “That should be my choice, not yours,” he said, matching the coldness in Shion’s voice. Shion stepped away from him, and Nezumi allowed himself to breath again. “You’re not even facing your problems! You’re setting them aside, behind the red curtain and pretending they don’t exist!”

A twisted smile came across Shion’s face. “My problems couldn’t hide behind the red curtain on the biggest stage in the world! Ha – it’d be a goddamn gift if I could ignore my problems!”

Nezumi crossed his arms. “I’d know that if you didn’t keep me in the dark.”

“Sorry the red curtain’s still closed on you.”

“Fucking hell Shion, I want to help you!” Nezumi burst. God, this kid was so stubborn and frustrating! What happened to his soft heart and polite smile.

Shion turned his back to Nezumi. He said with a waver in his voice. “I don’t need your help.”

“That’s not what I’m asking – ”

“Are you listening?” Shion interrupted. “ _I don’t need your help_. I can’t drag you into this – ”

“You already did!” Nezumi shouted. His voice echoed down the alleyway, and he heard the dog whimper. Suddenly, Nezumi couldn’t hold back anymore. “You don’t get it, do you? You already did, because I don’t know how, but you got into my head with your niceties and politeness and – and your _ignorance_ and I _hate_ you for that, because you’re not the perfect person, the innocent angel that you pretend to be. You preach all these morals but you’re as corrupt as the rest of us!” Shion’s shoulders tensed. “Maybe even more so because you don’t even see your flaws! Going behind my back and wanting to hurt those douches – Shion, that night that I fought them the first time, you looked like you wanted to kill them – how can you keep a straight face after that?”

The moment Nezumi stopped talking, silence as sharp as a knife manifested between them. Nezumi felt empty, as though he spilt everything out. His mouth was dry and his lips stuck together; he didn’t feel like he could say anymore.

Shion took a while to reply. “You’re right,” he said softly, his back remaining to Nezumi. “I’m no moral prince. But I didn’t give myself that title, ever. I never said I was like that.”

Nezumi walked around and stood in front of Shion. He yelled to his face, “But you believe it, don’t you? That’s why you can still hold your head so high. But you’re a fucking hypocrite.” He spat the word hypocrite as if it was a cuss word itself.

Shion looked up. “Hey – ”

“You’re prying into my business because you want to know everything about me! The job, the scars, even when I judged it was better for you not to know, but you didn’t trust me. Now the roles are reversed – you say you aren’t telling me to protect me, so do you expect me to go behind your back now? Is that the method I’m suppose to resort to? Should I follow in the steps of the moral prince?”

A look of horror came over Shion’s face. He stepped back on quivering legs and held his hands to his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “Shut up! Shut up shut up! I was wrong – okay? I was wrong. I should have trusted you. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back.”

“So you regret it?”

Another moment of silence while Shion calmed down. His legs stopped shaking, and Nezumi heard him take several deep breaths before saying, “No.”

“What – ”

Shion spun around and shouted with ferocity, “I don’t regret it! Because…I wanted to know. I needed to. I care about you, Nezumi, I really do – could you really expect me to wait peacefully in the dark when you came back in the middle of the night covered in blood and bruises?! I needed to figure out how to protect you – ”

“But you couldn’t, could you?! You couldn’t protect me because you’re weak and ignorant and self-righteous. What the hell did you think you could do to protect me?!”

The black dog between them whimpered louder.

“Maybe the truth was more important to me than my own wellbeing!”

The argument was lame and flimsy but Nezumi threw it right back at him. “Then why can’t I do the same?! Why can’t I put my wellbeing at risk for you?”

A flash of confusion passed through Shion’s eyes before he shouted back, “Because I couldn’t stand it if you got hurt because of me – ”

“Maybe I couldn’t stand if you got hurt because of your reluctance to let me help.” Was he really saying this? Did he really want to help? It went against his nature, but he felt his words rang true. “God, Shion, we’re on our own to survive, but if you’re lucky enough that someone stronger than you offers their help, fucking take it! Stop trying to handle this burden by yourself. It’s going to crush you inside and out.”

Shion’s gaze was hard as steel. “I can handle that.”

Nezumi walked up to Shion and put his hand on his shoulder. “But you don’t need to. Tell me.”

Shion pulled away from him. “I can’t.”

Nezumi’s frustration was growing. “Why can’t you tell me?!”

“I don’t want you hurt!”

“Goddammit Shion, you’re the one who’s getting hurt here! You just expect me to stand by and wait around for you to get hurt again?!”

“Yes.” Shion’s answer shocked him. What kind of person purposely let themself get hurt? “You’re right, Nezumi, I’m not strong. I couldn’t protect you from those guys, or even avenge you. But this is how I’m protecting you – by not getting you involved.”

Nezumi forced his voice not to waiver as he said, “Maybe I _want_ to be involved!”

“ _I_ don’t want you involved!” Shion countered.

They both breathed heavy, glaring at each other in the middle of the alleyway. The black dog sat close to the door with its head in between its paws. The hot afternoon sun blazed in the sky, but the cool shadows of the alley prevented its warmth from reaching either of them.

Nezumi needed to know what was wrong. He _needed_ to. He didn’t know when want had turned to need, or how it had happened – maybe it was Shion’s reluctance to tell him, or maybe it was the pain Nezumi heard in his voice as he defied Nezumi’s statements.

 _We should go out again. Together._ Shion’s words from the other day rang dully in his ears. He knew what they meant. He just hadn’t wanted to face it.

“You said you wanted to go out again, together.” The bright, furious gleam faded from Shion’s eyes. “I know what you want. Do you really want to build that kind of relationship on this foundation? You’re not allowing me to care.”

“I can’t allow you to care.” Shion sounded… _sad_ as he spoke.

“Then we can’t have that kind of relationship!” Nezumi shouted.

Shion’s eyebrows drew together in concern. He broke his glare at Nezumi. “I d-don’t want it.”

“You…” He had seemed so obvious, so adamant about wanting something more. Had Nezumi read too much into it? Or was Shion lying to him now?

“I d-d-don’t want that kind of r-relationship,” Shion sniffed.

“Fine. You don’t want it. Of course you don’t. Was I misinterpreting your intentions the other day? Or were you lying?”

Shion didn’t answer. Nezumi hadn’t expected him to. “Well, if you can’t give me that, then give me the truth. What is number six?”

Shion sighed shakily. He gulped, and muttered. “That’s the one thing I can’t tell you. Not right now. You don’t understand – ”

“No! I don’t! Not of you won’t tell me!” Nezumi yelled.

Shion whipped around and yelled inches from Nezumi’s face. “I. CAN’T. TELL. YOU!” Shion’s eyes were wide and red and his cheeks were wet – he’d been crying. He still was crying. “I w-want to. I really, really do. But I can’t.”

Nezumi felt a mix of anger and pity for the crying boy. Obviously this was something that was hurting him. That’s why he had to know. “Shion, I can’t care for you unless you tell me!”

“Then I guess you’ll have to stop caring!”

The words rung in the air, echoing down the alley. _Stop caring._

When did he ever care? He knew it was dangerous to care about others. Look where it led. Shion was right. He’d be better off without Shion’s stupid problems.

“Fine!” Nezumi hissed. “I guess I will. I’ll just stop caring.”

“F-fine…” Shion whispered. Angry and confused with hot tears of his own forming in his eyes (Why? I haven’t cried in years, why now?), Nezumi stormed past Shion and threw open the door to their building.

He stopped just before walking inside. “You know, you can’t go on like this!” he warned.

Shion took a moment to reply. “…just watch me! I don’t need your help!”

A flare of remorse burned through him, but Nezumi pushed the feeling aside. “Good, because you aren’t getting any!”

* * *

It had been a week. A week that had felt like a year.

They hadn’t spoken since their fight in the alleyway. They hadn’t even looked at each other. Nezumi didn’t know how they managed it, but they did. More times than not, they weren’t even in the same room, and in those brief moments when they were, tension stilled the air and left a sour taste in Nezumi’s mouth.

He was torn between feeling angry at Shion and feeling guilty at himself. Angry that Shion still refused to talk about his burdens. Nezumi had offered to share a part of Shion’s burden – that had never happened before. Shion had broken his golden rule of ‘everyone fends for themselves’ and Shion didn’t even know it. He didn’t know how badly he affected Nezumi. He was so stubborn and ignorant and stupid and Nezumi just wanted to whack him over the head, but at the same time he wondered if he’d pushed Shion too far. He hated when people pushed and prodded him for stories about the scars on his back. He was surprised Shion had held his tongue until now. Maybe Shion was right, maybe he was better off not knowing, but he wanted to know, because the thing he was the most angry about was Shion’s hypocrisy – knowing Nezumi’s secrets while jeopardizing his own wellbeing, but not allowing Nezumi to do the same for him. There were few things he hated more than a hypocrite.

Nezumi needed a drink.

He wasn’t a big drinker. He hated how it hindered his senses, among other things. He had determined from an early age that drinking could cause severe damage.

But tonight was different. Not being able to talk to Shion was getting to him. The guilt and the anger and the confusion festered like a tumor in his conscious. So he concluded, in the spur of the moment decision, he needed a drink.

“Well well, if it isn’t Eve, the Sober Princess!” Hanji called out when Nezumi entered Elyurias. “Hey wait, you look like a boy!”

“And you look like a girl.”

“And Jean looks like a horse. Looks can be misleading, eh?” Hanji leaned forward across the counter and flicked Nezumi in the forehead. “You deserved that.”

Nezumi sat down and Hanji asked in a lighter tone, “What’re you doing here at eleven in the morning?”

“Get me the strongest whiskey you have.”

“Whoa, is the sober princess breaking his vows?”

“Hanji.”

“Alright, alright, calm down, I’ll get it for you.”

Nezumi never came to Elyurias when he wasn’t performing, except on very rare occasions. It was strange to see the place devoid of the liveliness it possessed in the evening. It looked dead, even with its few customers mulling around, enjoying a late breakfast.

“Oi, is that you, Eve?” Nezumi looked up to see Levi walking out from the back room. “What the fuck are you doing here? Did you lose your watch or something? You aren’t performing for nine more hours.”

“Aha! Here it is!” Hanji appeared with a small glass in their hand and set it triumphantly in front of Nezumi. “The Colossal Titan. My own personal mix.”

“Are you here to drink?” Levi asked apprehensively.

Nezumi ignored him and asked Hanji, “What shit did you put in here?”

“That is the chef’s secret,” they said. Normally he wouldn’t accept a drink with unknown ingredients from anyone, but he knew Erwin would flip out if Hanji put anything weird in his favorite performer’s drink. So he threw back the shot in gulped it down. The sour taste burned his throat. “Gimme another.”

“You sure, princess?” Hanji asked warily.

Nezumi glared at them. Evidently they got the message and started to make another drink.

“Hey,” Levi demanded, snapping his fingers in Nezumi’s face. “Why are you drinking? You don’t drink.”

Nezumi was already starting to feel a numbing sensation. He shrugged, and said, “I do right now.”

“Stop avoiding the question, brat.” Levi yanked on Nezumi’s hair. “Tell me why.”

Nezumi sighed, ignoring Levi’s pestering. “Why do you care?”

“If you’re drinking, something must be wrong in the world, and I want to avoid it.”

Hanji returned with another Colossal Titan. “Is it Shion?”

Nezumi froze, and looked up at them. “How do you know – ”

“He came in here a while ago. A week ago? Two? He was the sweetest person, the total opposite of you – ”

“Why was he here?!” Shion came back here? Why had Shion been back here? Nezumi _told_ him to avoid this place -

“He told us that you lied about getting mugged,” Hanji said, staring pointedly at him. “And he showed us a video of some guys beating him up, and you beating them up.”

“…video…?”

“He wanted to help you, you know. He showed us the video so we wouldn’t let those guys in again. You know, you could have told us in the first place. We would’ve tried to help.”

Nezumi couldn’t believe it. Although he couldn’t be sure where Shion got the video (a certain pimp came to mind), Shion really had tried to protect him, in his own way.

“We haven’t seen those guys again, but our bouncers have been notified. You know Reiner and Annie. They’ll have their way with them if they show up.”

“What happened with him?” Levi asked. Despite his monotone voice, Levi sounded almost concerned.

Nezumi took the second shot. Forcing himself to swallow, he said, “We had an argument.”

“Why?”

“He’s hiding something from me. He won’t tell me what, but I know it’s hurting him, whatever it is.”

Levi and Hanji waited for him to continue. “B-but I don’t care anymore! He won’t let me care, so I won’t. Let him hurt himself. It’s not my problem.”

Hanji sighed. “Eve, you need to make up with him.”

“What?”

“You heard them,” Levi said. “Make up with him.”

Nezumi scoffed. “Why should I?”

“You really like him, don’t you?” Hanji asked softly. A pang of emotion – Nezumi didn’t know what – hit his heart. “That’s why you need to make up with him.”

“If you really care for him, then go back to him, even if he won’t tell you what’s hurting him,” Levi added. “If he’s hurting, he needs you.”

“He had other friends. Let them help him,” Nezumi spat enviously.

Hanji looked at him sympathetically. “No, I think he needs you. You should have seen him when he came in here – he was so concerned for you; we could all see it. He was very obvious about it. The way he talked about you…it’s you he needs right now.”

“ _Tch._ He already knows that,” Levi said. He wasn’t wrong. “He just needs to get off his ass and do something about it. Salvage this relationship, since I doubt you’ll find another person that’ll put up with your shitty personality.”

“Levi!” Hanji scolded. “He’s right, though. You need to make up with him. Personally, I suggest dressing up as Eve and seducing him with money and food. I think that’d work on most people.”

The mere thought of that situation almost caused Nezumi to burst out laughing. Only the thought of making up with Shion weighed even heavier on his mind.

“And don’t worry about finding other people that like you. All of us here put up with Levi’s shitty personality, after all.”

“Shut up, four eyes.”

Nezumi rose unsteadily from his seat. “I just wanted a drink, not a counseling session.”

“Lucky you, you get it free of charge!” Hanji exclaimed.

Nezumi rolled his eyes in a rather exaggerated fashion and walked out of Elyurias, Levi and Hanji’s words slipping in and out of his mind.

_Should I apologize? Is that what they said? Wait, who’m I saying sorry to? Oh! Shion, right, Shion. I need to say sorry. Er…why do I need to say sorry? Um…oh right, because – because – because he needs me. He needs me…I hope he’s not there when I get home. I wanna sleep. Maybe he’s asleep too, and we can sleep together. Wait – would that be weird? That’d probably be weird._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Wow, did I say August 14? No I didn't. You're imagining things. It was always August 24th, duh.
> 
> Arguments are really hard to write. Who knew. Hopefully I did okay.
> 
> Also, just...it's going to get weird soonish. Just a warning.


	13. Shion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH LOOK I UPDATED EARLY you lucky ducks. I accidentally started writing the other night because I had some ideas for this chapter and it turned into a two and a half hour writing session that kept me up until 1:30...that's super late for me considering I had to get up at 5:50 D: And it's finals week too but haha fuck finals, amirite?
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING for fire, I guess? I'm not really sure how to say this but, you know, just in case...more tw's to come...

It had been a week. A week that passed by in a flash.

It should have passed slowly, considering how a lack of communication usually made the clock slow. Shion _wished_ it had gone slowly. But another, more disturbing situation weighed on his mind.

Last week his mother had called about No. 6.

 

_“It’s…earlier than we thought,” his mother says in a hushed voice, crackled with static._

_Shion gulps, but it feels like he’s swallowing a rock. “…when?”_

_“August twenty fourth,” she says._

_Shion’s legs grow weak and he sits with a sudden thud onto the couch. That was less than two weeks away. He’d thought he had more time – he_ needs _more time. “August twenty fourth?” His voice waivers as he speaks. “That soon?”_

 

He’d been counting down the days since then. It was the 23nd. Tomorrow. He had one more day before…

Frankly, Shion didn’t know for certain. His mother tried to convince him that it wouldn’t happen, but Shion knew better. She hadn’t experienced what Shion himself had, so he didn’t blame her for doubting him. It wasn’t his words she doubted, after all – it was what those words meant for him, and for No. 6.

But in his gut Shion knew what was coming. He had ever since that day. He wanted to believe that the days of No. 6 were behind him, and sometimes, he could shrug off the memories and forget. Like when he was with Nezumi.

_But he can’t be with you right now. He said he’d leave you alone, and that’s how it should be._

The argument had taken its toll on Shion. That morning, when he had received the portentous message of ‘August 24th’, he’d already been at a low point. After Nezumi left, he’d thrown up in the toilet twice before distracting himself by washing Inukashi’s dogs and playing with his mice. He hoped the smell of vomit hadn’t lingered in the bathroom, but Nezumi never mentioned it, so Shion supposed it had dissipated right along with his confident resolve.

And after the argument…Shion wasn’t sure how he’d pull through this time. It was a reminder that he was truly alone in this situation. He couldn’t bring himself to ask for help and pull his friends down the rabbit hole. This wasn’t their problem: it was his. So Shion had to deal with it on his own.

 _“I don’t need your help!”_ he’d told Nezumi. He suspected they both knew it was a lie.

The red snake Nezumi bought him sat on his dresser. He remembered thinking of how he’d be strong in the upcoming days, how his past didn’t have to bind him down. He thought that he could do it with Nezumi by his side.

But reality had slapped him in the face. He couldn’t get Nezumi involved – he didn’t want him hurt. He couldn’t bear to put Nezumi in danger’s way, not after all Nezumi had done to protect him.

So instead of remaining a toy, the red snake became a demon haunting him incessantly through the week, a constant reminder of _soon soon soon_. He could almost feel the red scar constrict tighter around his skin.

“You okay out there, Shion?” Inukashi’s voice called Shion out of his thoughts.

Snapping back into reality, Shion adjusted his vision to his surroundings. The fluffy wet terrier staring at him, waiting to be dried off. The cool shadows of the alleyway in the early morning. Inukashi leaning in the doorway, their dark hair falling into their face, looking at him with concern in their eyes.

“I’m…I’m fine.” Shion grabbed a worn out towel and wrapped it around the shivering pup. “Hey…I’ve been meaning to tell you – I’m going back to school in a week.”

Shion sensed a change in Inukashi's demeanor. Their shoulders dropped and they looked blankly at the ground. Even if they were a little, well, blunt, Shion had really liked working with Inukashi. He expected they felt the same by now. “So that’s when you’re going to stop, right?” Inukashi asked.

Shion nodded.

“So I take it you want your paycheck?” they said hesitantly.

“Er, not really,” Shion said. “Consider this charity work.”

Inukashi looked at him suspiciously. “Charity work? You mean you don’t want to be paid? Are you nuts?”

Shion laughed half-heartedly. “You need the money more than I do.”

Inukashi looked stunned. “I – how can I be sure you aren’t after something else? I’m not going to believe that you’d just do work for me for nothing in return.”

“I’m glad to help you, you know,” Shion said. “But if you really want to pay me back, consider the mice you gave me as payment.”

Inukashi thought about this, and eventually nodded. “Fine. I don’t think that’s a fair trade but I’m not going to press you.”

Shion forced a smile. “Good.”

Shion turned his attention to the wet dog in front of him. It had started shivering.

“Are you really fine, Shion?” Inukashi asked again.

He forced his smile again. “I’m alright.”

“No, no you’re not,” Inukashi said. They sighed a dramatic, heavy sigh, and sat down in the doorway to the alleyway. A big golden retriever walked outside and set its head in Inukashi’s lap. While Inukashi spoke, he mindlessly scratched its head.

“I know about your little argument with Nezumi. You think I’m deaf? You guys were screaming at each other, it was hard to ignore.”

Shion looked down and blushed.

“I would’ve been able to tell anyway, of course. You look like one of the abandoned puppies than turns up on my doorstep every once in a while. C’mon, tell me what’s wrong. Or at least tell me what you and Nezumi were arguing about. You guys were loud, but all you weren’t very…coherent.”

Wrapping the towel tightly around the terrier, Shion sighed. He didn’t know where to start…he didn’t want say anything at all, but he felt like he needed to tell Inukashi _something_. He didn’t know why - if he was looking for advice or comfort - but something about Inukashi’s manner reminded him of a dog mother looking after her puppy. It made him feel obligated to explain. “…something bad is going to happen. It’s going to happen really soon. Nezumi knows that something is happening, but he doesn’t know what…but if he finds out, he’s going to get hurt. I’m sure of it.”

Inukashi listened silently. There wasn’t a sound in the alley as Shion spoke.

“We…we had an argument about it. That’s what you heard – he wanted me to tell him but I couldn’t, I can’t endanger him after all he’s done for me! I know what’ll happen if he finds out so I can’t t-tell him b-b-but I really want to b-because – because I d-don’t think I’m s-s-strong enough to – to face this on m-my own…” Tears began dribbling down Shion’s cheeks as his voice started to shake. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and steady his quivering hands, and said, “I’m s-sorry, you don’t need to hear this. Just…just f-forget it.”

Inukashi looked a little confused. Shion didn’t imagine they had many experiences with emotional people, let alone many experiences with people at all. They sat awkwardly, watching the golden retriever lick their hand. Once Shion finished his cry, they said in a serious tone, “You need to make up with Nezumi.”

“…huh?”

“Trust me, it pains me to say it – " Inukashi huffed, “ – but it seems like you need some support right now. Nezumi wants to give you support. I can’t believe it, but he does. Shion, don’t face this on your own. I’ve tried to face things on my own, too…” They looked wistfully down the alleyway, their eyes glazing over. “And it was hard. _Too_ hard. But I found my dogs, and they supported me. They still support me. If they hadn’t…I don’t know where I’d be now.”

Shion wiped his nose. “B-but – ”

“Don’t worry about him getting hurt,” Inukashi assured. “He’s strong, even I’ll admit that. And he’s wicked with a knife. He’s pretty strong mentally, too. He _wants_ to help you, he’s willing to put himself at risk for you. I think you should let him.”

Doubts flashed through Shion’s mind. _Could I tell Nezumi? Should I? It’s true he’s strong...but to deliberately put him in harm’s way, when it can be prevented…_

“Shion, remember how you said you’d rather you get hurt than him?” Inukashi continued. “I think – no, I _know_ – he feels the same way about you. He wants to protect you just as much as you want to protect him. Don’t deny him that.”

Shion thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. Inukashi’s words rang true. Maybe that’s what Nezumi had been trying to tell him – Shion had probably been too emotionally unstable at the time to understand what he was saying.

“Good. I’m glad we had that talk.” Inukashi stood up, the golden retriever with him. “Just one more question.”

“Yes?”

“What is the ‘something bad’ that’s going to happen?”

Shion would tell Nezumi about No. 6, but he would be the only one. “Sorry, I can’t tell you. But don’t worry – it shouldn’t affect you. Probably.

Inukashi’s eyes widened, but Shion stood firm on his decision to keep No. 6 a secret from them.

After a while, they said, “Fine.” Inukashi seemed angry about it, but they didn’t press the issue further.

Shion appreciated Inukashi’s words. He was both impressed that Inukashi could offer him such advice and grateful they had bestowed those words on him. If, on the off chance, everything worked out in the end, Shion would be sure to thank them.

He spent the rest of the day washing dogs, trying to become absorbed in his textbooks (after all, he did start college in a week) and figuring out of to explain to Nezumi the complicated affair that was No. 6.

* * *

 It was 3 a.m. and it was raining. Not very hard - just barely more than a sprinkle. The light splatter had woken him from his fitful sleep not two hours before. Rain was practically unheard of in Southern California, let alone L.A. in the middle of August. Maybe that’s why Shion went onto the roof. He wanted to feel the cold wind bite into his clothes and whip his hair against his face, he wanted to feel the tiny droplets prick against his skin and he wanted to hear the sky howl to the city.

_Tomorrow – no, today. Happy August 24 th, Shion. Best of luck to me from here on out._

Shion shivered in the shower of sprinkles. Emotions built up inside him, threatening to burst – anger and hate and apprehension and anxiety and _fear._  More than anything else he was scared. It was fear that rattled his bones and caused his hands to shake, the kind of fear that intruded on every waking thought and left him perpetually holding his breath. Admittedly, he couldn’t predict what was to come – but he _knew_ what would happen, it was as clear to him as the memory that led to him knowing –

 

_A smile, twisted and wrong, sneers at him with more contempt than the deepest scowl. The hairs on Shion’s arm stand up in when the deep, aggressive male voice says clearly, inches from his face: “It’s your fault.”_

_“Your fault. It’s your fault…” the voice echoes endlessly in his mind for days, cluttering his ear drums and causing him to shake. The guilt eats at him relentlessly, but it’s not as bad as the fear comes when the echoes cease and the voice, colder and sharper than a shard of ice, whispers breathily into his ear._

_“I’ll never be able to forgive you.”_

 

\- a memory he has had nightmares about almost as often as he had about the time he got his scars.

“Medals of honor” Nezumi had called them. That had to have been almost two months ago, maybe more. Shion aloud laughed at the thought _– The red snake wrapped around my body is no medal, Nezumi. It’s a reminder of my shortcomings and a time I want to desperately forget. It singles me out not for my victory of survival but for my failure to save myself._

His hysteria quickly turned to apprehension. Shion’s breaths became heavy and his hands started to shake and tears bloomed in his eyes. They blurred his view of the rain drops, blending into the array of water droplets peppering his face.

He walked to the edge of the building and stood with his feet firm in the ground. Gripping the railing surrounding the edge of the roof, he let everything out –

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

He let the scream rip through his throat and listened to the sound be swallowed up by the wind. The clouds answered back in a dull roll of thunder, as if they were crying along with him.

Shion screamed again, louder than before, opening his mouth wide, letting the sprinkles tickle his throat. All of his feelings surged out of him in a high pitched screech, emptying his mind slowly, as smooth and steady as water flowing down the drain. To anyone passing by, he’d look like a madman, yelling in the rain in the middle of the night without so much as a jacket to shield him from the weather.

Shion didn’t care. He basked in the release of his emotions, closing his eyes and letting the rain wash away his grief. He breathed in the fresh, brisk air that blew away the anxiety he had built inside and let the wind wrap him in a cold blanket of comfort.

_I can’t do anything about it. What will be, will be, right? I can only more forward._

When he opened his eyes, there was figure on his right. Deep, grey eyes stared at the matching stormy grey clouds.

It was one of the rare occasions when his hair is loose, free to whip around his pale face in the wild summer wind. His lips were set in a straight, tight line, and his eyes were sharper than Shion had ever seen then before. They stared so intently at the dull sky that Shion almost believed Nezumi saw something in the sea of clouds.

“AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Nezumi let a scream twice as loud as Shion’s. His voice rippled through the wind but the sound was swallowed up just as fast as Shion’s was.

Shion’s eyes widen. He hadn’t talked to Nezumi in an entire week – now here he stood beside him, on the roof of their building, in the rain in the early morning, without a jacket to share between them, screaming with him into the endless sky.

Nezumi turned to him, a brightness dancing in his eyes. “I came home from work and I thought I heard a yell. Then I saw you, hang off the side of the building screaming your lungs out. I thought I’d join you.”

Shion felt his cheeks turn hot against the cold sprinkles dotting his face. “…I had some stuff to work out.”

Nezumi nodded. “I had some stuff to work out too.”

Nezumi gripped the edges of the rail and folded his arms on top of it, leaning his head on them. Shion ignored his shivers from the cold, leaning his arms against the railing as well.

“Do you really want to know how I got the scars on my back?” Nezumi asked.

It was not the question Shion was expecting – he didn’t even know how to answer. But Nezumi took his silence as a ‘yes’ and began his story.

“I used to live in north L.A. with my parents. I don’t remember them much, but I think they were good people. Anyways, our house was at the edge of the suburbs, and there were a lot of plants: trees and flowers and grass. Most of the year it was green – but you know how California summers get. The grass dries up, and there are wildfires.

“I think I was six when it happened. A wildfire broke out near out house while we were sleeping. I’m a light sleeper so I smelled smoke and I woke up and the air was clouded with black smoke and I could hear a roaring sound like giant waves and I could see flashes of bright orange and yellow outside my window. I called for my parents but they didn’t hear me and I…I didn’t have the guts to find them. I was a coward. I couldn’t even save my own parents. I didn’t even warn them.

Nezumi’s eyebrows cinched and his face formed the saddest and angriest expression Shion had seen him wear. “I escaped out my window. The fire had already burned down half the house as I looked back. That’s a sight I can never forget. My eyes stung from the smoke but I could clearly see the roaring flame consume my home – along with my parents – in its fiery grip.

“I couldn’t run away, though.” Nezumi’s hands gripped tighter around the railing until his knuckles stood out white against the dark backdrop. “I stared at the fire and didn’t even notice that the fire was surrounding me. My eyes were still glued on my burning house when I felt the flames lick my back. I remember being snapped out of my daze in pain, and taking off running while the flames burned me. Have you ever been burned, Shion?”

Shion shook his head.

“Count yourself lucky. I’ve been kicked and punched and cut and I’ve struggled though painful illnesses – but nothing compared to that burning sensation. It felt like a hundred suns pissing on my skin and I could _feel_ my blood boil.

“My lungs felt like they were on fire as I left the house, running farther and faster until the flames attacking my back had died out, and my house shone like a star in the distance.”

Nezumi paused, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

“That was when I learned that I needed to keep to myself, that I shouldn’t love anyone. Because I could loose them so easily.

“That wasn’t very hard to do in foster care. I was moved to West Block, after all. None of my foster parents gave a shit about me or the other kids – I learned to fend for myself, and I learned that I could only depend on myself for my survival, and that people were inherently bad. Everyone was out for themselves, so I should be too.”

Nezumi looked over at Shion. “You changed that. When I met you on the bus, and you willingly made conversation with me, and thanked me for saving you, and I – you gave me hope. It was the first time since the fire anyone had been that kind to me…and you read me like a book, too.”

Shion blushed. He remembered how angry Nezumi had gotten when Shion commented on his ‘mysterious aura’.

“I hate you for that. At least, I _want_ to hate you for that."

Nezumi's cheeks turned light pink, and Shion didn't think it was from the biting cold.

“You made me break my other rule once you moved here, too. I had promised, after I lost my parents, that I would never love anyone again.”

A wave of emotion – surprise, relief, anxiety and happiness – hit him like a truck.

_Is he implying he’s in love with me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I didn't have that last scene planned originally but I really like it? Tell me what you guys think!!
> 
> Also I'm on a vacation so I _might_ not be able to get to your comments for awhile...or write the next scene...but who knows what will happen? maybe I'll have an extra two hours sometime...


	14. Nezumi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it - THE CHAPTER YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. (In more ways than one, I think?) And yes, there should only be two more chapters after this...it's been so great, honestly I never would have believed I would get this far! So thank you all so so much for all your kudos and comments because it means so much and it drives me to write!!!  
> (spoilers in the TW...sorta)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR: child/domestic abuse, homophobia, violence...I think that's it.

Shion took Nezumi’s hands off the railing and held them in his own. Shion’s hands were warm, like Shion himself. It was as if a fire burned in each of them. But this fire wasn’t dangerous; it was like the fire in Shion’s eyes – comforting, and homely, and safe.

“I’d – I’d like to thank you for telling me all of that.” He took a step closer to Nezumi. Shion’s blush was contrasted greatly with the grey sky and dull buildings. He looked as red as a rose in full bloom. “Thank you.”

He cupped Nezumi’s face in his hands. His fingers felt warm against Nezumi’s flushed cheeks. Shion closed his eyes, and Nezumi let his slide closed too.

It was a butterfly kiss. Their lips barely brushed, landing on each other with the lightness of a feather. He could feel Shion’s breath against his mouth, like fluttering wings, light and faint and delicate. It lasted only a couple seconds before they broke apart. It felt as though a butterfly had landed on his lips for an instant and flown away just as quick, and Nezumi wanted to reach out and catch it before it flew away.

It was teasing. It was fleeting. He wasn’t even sure if it qualified as a kiss.

But it left him craving so much more. He wanted to grab the other’s face and smash it against his own and turn a butterfly kiss into something a bit more animalistic.

 _Not now, not now,_ Nezumi told himself. Because something was off about that kiss.

Shion seemed…desolate. Despondent. Regretful. He smiled at the ground, but his smile held no joy. When someone honestly thanked you (Nezumi had limited experience with this, but that was why he couldn’t forget) they were open about it, reflecting outward and not inward. Thank you’s were passionate and unabashed. The butterfly kiss was neither.

“That wasn’t a thank you kiss,” he said.

Shion didn’t say anything.

“You think I can’t tell?” Nezumi chided. “I’ve kissed enough people to know what a _Thank You_ kiss was, and that wasn’t it. That was a _Sorry_ kiss. What are you sorry about?”

Shion closed his eyes and scrunched his face in concentration.

“Shion – ”

“I’m sorry because I got you involved. I’m sorry because I’m getting you more involved,” he said suddenly. He spat out the words guiltily.

Nezumi raised his eyebrows.

Shion sighed, and Nezumi could see the tiny huff of air white against the dark sky. “I’m going to tell you about number six.” Shion shivered.

Nezumi nodded. He kept his curiosity at bay, though, as he ushered Shion inside and told him, “Let’s get dry first. Then you can tell me all about this number six thing.”

* * *

“I’m sorry. I…I don’t really know how to start.”

They sat on the red battered couch, facing each other. Nezumi sat with his legs crossed while Shion hugged his knees tight against his body. They had both dried their hair and changed into comfy clothes, and Shion had a fleece blanket wrapped around him upon Nezumi’s insistence. The wind and rain still raged outside, pattering loudly against the window. The only other sound was the scratching of their mice, eagerly gathering by the edge of their cage as if they wanted to listen in too.

As curious as he was to finally find out about whatever Shion had been hiding, Nezumi knew he was treading on precarious ground. “Does it have to do with your scar?”

Shion closed his eyes and nodded.

“How about you just start by telling me what number six is?”

Shion nodded, and Nezumi prepared himself. This is what he’d been waiting to hear, what he had demanded Shion tell him during their argument in the alleyway. He had multiple theories to explain what it could be. But with evidence of the nightmares, the scars, the fear; moving, dying his hair in middle school – one seemed to ring truer than the rest, though he hoped to God he was wrong.

Shion sucked in a deep breath, and said, “Number six is a euphemism for a series of court hearings, and for the person they involved. Investigation of child abuse and domestic violence…of m-my father.

“It was my social worker and lawyer's, Yoming’s, sixth case. My mom and I didn’t like to talk about my father, so we just called this whole, well, incident, number six.”

 _Abuse…_ It was as Nezumi feared. He reprimanded himself for not noticing earlier. So many of the kids he’d grown up with had suffered from the same thing, but Nezumi hadn’t even been able to spot it in his best friend.

He listened intently as Shion continued his story. It was the least he could do to make it up to him.

“Four years ago – no, this started long before then. For as long as I can remember, my – m-my d-d-dad, he…he was an alcoholic. He always came home drunk and when he got drunk he – he was very aggressive and, and physical. Especially when he got _really_ drunk.

“At first it was just yelling. He yelled at my mom, for quitting her job to take care of me, or for not buying the right alcohol, or some other stupid thing…then I started noticing bruises on her arms, or cuts or scraps. My mother’s eyes…they used to hold a light and now they were empty, and I started to worry for her.”

Nezumi thought back to Karan and her overprotective nature of her son. It made a lot more sense. But despite having never seen her in person, Nezumi found it hard to imagine this woman as anything but strong and lively.

“I didn’t have much time to worry, though, before he – he turned to me. You see, he – he was one of the top students in his class, and he graduated from a good university but, well, he was bad at communicating and he couldn’t hold a decent job for very long. He, um, I suppose he wanted to live out his dream in me…Drunk or sober, he pestered me about grades. I was only in elementary school when he started – ”

Shion’s hands formed fists that trembled violently. Nezumi reached out and clasped his hands around Shion’s, lightly rubbing his thumbs around Shion’s hands. Already, a fearsome anger against Shion’s father had started festering in Nezumi’s mind.

“ - he started hitting me for receiving any mark below an A. Mother tried to stop him, but, but then he’d _hit_ h-her and I didn’t w-want that so I told her to stop, I _made_ her stop because it was my fault for not achieving the best, not hers.”

Nezumi forced down his feelings of resentment and anger. _Let him finish first._

“Once I tried to be rebellious. I – I was sick of being hit. I hated when the kids asked me why I had bruises on my arms because I was never a good liar and the pressure of always doing well was messing with my mind and I was constantly anxious and I didn’t have a lot of support at the time, besides Safu and my mom, but Safu didn’t know about my dad and Mother…I couldn’t let her stand up for me. Not when he was beating her every other night.

“So I failed a test. Purposely.

“When I came home with the paper in my bag with a bright red F on the front I started getting scared and I hid the test from him but he went through my stuff and he found it, and when h-he d-d-did he – he threw a fit…he t-told me I was worthless and s-stupid and I would never be g-good enough or l-l-loved because I failed one test and he t-threw a glass at me. I had a concussion for two weeks but the cuts weren’t very deep so they faded quickly. I told everyone I slipped in my kitchen and hit a glass.”

If it was even possible, Shion’s eyes became even darker, and he fists clenched tighter than ever.

“Something cracked within him that time. I don’t know if I-I caused it, or if it was something else entirely, but after that day, he was constantly on edge, and worse than ever.

“But the worst started in middle school. I began to realize…I liked boys. I didn’t know a lot of things back then, but I did know that people thought it was abnormal and wrong and I knew that if my dad found out his perfect son liked boys he – I had no idea what he would do. So I never said anything. For two years. It was my one secret I kept hidden from him – at least…until he f-found out.

“I’d been, well, I kissed the boy down the street. We’d been experimenting, I guess. But I think the boy’s mom told my dad, because that evening when he came home, he was drunker than I’d ever seen him, and he was furious. I swear his eyes were r-red and his face was red and his eyes were red, everything was red and – he yelled at me with his booming voice, and he shoved me and I tried to apologize but – ”

Nezumi saw the scene in his head as Shion narrated it.

_A big, booming man whose skin is patchy with red and his eyes are watery and mean yells at a poor, helpless boy._

_He storms up to the boy, and the boy is crying but his face is as pale as paper and he shouts and points in the boy’s face, “You’re a worthless faggot! I can’t believe my son would do something so vulgar and unnatural! You have disappointed me, Shion, you’ve made your dad very angry, you’re supposed to be the perfect son, but you’ve failed me! You’re a pervert who couldn’t keep his dirty little hands off another boy! You know what? You need to be taught a lesson.”_

_The mother comes running into the room, begging, pleading with the man, “Please! Don’t do this! He’s had enough! He’s learned his lesson! Please, let him be!” Tears or frustration stream drown her face. The man turns to her and smacks her head – she falls against the table and crumples to the ground in a motionless heap._

_“Mom!” the boy yells, crawling over to his mother._

_The man unbuckles the belt around his pants. “I’m not finished with you…”_

“He – he beat you? With his belt?”

Shion nodded. He touches the red line on his face gingerly. “That’s how I got these.”

Nezumi was shocked to hear that Shion had gone through such a traumatic experience. He held Shion’s hands tighter and grimaced on behalf of the pain Shion felt.

Shion sat with his eyes closed tight, as if trying to fight off an invisible voice in his head. Nezumi supposed he actually was doing something of the sort. He waited patiently, unconsciously moving closer to Shion as he took his time to continue his story.

“That was the worst. But also – I couldn’t explain my – my wounds to the kids at school, but I couldn’t tell them, either. That would only lead to worse consequences…”

Shion looked down, unable to meet Nezumi’s eyes. His voice was quiet and his hands trembled violently. “Besides, I felt like I – like I deserved to be beat. That I had gotten fair punishment.”

“Shion,” Nezumi interrupted. “You did not deserve punishment. Don’t ever say that about yourself, okay? You’d done nothing to warrant that, it was all your father’s fault.”

“I know…” Shion gave a half-hearted smile. “It’s just…hard to remember that sometimes.

“It was Safu that squeezed the truth out of me. She got me to admit my dad had been a-abusing my mom and I and she made me talk to the teacher, who sent me to the principal. I don’t know how exactly it all happened – but that day, when I came home, the police were at our house.

“Funny thing was…they weren’t here about us. No, that didn’t come until a week later, _after_ they’d arrested him. It turns out that he’d been part of a criminal organization, that was stealing and embezzling money and all kinds of illegal stuff…he’d been stealing to pay for the alcohol. It was some serious stuff too, not petty theft, and he'd been an important figure in that group. The police had finally found out who he was, and had evidence too, so they arrested him.

“B-but he didn’t know that then…he thought I had turned him in, and he wasn’t wrong…just about what I turned him in for… They were taking him away, and he was in handcuffs. He struggled against them, and his face was red with rage and – and as they forced him into the police car, he saw me. I s-swear his eyes lit up like lightning when he saw me. H-he yelled at me – ‘Shion, you broke down my walls. You revealed our secret to everyone. You’re responsible for putting me in this situation. It’s your fault. Why did you betray my trust, son?

“I’ll never be able to forgive you.’”

“He started cussing then, yelling about how he was g-going to g-g-get revenge on me for r-ratting him out. I believe every word he said back then. He…he’s a man of fierce determination, if nothing else.

“It was…a messy affair, to say the least. He was on trial for stealing, but the Child Protection Services – that was who the principal contacted – were investigating his abusive behaviors at the same time. Mother tried to keep it under wraps…that’s when I met Rikiga, too. He was working to the newspaper, reporting on our situation. But mom convinced him to refrain from publishing it…when I was talking to him, it seemed like that was one of the factors that led to him losing his job.

“After the court case and the investigation were over Mom and I – she had gained full custody of me – moved to West Block, and I met you. But before that, they sentenced my d-dad to a couple of years in jail…I thought it was a lot, back then.

“It turns out it was only four.”

_“Four?!”_

“He pulled some strings. A lot of them apparently. Like I said, he was part of a criminal organization…the police found out a lot from his activities…you’d never believe who he had bargained with.”

Nezumi added the years quickly in his head. “Four years…that means - !”

Shion smiled somberly. “He gets out today. August 24th. He’s going to figure out where I live, and then he’d going to come for me.”

“There’s no way he’ll be able to do that!”

“I bet you anything he still has friends in high places. And he always finds a way. And he always gets revenge.”

 

Nezumi took all the information in. August 24th, August 24th – his audition was today. For the role of Viola – a part he was dying to play. He’d spent the last week preparing meticulously, practicing lines every waking moment, perfecting his movements and even picking out his clothes.

He imagined that in a couple hours, his agent would be texting his phone non-stop to try and get his attention, to get him to come. Nezumi really wanted that part. His agent had assured the part was practically in the bag, since he knew the director, and Nezumi was, well, Nezumi.

But, without a moment’s hesitation, he altered his plans for the day.

“I’ll stay here with you.”

Shion looked at his feet and smiled “…I thought you’d say that. But…you don’t have too. I don’t want to ruin any plans you had today – ”

The hand Nezumi placed over Shion’s mouth prevented him from talking any more.

“I have no plans. My schedule is completely clear. There’s no way I’m leaving you now, Shion.”

Shion gently pushed Nezumi’s hand off of his mouth. “I just – I don’t want you to get hurt because of him,” Shion stammered. “T-that’s why I didn’t want to tell you before…I was afraid that – that if he figured out what you m-meant to me, h-he’d hurt you too – _uff!”_

Nezumi seized Shion in a tight hug, wrapping his arms protectively around Shion’s small frame and resting his chin on Shion’s shoulder. It took Shion a moment to relax into the hug, to let go of all the tensions in his body. When he did, he held onto Nezumi with ferocity. Nezumi could feel him trembling slightly as hot tears dripped onto his shirt.

Nezumi whispered in his ear, “Don’t you dare worry about me right now. I’ll be fine, I’m strong, stronger than him. _We_ are stronger than him. If he comes, we’ll face him together.”

Shion hiccupped. “I-I don’t know if I’m that strong…”

Nezumi leaned back and held Shion’s face between his palms, looking him right in the eye. _How could he say that about himself?_ Nezumi wondered.

“It’s true, you’re not that strong – physically. That’s why you have me.

“But mentally? You’re incredibly strong, much stronger than you realize. Those guys you fought in the alley? You could have run away, but you didn’t, even after realizing they’d overpower you. Even though you – you went through all that shit – ” Nezumi clenched his fist “ – you came out of it. You’re here now, right? That means you’ve won, because you’ve survived, and you’ve survived a whole lot better than he has, too.”

Shion’s eyes were leaking tears, trickling quietly and steadily like a little creek in a deep forest. One of his hands covered Nezumi’s. “Thank you.” He whispered so softly Nezumi almost didn’t hear him. “I just don’t know if I can be strong now…”

“We’re both in this together, right?”

Shion reluctantly nodded.

“You’re at your strongest when you’re fighting for others. So, fight for me. Be strong for me.”

A look of realization, enlightenment, lit up Shion’s face. His resigned looked turned into one of determination. “I’ll protect you from him,” he said resolutely.

Nezumi glanced at the clock. 5:48. “It’s almost morning. I’m going to make some breakfast.”

Shion nodded and began to stand up. “I’ll help – ”

“Nope.” Nezumi pushed him back on the couch. He tightened the blanket around Shion’s shoulders. “You’re going to rest here. I’m going to put on _Cats_ and you’re going to watch it.”

“I take it that’s not a request?”

Nezumi bit back a smile. It was a good thing that Shion was feeling well enough to sass him. “It’s a demand.”

“Fine.”

Nezumi quickly found the DVD in one of his shelves and set up the TV for Shion to watch it. _Cats_ was one of his favorites so he always kept it within reach.

“I think I’d enjoy it more if you watched it with me,” Shion whispered.

Nezumi stood up and held out the remote to him. “I’ll join you as soon as breakfast is ready. Deal?”

Shion nodded, grabbing the remote. “Deal.”

Nezumi left Shion sitting peacefully on the couch and walked into the bedroom. There were a couple of things he had to do before he started breakfast.

First he went over to his dresser. He slowly pulled open the top draw, moved aside a pile of old dresses to reveal a gun beneath them.

Nezumi kept it for emergencies. He preferred to use his knife, which he kept in the trusty hidden pocket in his pajama bottoms. But just in case, he pulled out the gun and stuck it as discreetly as he could in the back of his pants. He thought it improbable that No. 6 would actually come to their apartment, but he didn’t know anything about this guy but he didn’t want to take any chances, especially if Shion was this scared.

He pulled out his phone next and texted Rikiga and Inukashi, warning them that something might happen. Then he checked his _3 new messages_. Two were from his agent, from yesterday, warning him about today’s audition. He texted him back a quick _Can’t make it_ and read the third message on his phone.

 **From Karan:** _I don’t know what he told you, but Shion’s going to have a hard day today, and it would mean a lot if you could be by his side. Please, Nezumi, stay with him._

The gun weighed heavy in his back pocket as he texted her back.

 **To Karan:** _I promise I will._

* * *

“Macbeth soup?”

“Yes, soup for breakfast is the best breakfast. There wasn’t any chicken or noodles for chicken noodle soup, fortunately.”

“No…this is perfect, ‘Zumi.”

After finishing his Macbeth soup, Shion had fallen asleep on Nezumi’s lap in a matter of minutes. Nezumi tried to keep his eyes open, to stay awake and watch over Shion, but he was warm and comfortable and the lull of the song tempted him to sleep…

 

_Memory, all alone in the moonlight_

_I can dream of the old days_

_Life was beautiful then_

_I remember the time I knew what happiness was_

_Let the memory live again_

* * *

THUNK THUNK THUNK.

Nezumi’s eyes shot open. He tried to jump up but there was a warm weight on his legs. Shion.

THUNK THUNK THUNK.

Nezumi could see the door shaking. Shion got up then. The peaceful look on his face was replaced by one of terror.

“He’s here,” Shion whispered. Nezumi was genuinely surprised. It was only – he glanced at the clock – eleven in the morning. Nezumi thought that chances of No. 6 coming were small, let alone this early, but there was no mistaking the aggressive knock at the door.

Nezumi sprung onto his feet. “Go into the bedroom,” he whispered to Shion. “I’ll prevent him from opening the door.”

THUNK THUNK –

Clicking and scratching noises, as quiet as those from a mouse, sounded from the keyhole.

_Shit –_

Shion hadn’t moved from his position on the couch. He sat there, his face as white as a sheet, staring at the door.

“Go!” Nezumi demanded, but Shion didn’t move.

Reluctantly he gave up on Shion and threw himself against the door. The clicking noise stopped.

Nezumi dug his feet into the carpet and braced himself against the –

SWOOSH. The door flung open, sending Nezumi flying to the ground.

_Shit, this guy’s strong –_

Standing in the doorway was a tall, rather nondescript man with big arms. Upon closer examination, though, his face was gaunt and his eyes looked hollow and dead. He didn’t look at all like Shion. He looked bored, with his tired eyes and flat mouth, but his wide stance and looming presence made him menacing.

Number six.

The man looked straight ahead at Shion, who still sat frozen on the couch. “Hello Shion,” he said. His voice was deep and gravely and flat.

Anger engulfed Nezumi. This was the man who’d hurt Shion, who’s hurt him so deeply that he left mental scars almost as prominent as physical ones. The brute who abused Karan, the drunk who’d had his own underground organization, who’d escaped from jail to harm his son yet again. How could anyone hurt Shion, let alone his own father?

“And you must be Nezumi,” No. 6 turned to him with a black glint in his eye. He smiled, showing off browned and decaying teeth. “Or should I say, Eve?”

 _Huh?_ Nezumi jumped back onto his feet, reaching for his gun in his back pocket.

It wasn’t there.

“Once I found out my son was living with a dangerous vagabond, I believed it best to take him out beforehand. Of course, it seems my henchmen weren’t very successful. I’ll give you some credit, Eve, it seems I’ve underestimated you.”

Why wasn’t his gun there? Where could it have gone? Maybe it fell out when he was sleeping...but that wasn’t important now. All that mattered was that he didn’t have it.

“Those guy…the ones that h-hurt Nezumi…that was all you?” Shion said.

No. 6 smiled again. “I’d rather not take credit for such a badly executed job, but yes, that was me.”

His anger flared again, but he forced it down. _You don't have time to be mad,_ thought Nezumi. His eyes didn’t waiver from No. 6 as he drew his knife out of his inner pocket.

No. 6’s empty gaze slid over to Nezumi. “If you don’t mind, I’d like a word with my – ”

“Don’t you dare even look at Shion!” Nezumi yelled.

No. 6 gave a heartless laugh. Nezumi took the chance to whip out his knife and spin behind him. He placed his knife right over a point in his back.

“Don’t move a fucking inch, because if you do I’ll stab you right through your back and this blade with piece through your heart and kill you in an instant,” he hissed under his breath. His heart pounded loud in his chest. The last time he’d been this nervous about a fight was when he found Shion in a chokehold. He was acutely aware of Shion now; he still sat motionless on the couch.

The man’s back muscles clenched and Nezumi pressed his knife closer against his skin. “Not bad…” No. 6 chuckled as he raised his hands to surrender.

 _That’s right, you better surrender._ Prepared to take No. 6 down, he instructed, “Shion, I need you to – ”

Shion yelled, “Nezumi watch out – ”

“Shit!”  Nezumi’s legs were swept out from underneath him by No. 6’s foot. He caught himself before he fell but No. 6 turned around and grabbed his wrists.

Nezumi growled at him, but No. 6 just cocked his head.

 _You’ll pay for that,_ he thought, discreetly pulling his leg back. But before Nezumi could kick him in the crotch No. 6 flung him into the wall.

 _Crash!_ Nezumi’s legs crumpled underneath him. “Nezumi!” he heard Shion yell, but he was too dizzy to respond. He blinked his eyes open and forced himself to focus. _I’m fine Shion I’ll be fine because I have to protect you…_ He picked up his knife, which had fallen on the floor, and staggered to his feet. This man evidently was a lot stronger than the three henchmen he’d sent to hurt Nezumi before.

Nezumi clenched the knife in his grip and lunged at No. 6, ducking under him at the last second to avoid his grip. He twirled around to face the man’s back and slashed at him but No. 6 jumped away and Nezumi only nicked his arm.

“Not bad, not bad at all.” No. 6 faced him now, but began to back away. “But this is getting boring now.”

His anger, a fire burning behind his eyes and in his heart, was too hot to ignore now. “Shut up!” Nezumi yelled. He lunged at No. 6 and thrust his knife at his chest –

The body in front of him seemed to disappear as No. 6 stepped smoothly out of the way.

 _I’m too emotional, and it’s going to make me loose,_ Nezumi thought the moment before he felt a huge hand grab the back of his head.

Before he could twist out of No. 6’s grip he was thrown straight at the wall, he was going to hit it head on it and _Shion, I –_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if that was a lot to cram in one chapter...hopefully you liked?
> 
> I kind of thought that an abusive parental relationship could kind of parallel No. 6 society? Since no one else really knew what was going on with Shion and his father, just like how everyone in No. 6 thought everything was dandy. But really, despite outward appearances, No. 6’s citizens are being hurt by society like Shion was being hurt by his father No. 6. 
> 
> *I know nothing about child abuse NOTHING besides what I looked up so if there's anything wrong let me know  
> *Actions sequences are hard so if you have any comments/critiques that would be appreciated  
> *Did you guys like the end of that? I did ;)


	15. Shion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was so late! I had a really hard time writing this chapter since I basically had nothing planned. My outline for this scene was literally three words and I struggled man, I struggled. But I noticed that in a few days, it would be a whole month since I last updated so I cranked this out.
> 
> Wow 3000 hits thanks you guys!! And thanks for all the comments and kudos too! It means so much and I'm so, so grateful to have such amazing people read this fic!
> 
>  
> 
> _Holy fuck 70,000 words that's so many. That's so so many._

“Nezumi!”

He hit the wall with a loud crash and slumped to the floor. Shion’s fists clenched the edge of couch as he waited for Nezumi to get up. But he continued to lie there – motionless.

“Nezumi…” It was just as Shion had predicted: Nezumi had gotten hurt because Shion had let him in on all this and now he was lying unconscious on the floor and was he unconscious – he _had_ to be unconscious he couldn’t be – he couldn’t be _dead_ –

“Shion.” That voice. That horrible voice interrupted his thoughts. Shion turned his attention to his father, who still stood casually by the door.

Seeing him again – he barely changed at all after four years, after rotting in prison – had taken its toll on Shion. He was frozen the moment No. 6 stepped in the door. Fear had melted his bones and paralyzed him on the spot and his stomach ached and his limbs felt limp. He hadn’t been able to do anything while Nezumi fought for him, and now Nezumi was paying the price for Shion’s complacency. ~~~~

_I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this_.

“Shion, I’d like to talk to you,” he said. He looked at Shion with those empty, unfeeling eyes and took a step closer. Shion snapped out of his daze and instinctively jumped back. He scrambled off the couch and back up against the bookshelves, something cold digging uncomfortably into his back – cold, hard metal.

 

 _It’s been an hour since Nezumi fell asleep on him and_ Cats _ended. Shion lies awake in the dim light from the screen, too anxious to get up and turn the TV off. He can’t fall asleep. He can’t even bring himself to close his eyes, even though it would be easier than forcing them to stay open at this late hour._

_Nezumi shifts over him, sighing softly as he drapes his arm around Shion. His hair, still slightly damp from the rain, tickles his neck._

_And despite everything that’s happened, that’s about to happen, Shion smiles. After angsting over his relationship with Nezumi for a month – more that a month – he’d kissed Nezumi. And Nezumi had accepted it. Shion touched his lips, remembering the tingling sensation that had been left on his mouth when they had parted._

_The tingle had disappeared when he told Nezumi his story. Beginning his tale to Nezumi had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. But once he started, it had gotten easier. He felt safe and warm and accepted and loved when Nezumi held him, so the words had slipped from his lips with ease._

_Nezumi shifts again and Shion feels something cold touch his leg. Something metal. Shion sits up slowly, careful to not disturb Nezumi, and reaches for the object._

_It’s a gun._

_Shion’s only held a gun once before, when his father had taken him to a shooting range once a long time ago. Despite that, it feels foreign and wrong in his hands, like an object of unknown use from an unfamiliar culture. He hadn’t even known Nezumi had it._

_Shion can’t make out many details of the gun with only the artificial light from the tv screen, but he can feel the cool metal, the plastic finish and the grip. It’s lighter than he expected it would be._

_Suddenly, it’s if he knows the purpose of this foreign object. It’s a tool. It’s a tool that will keep him and Nezumi safe._

_For a brief second, Shion thinks that the gun might be of better us in Nezumi’s hand. He’s probably a better shot and knows how to handle it safely. But Shion slides the weapon into the back of his pants anyway. Shion is useless; he knows it, Nezumi knows it, his father definitely knows it. But with a gun – a weapon, a tool, even if it is unfamiliar – Shion can protect Nezumi and himself._

_He hopes he doesn’t have to use it. He hopes it can stay tucked in the back of his pants and remains uncorrupted. But Shion feels safer with this foreign object at his side, he feels powerful. He finally feels relaxed enough to let his eyes droop close and join Nezumi in the arms of sleep._

No. 6 laughed. “Are you afraid, Shion? I’d say you shouldn’t be, but then I’d be lying.”

Shion clenched his teeth and his fists, digging his fingernails into his palms. HIs focus waivered; but so did his fear. He couldn’t bring himself to focus on his father when the crumpled heap on the ground was within his vision. He couldn’t allow his fear to overwhelm him while Nezumi sat helpless on the floor.

Sirens sounded in the distance. No. 6 seemed unfazed. He teased, “You called the cops on me? That was rude, I just got here.”

No. 6’s words went unheard in his ears. “You…you hurt Nezumi,” Shion said.

“I did. But he would have hurt me first. In fact, he did hurt me.” He gestured to his bleeding arm.

“Before…you sent people to hurt him…”

“I did.”

A feeling of rage overwhelmed Shion. It ignited his blood in a fiery mix of anger and hate and hostility and fear but his mind, his conscious, felt as cold as ice. _He hurt Nezumi. Purposely. More than once. How dare he…!_ The fiery passion brought life back into his body once frozen by fear, waking up his fists and heating his skin, amplifying the coldness of the gun pressed into his back. He’d only felt this way once before, a month ago when Nezumi had come home covered with cuts and bruises. All his fear of No. 6 disappeared and was replaced by blinding hatred. It turned his vision as red as the blood that once coated the man’s hands.

Nezumi’s words from last night sounded in his ears: _Fight for me. Be strong for me._

Something snapped within Shion. His hands stopped shaking. His voice sounded as cold as his father’s. “How dare you…”

Shion reached behind him and slowly pulled out the gun. He pointed it at No. 6 with shaking hands. No. 6’s eyes widened slightly at the sight.

“You’ve hurt me…you’ve hurt me so much for so long,” Shion said calmly. “And I suffered through it. I let you beat me around…and I thought I deserved it…so I put up with it.”

_You did deserve it, Shion._

“Shut up!” Shion yelled. He’s not sure if his father was speaking or his mind was filling in the blanks for him. His eyes slide across Nezumi’s figure, crumpled on the floor. “I don’t care what you did to me. It doesn’t matter. But you – you hurt Nezumi.”

The man snickered. “Was he your boyfriend? It’s probably a good thing I’m going to take care of him, then. Right after I finish my lesson with you…”

No. 6 wandered over to where Nezumi was, and eyed him with a malicious grin. “You don’t have the guts to shoot me. You never had the guts to do anything.”

He reached for the knife lying next to Nezumi. “I’m going to teach you a lesson to never rat on me again, and then I’m going to finish off you little boyfriend here – ” He reached out his hand to touch Nezumi. “Or maybe I should do that first, while you’re still conscious.”

“DON’T!” Shion screeched. His father held still. He looked smaller behind the barrel of the gun in Shion’s hands. “ _D-don’t touch him_ ,” he hissed between clenched teeth.

Sirens sounded louder, and No. 6 started to look uncomfortable for the first time. He shook his head and cleared the look of uncertainly from his face and replaced with a cruel smirk. “What? Like this?”

He forcefully kicked Nezumi’s side, rolling him over. A groan came from Nezumi as he curled in on himself.

 “S-s-s-shion…” came a whisper from his lips, barely audible.

“Nezumi!” His mind clouded with dark thoughts like ominous storm clouds, circling about his head in such a racket that he couldn’t tell right from wrong anymore. His eyes blurred over and the world became black and white. Shion aimed the gun so it was pointed at his father.

 _He touched Nezumi he hurt Nezumi how dare no one should hurt Nezumi_ especially _him I can’t let him touch him I can’t let him hurt someone else I can’t let him hurt Nezumi –_

The blurred shape of No. 6 held his hands up mockingly. “Hey now, that’s not nice, to point a gun at your own father…Shion, be a nice boy now…”

 _Don’t talk to me don’t look at me don’t look at him you’re not my father a real father wouldn’t go after my friend and I’m_ not _a nice boy, I’m not –_

“…or else I’m going to hurt your little mouse here – ” No. 6 whipped out the knife in a flash, the glint from the shiny blade flashing sharp in Shion’s eyes compared to the rest of his surrounding.

Nezumi pulled himself up and his desperate eyes met Shion’s unfocused ones. They were the same silver grey as the fatal knife.

_DON’T HURT HIM._

The knife arced down in a foul swoop –

_Bang!_

The shot pierced his father’s shoulder. The red swell of blood was nothing compared to the mask disbelief that painted his face.

“S-shion – !”

_Bang!_

He stumbled back on unsteady legs, blood leaking from the hole in his head in streams of red. He hit the floor with a gruesome thud before his last breath of air could reach his lungs.

“Shion…”

Color returned to his vision. His thoughts cleared. The blurred images came into focus. Just like a ship that had braved through a stormy night, though, he could now see that damaged that the storm had brought.

There was a dead body on the ground. And it was his doing.

“This can’t be happening…you would never…” Nezumi slowly rose onto his knees, holding his head with a shaking hand. He looked more terrified than Shion had ever seen him before, like someone had carved a section of his soul from his being.

He looked as if he was terrified…of Shion.

It hit him suddenly and without warning like the bullet he’d shot through his father’s head.

“I killed him,” he mumbled to himself. The gun dropped from his hand like a rock and his knees gave out. Blood pooled around the dead body, running across the floor and staining his knees and his hands. “I killed a human being. I killed someone…”

The room began to look blurry again, and black spots danced in his vision _. A dance for the dead,_ Shion thought to himself as his consciousness faded away. Sirens wailed loudly as if their crying and singing was morbid music for the dance. _Black spots dancing in a ceremony for the dead…_

* * *

 Shion woke up with a weight on his chest. He blinked open his eyes, adjusting to the harsh fluorescent light of the room, to see that there wasn’t anything on his chest at all.

It was the first time in months he’d woken up somewhere other than his and Nezumi’s bedroom. He missed the soft yellow light that poked through their window in the morning, and the scratchy blankets and uncomfortable futon. He missed waking up beside Nezumi –

“You awake?”

Shion looked beside him to see that there was another bed in the room. Occupied by his favorite drag queen. It turned out he didn’t have to miss that, at least.

A slight smile came across Shion’s face. “…take a wild guess…”

Nezumi didn’t smile back.

The weight on his chest was there again. Shion realized with a jolt that it wasn’t a literal weight.

He rested back against the pillows and stared at the ceiling.

“Do you remember what happened?” Nezumi asked softly.

 _Yes,_ he thought. _But I don’t want to._

“Shion. Look at me,” Nezumi demanded threateningly, even if he didn’t seem that threatening in a hospital gown with a bandage wrapped around his head.

“Look at me!”

Shion forced himself to look at Nezumi. Guilt consumed him as Nezumi’s darting eyes scrutinized him. Suddenly they softened, and Nezumi closed his eyes and mumbled, “Good. You’re still you. I thought maybe…but no.”

Shion released a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.

“After you passed out, the police arrived. Apparently Inukashi had had the good sense to call them when your – when number six forced his way up the stairs,” Nezumi explained. “I told them what happened, or tried to at least…I don’t know how long I was out for. They took number six’s body away and brought us to the hospital…they said we’d work things out later.”

“What day is it?” Shion asked.

“The twenty fifth. You’ve only missed a day. That was probably a good thing, actually…”

Shion had to agree with that. He couldn’t imagine meeting with the police and explaining what happened. He would have been too overwhelmed to even make a coherent sentence, much less clear up the situation.

For once, Nezumi struggled to find the right words. “Now can you…can you explain what happened…why you…”

Shion didn’t answer.

Could he? Could he explain what had come over him, that had resulted in a violent end to his father’s life? “…I don’t think so,” he said simply.

Nezumi and Shion sat in silence as a nurse came in to check on them both. She had just finished when a visitor burst into the room.

“I can’t believe you won’t let me in just for a moment - !” exclaimed a girl with a dark bob and defiant stare. The nurse attempted to push her out, but Shion told her it was okay. The nurse reluctantly let her go and walked out.

“Hi Safu,” Shion said. He was glad to see her. She’d always been someone who was there for him, he could always trust her, and right now he really felt he needed her.

Seeing the look on her face, though, it probably wasn’t the best time.

She was somewhere between rage and relief. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth downturned in a pout, but her lips trembled and her eyes watered. “Oh Shion…”

She ran up to his bedside and hugged him delicately. He embraced her tightly as she sobbed into his hospital gown.

“I’m just…” she sniffed, “I’m j-just so happy your safe…” She let go of him and held his shoulders firmly. “When I first walked in here, I was going to yell at you for not telling me anything and for not getting professional help but – but when I saw you just now…you look so small in that bed…I j-just can’t help but be happy you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” Shion told her. He really was sorry, even if he wouldn’t change that if he could. “I just wanted you to be safe. I know you helped me last time, but we both were lucky. I didn’t know if we’d be lucky again…”

Neither of them brought up the elephant in the room. That Shion was right – this time they _hadn’t_ been lucky.

“I’m not going to stay much longer,” Safu said suddenly, standing up. “You need to rest. I’m not going to forgive you for keeping me in the dark…not yet, at least. But I’m still going to help you. Once you get out checked out of the hospital, we can…we can work things out. And you’re not going to stop me from helping this time, okay?”

Shion smiled. “Okay.”

Safu kissed the top of Shion’s head and hugged him one last time, and then walked over to Nezumi’s bed.

She took his hand in hers. Shion heard what she told Nezumi even though she wasn’t facing him.

“Thank you for trying to protect him. And for standing by his side when I couldn’t. I think…you _have_ been good to him. So whatever is going on between you two right now – it’s okay.” She let go of his hand and walked out of the rooming, smiling at Shion one last time.

“What was that about?” Shion asked.

Nezumi smiled. “I’m not quite sure, but I don’t think I have to worry about her trying to bite my head off.”

 

After the nurse returned to check their vitals, they had several more visitors.

First were Inukashi and Rikiga, who had inexplicably come together.

“Thank you for calling the cops,” was the first thing Shion told Inukashi.

They shrugged. “No big deal. I just wish I could have had enough time for my dogs to attack him.”

“What even happened?” Nezumi asked.

“He came bursting through the door. Didn’t say a word to me, just started stomping up the stairs. I yelled at him but he didn’t listen, and once I heard the banging upstairs, I called the cops.”

“And where were you during all this?” Nezumi asked Rikiga.

Rikiga straightened his bow tie and looked Nezumi in the eye. “I was sleeping. Because that night I’d been up late calling the police department and other contacts trying to figure out why number six had been released so early – he and his lawyer definitely used some illegal loopholes. Whatever comes after this…I’ve got your back, Shion.”

“Thank you,” Shion told him sincerely. He was amazed that both these people had gone through so much for him. He’d only really known them for the summer, yet they’d both tried to help him and had even come to visit him and Nezumi in the hospital. “It means so much to me, everything that you’ve done for us. And coming to visit us in the hospital too…”

“We only came for you,” Inukashi announced unabashedly. Rikiga nodded in agreement. “Nezumi just happened to be here, so…”

“Wow, I’m in awe of your pure, unadulterated apathy towards me.” Nezumi smirked. “It is truly a thing of beauty.”

Shion laughed. He noticed his throat was dry, and started coughing.

“Are you alright?” Rikiga asked, placing a hand on Shion’s shoulder. “Can I get you anything?”

“Water please,” Shion said between coughs.

When Rikiga left the room, Inukashi turned to Shion. “He was the one who suggested we come,” they said. “You should’ve seen him – he came down when the police arrived and was a mess. It really looked like he _had_ been up all night. He was worried sick about you, you know. It took me _ages_ to calm him down enough to explain what he knew about all this.”

They lowered their eyes. “I’m sorry about your father, Shion.”

Shion smiled at them, even though they weren’t looking at him. “I appreciate your sympathy.”

Rikiga came back with a paper cup of water and a message from the nurse urging them to ‘get out’. As Shion’s neighbors left, he thought to himself that it was strange to see them together, talking so freely. But it was a good kind of strange.

 

The next visitors were for Nezumi. It was his crew from Elyurias: Erwin, Levi, and Hanji.

“So you’re alive after all,” Levi commented, looking at Nezumi.

“Sorry about that,” Nezumi countered.

“No, it’s a good thing.” Levi gave the tiniest of smiles. “Erwin would flip his shit if we lost our most popular performer.”

“Quit it,” Erwin told Levi. “We’re all just happy you’re okay.”

“Even if shorty won’t admit it, he’s actually glad you’re not dead,” Hanji said. They leaned in and patted Nezumi on the head. “Don’t go scarring us like that again, okay? Erwin probably couldn’t handle the stress in his old age.”

“…why must you both always pick on me,” Shion heard Erwin mutter under his breath.

“Now tell me the important thing!” Hanji announced. They pointed one accusing finger at Nezumi and the other at Shion. “Have you two fucked yet?”

Shion’s face went red. “No! I, uh, no…” he tried to defend himself.

Nezumi slapped their hand away and said, “No, we haven’t, and even if we did it’d be none of your fucking business.”

“Ugh, you guys are so slow. Have you at least gotten together?”

Shion looked over at Nezumi. In all the craziness, he’d almost forgotten about his kiss with Nezumi. Almost. Did that kiss mean they were together? Would Nezumi still be willing to do that after everything they went through? ...after he’d seen Shion … _kill_ someone?

Nezumi looked back at him, but Shion couldn’t read his expression. His grey eyes held hope, but also sadness.

“Don’t pry into other people’s business, Hanji,” he said, not taking his eyes off Shion.

“I’ll take that as a yes!” they exclaimed, pumping their fists.

Erwin turned to Nezumi and told him, “I’ll call you about work later. For now…just work on feeling better. Mentally as well as physically, you hear?”

Nezumi saluted his boss. The guys from Elyurias walked out as Nezumi sarcastically called, “Yes, Commander.”

 

Shion was thrilled to see their final visitor.

“Mom!” Shion exclaimed, surprised by his mother’s sudden appearance as she ran up to Shion’s bedside.

“Oh, Shion – are you all right? Of course you’re not, you’re in the hospital…” Karan lamented. She stroked his hand delicately as she spoke. “I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that he would – that he would actually…I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry Shion, I should have listened to you, I should have made sure you were safer, I – ”

Karan choked on her tears.  “I’m j-just so glad you’re safe…” She threw her arms around Shion’s neck and sobbed into his shoulder, hugging him tightly. Shion felt tears arise in his own eyes. He felt that he could finally relax in her arms

“I’m really glad to see you,” he told her. Even if he had enjoyed living with Nezumi, he had missed his mother and her hugs and her smile and her baking.

“I’m really glad to see you too,” she said, releasing her hug and stroking Shion’s hair once before turning to the other bed.

Shion couldn’t tell what Nezumi was thinking; his face was blank as she approached him, but Shion knew they had been keeping in contact.

“You must be Nezumi,” his mother said fondly.

“And you must be Karan,” Nezumi said, holding out his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you – ”

Karan ignored Nezumi’s hand and swept him into a hug. Shion could see Nezumi freeze up and almost laughed. It was rare for someone to catch Nezumi off guard like that.

Eventually Karan let go and held Nezumi’s hand between her own. Shion could hear the gratitude in her voice as she told him, “Thank you, thank you so much for everything you’ve done for my son. You’ve treated him with kindness I couldn’t hope to repay and taught him things I never could. You’ve protected him – more than I will ever know, I bet – and stuck by his side in a difficult time – I cannot begin to express how grateful I am that you tried to protect him.”

“I’m only sorry I couldn’t have done better,” Nezumi said, barely above a whisper.

“Don’t be,” Karan assured him. “N-number six is a strong man and, and you stood up to him. That was more than enough.”

Nezumi smiled at her and nodded.

“I think you two have developed a bond, have you not? Well, I’m grateful for that. I’m glad Shion found someone like you.”

Shion was surprised to see Nezumi didn’t have a response for her; it seemed he was at loss for words. Shion didn’t really blame him, though.

“Before I go – only because I know you two need rest before you’re check out of here – there’s just a couple things…” Karan bent down and whispered something in Nezumi’s ear that Shion couldn’t make out. It made Nezumi blush a violent red.

Karan smiled and patted his head.

“And the other thing…” She reached into her purse and pulled out a white paper bag. “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to bring this in so I hid it in my purse…I had some cherry cake left over from the shop so I brought it here.” She handed Nezumi the bag and started towards the door. “I hope you boys feel better soon. I’ll be back before you know it!”

For the first time in a couple hours, Nezumi and Shion were left alone.

Nezumi moved so that his legs dangled off the side of his bed, and Shion did that same. He broke off a piece of cherry cake and handed it to Shion.

It smelled delicious, the way only cherry cake in a hospital can. Absentmindedly, Shion said, “If you thought my cherry cake was good, you’ll like this even better…”

Shion ate the piece of cake in silence while Nezumi watched him. Finally, he spoke.

“Do you think you can explain what happened now?”

Shion almost choked on his last gulp of cake. He swallowed it though, and felt it slide uncomfortably down his throat. He took a sip of water before answering Nezumi’s question.

“I don’t think I’ll eve be able to explain it…” Shion started. He stared at his hands. These were the same hands that had held the gun that had pulled the trigged that had shot the bullet that had killed No. 6. He clenched his fists and pretended he didn’t see blood on his hands. “Something came over me…it was like, I don’t know, it was like I wasn’t in control of myself. My instincts took over and I – and I shot him.”

“What instincts?” Nezumi asked calmly.

“…my instincts to protect you.”

Nezumi stared at him wordlessly.

Hot tears rolled down Shion’s face. He didn’t know why. “When I saw you lying there, on the floor – that was the breaking point. That was when I had to, when I had to shoot him. To protect you.” Shion shook his head. “I was so mad, Nezumi, I was furious. It was like my blood was on fire and I was so hot that I thought steam would come off me and I was just _so angry_ at him. It made me unfocused. I was like I couldn’t tell up from down…”

_Or right from wrong._

Nezumi set the paper bag on the bed next to him and wrapped his arms around Shion. His tears flowed more freely now as he latched onto Nezumi and held him tightly. “I’m – I’m j-just glad you’re s-safe…” he sobbed into Nezumi’s shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re safe too,” Nezumi said. “I’m sorry I had the gun – if I hadn’t had the gun you couldn’t have…couldn’t have…”

They sat like that for a while, clutching each other close, enclosed in each other’s warmth. Eventually Nezumi peeled himself off of Shion and sat next to him on his bed.

“Nezumi…” Shion finally gathered of the courage to say. “What are we? To each other, I mean?”

Nezumi reached towards Shion’s face and ran his hand down his tear-streaked cheek. He cupped Shion’s face and pulled it towards him, bringing him in for a kiss. Shion’s eyes fluttered close as Nezumi pressed his lips against Shion’s. This kiss was different; Nezumi pulled Shion’s face closer and he pushed and pulled against Shion’s mouth with passionate force that had Shion leaning closer as a pleasurable tingle prickled his lips. Nezumi’s mouth was soft and wet and Shion was just getting into it as Nezumi pulled away.

“Do you know what kind of kiss that was, Shion?” Nezumi asked mischievously.

Shion’s mind was still numb from the sudden kiss. “I…uh…” he took a moment to answer. “The good kind?”

Nezumi laughed. Shion thought that it was a pleasant sound, and he wanted to hear it more. “You’re not wrong, I guess. But it seems that you are a newbie to the language of kissing, so I’ll tell you.”

Nezumi grabbed his hands and Shion’s heart beat on edge in anticipation.

“It was ‘boyfriend’ kiss.”

Shion smiled. He tried to hold it back, but his grin only widened. “Oh,” he said. “I thought it was more of a ‘Man I really want to kiss Shion right now because he’s really hot’ kind of kiss.”

Nezumi smirked and rolled his eyes. “You have a lot to learn about the language of kissing…”

“Good thing I have you to teach me,” Shion said with a smile.

After a half an hour make out session, during which Shion learned _a lot_ about the language of kissing, they lay side by side on Shion’s bed.

“Hey ‘Zumi?” Shion said. “What’s going to happen now?”

Nezumi put his arms behind his head. “What do you mean?”

“With everything that happened…how’re we going to get through it all?”

Nezumi sat up. “I’d never thought I’d say this,” he said. “But we’re going to get through this together.”

He pulled Shion into another hug. “It’s going to be really hard…but I know you can get through it. You have Safu, you have Inukashi and Rikiga, you have your mom…and you have me.”

Shion smiled. “We’ll get through it together,” he echoed, relaxing into Nezumi’s open arms.

_Together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD THERE'S ONLY ONE CHAPTER AFTER THIS GAHHHH. This is basically the end of the fic, though...the last chapter is more of an epilogue...so I hoped you guys enjoyed it! 
> 
> *In case you were wondering what Karan whispered to Nezumi: “And if you’re going to make a move promise me to use protection and be gentle with him or _there will be **severe** consequences._ ”  
> *I thought about having Nezumi leave Shion after this, just to be canon compliant. But then I thought 'nah, better fix that part of the canon.' (you’re welcome)  
> *Shion was absolutely fucking right when he claimed their kiss was a ‘Man I really want to kiss Shion right now because he’s really hot’ kiss.  
> *A little later two policemen came to speak to Shion and Nezumi. One was tall and brooding with black hair and beautiful teal eyes and the other was a little shorter with long redish hair, red eyes and weird, pointy teeth. They seemed overly friendly with each other too...(guess who?)


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS IT GUYS. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER. THE VERY LAST CHAPTER.  
> Enjoy it while you can. (I’m not crying – you’re crying)  
> P.S. If you still haven't read Bus Ride do it now b/c there's so many parallels in this chapter it will make it so much better 
> 
> (BTW there's a link on the word Memory down below which I HIGHLY suggest you listen to while you read - don't worry it's instrumental)

_*6 months later*_

“[Memory](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XS3979XuDKU),  
All alone in the moonlight,  
I can smile at the old days,  
I was beautiful then.”

He sucked in another breath and continued to sing, disregarding the sweat dripping from his brow.

“I remember,  
A time I knew what happiness was,  
Let the memory live again.”

Nezumi stood in the center of the stage of the Pantages Theatre, sweating underneath his unsightly garb that was [Grizabella’s costume](http://webspace.webring.com/people/rj/jeminakitty/characters/griz.jpg). He ignored the scratchy wig, the heavy clothes and uncomfortable shoes. His sticky make-up melted under the harsh light of the spotlight that was trained solely on himself.

“Burnt out ends of smoky days,  
The stale, cold smell of morning.  
The streetlamp dies in the cold air,  
Another night is over,  
Another day is dawning!”

If someone had told Nezumi’s younger self that he’d one day be playing the lead of _Cats the Musical_ on an illustrious stage in Los Angeles, Nezumi would have laughed in their face. Yet here he was. After months of memorizing lines, grueling voice lessons, and putting up with the annoying cast and crew, it was opening night. Nezumi finally had the chance to showcase all his hard work with the most riveting performance he had ever given.

“Daylight!  
I must wait for the sunrise!  
I must think of a new life,  
And I mustn't give in.”

Nezumi waltzed across the stage, molding his face to express loneliness and regret, even forcing his eyes to water with sorrowful tears. He lifted his arm and reached out in front of him, his shaking hand grasping at something in the distance.

“When the dawn comes,  
Tonight will be a memory too.  
And a new day will begin.”

He couldn’t help but remember listening to this very song, four years ago, on a bus heading for West Block. He recalled the scene in his mind’s eye; the bright green trees flashing before his eyes, the smooth leather bus seats and the face of the kindest stranger in West Block. How could he forget the ignorant, talkative white-haired boy that had rudely interrupted him and set in course the events that would lead him to this very stage?

“…Like a flower as the dawn is breaking,  
The memory is fading.”

As is the nature of the stage, the audience was dark shadow to Nezumi, and he couldn’t make out a single face in the black mass. But he knew that among them was that same ignorant, talkative white haired boy. Except now, he was a man. And he was no longer a stranger, but Nezumi’s irreplaceable other half, who silently cheered him on from the audience. Shion had been so proud of Nezumi when, months ago, he’d told him he’d gotten a leading role in _Cats._

Even though Nezumi couldn’t see Shion, he sang the last lines of the song for him, hoping he would understand that Nezumi sang for him and always would.

“Touch me!  
It's so easy to leave me!  
All alone with the memory,  
Of my days in the sun.  
If you touch me,  
You'll understand what happiness is.  
Look, a new day has begun.”

The lights dimmed and Nezumi took his place for the next scene, smirking at the tremendous applause he received. He glanced quickly at the audience, and in the dim light, he could make out a smudge of white hair among the shadows. Nezumi hid his grin. Somehow, he knew that Shion had heard his message. 

* * *

As soon as the play was over, Nezumi tore off his costume,threw off his wig, and hurried out after the rest of the cast to meet the audience.

He walked into the reception hall to a round of applause. An entire, enormous hall of people staring at _him_ , cheering for _him_ in reverence. Momentarily basking in his moment of glory, Nezumi grinned and took a dramatic bow, causing the applause to swell.

“Thank you, thank you!” he called, blowing kisses at the audience. He put on a façade of a kind-and-respectful-actor and shook peoples hands and signed their playbills, took pictures and accepted flowers (and then tossed them on the ground because flowers were too much of a hassle). All the while, despite his static smile, his roving eyes searched the crowd for a young man with white hair.

A forceful poke against his back caused him to whip around.

“Hey now, there’s time for everyone – oh. It’s you.” Nezumi came face to face with a smiling Shion.

“I’m sorry, were you expecting someone else?” Shion asked playfully. His eyes were shining with a bright red glint that had always reminded Nezumi of a homely fireplace, welcoming and safe. It was a sight Nezumi hadn’t seen in a long time, and he was relieved to see it once again. 

Nezumi smirked. “I was. But I’m happy it was you.”

Shion blushed. Nezumi still loved to tease him, knowing he’d always get a reaction from his unfairly adorable boyfriend.

“Here,” Shion said. He shoved a bouquet into Nezumi’s chest. It was different than every other bouquet he’d gotten: [the buds](https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2643/3984349322_5c95996734_z.jpg?zz=1) had bright yellow centers with thin, light purple petals.

“What kind of flowers are these?” Nezumi asked with a raised brow.

“I, uh, they’re asters.” Shion said. “It’s actually, uh, well, in Japanese it’s called ‘shion’, so…they’re kind of my namesake.” Nezumi just stared at the flowers; they were so distinctive from the other flowers – so much brighter. “…do you…like them?”

“I love them,” Nezumi said. “Probably because they remind me of you. They’re unique, and strong, and much prettier than any other flower I’ve received tonight.”

Shion’s blush returned immediately, deeper than ever.

“Oi! Inukashi! I found them!” Rikiga’s gruff voice interrupted their moment as he pushed his way towards them, politely elbowing people out of his way. “Hey lovebirds!”

Suddenly Inukashi butted their way into the group. “I told you to wait for me, moron!” they yelled at Rikiga.

Rikiga shrugged and adjusted his bow tie. It was black today. “You were too slow.”

For a moment, Nezumi was surprised to see them here. He hadn’t known they would show up. But he should have earlier realized Shion had probably rope them into coming.

“What’re you guys doing here?” Nezumi asked.

“I came because Shion offered me a free ticket,” Inukashi said.

“I only wanted to see if Eve was as good as actor as a singer,” Rikiga added, folding his arms.

“…and?”

Rikiga looked reluctant to elaborate. “…you’re not as bad as I thought you’d be.”

“That hurts, old man.”

“Don’t call me old man!”

“Hey,” Inukashi interrupted them. They pointed at Nezumi’s flowers. “What kind of flowers are those? And what happened to the rest of your flowers? Did you toss ‘em?”

This time, Nezumi blushed along with Shion.

Inukashi rolled their eyes. “Forget I even said anything.”

“Hey Eve, I’ve been wondering….how’d you get this job, anyway?” Rikiga asked. “A deadbeat like you…well…it’s surprising.”

Nezumi shrugged. “What can I say? I’m talented.”

Shion elbowed him lightly. “Actually, Safu had an internship at this theatre, and she knows one of the directors of this play. I told her how talented Nezumi was, and she hooked him up with an audition.”

“Ah, _I_ see.” Inukashi nodded. “So you knew someone.”

“Hey, I got this part by my own merit,” Nezumi countered. “The director could have refused me outright and she _didn’t_. She cast me as _Grizabella_ over everyone else who auditioned because of my _skill_ , not my connections.”

“Oh wow, she cast you as the old hag cat, how complimentary.”

Nezumi bristled like, well, a cat. “Excuse me?! Did you even see this play? Because if you did you would understand the importance of Grizabella and her significance as a character amongst the other younger cats – "

“ _Anyway_ ,” Shion interrupted him. “I’m really proud he got this part, and I’m really glad he got to perform in a theatre like this. I mean, it’s not Broadway, but I think it’s a step in the right direction.”

Nezumi turned towards Shion in disbelief.

“A step? Are you joking? It’s a fucking _leap_ in the right direction. This is one of the foremost venues in LA!”

Shion rolled his eyes. “Trust me, I know. I had to listen to you complain about the traffic you had to go through to get to work everyday for the last three months. Getting you out of the house to go to work was a nightmare.”

Nezumi looked at Shion affectionately. “If I was a kinder person, I might thank you for your troubles.”

Shion’s mouth curved into a lopsided smile. “Nezumi, what would you do without me?”

Nezumi clapped his free hand over Shion’s shoulder. “Honestly, you’re my favorite thing to do, so I’d have to think about that…”

Inukashi and Rikiga looked disgusted.

“Gross!”

“Ew!”

“Keep your displays of affection _within_ your apartment, you horny teenagers,” Rikiga muttered.

Shion slapped him playfully on the arm. “Not around other people, ‘Zumi.” He pointed to somewhere behind them. “Go on and greet some other people. I think that’s your old boss over there…” Shion shoved Nezumi out of their group in the direction he’d been pointing. Sure enough, Erwin, Levi and Hanji all stood in a corner, looking out of place and strange in their formal wear.

Erwin shook his hand and patted him on the back. The exchange felt eerily fatherly. “It’s good to see you, Nezumi. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“It’s hardly been two months,” Levi said.

“Levi,” Erwin warned. “Anyways, how’re you holding up? After the…incident, that is? That’s not the kind of thing that blows over after a week.”

Nezumi nodded; he had expected a question like that. He turned back to the massive crowd. He could pick out Shion’s laughing face among them. “It’s been rough, especially for Shion. It was…really traumatic for him, to have to face his father again and then with the whole…you know. And I think all the police investigations and shit was hard on him. But he’s been seeing a therapist, and I think it’s helped him a lot.”

“I’m glad to hear you hired a professional to work things out with him,” Levi said. “I was afraid you were his only consultant, and we all know that wouldn’t have ended well.”

“Thanks for your input, Levi. Always appreciated.”

Hanji interjected, “Wasn’t he going to start going to school, though?”

“Yeah. He’s actually taking quite a few classes. I didn’t think he’d be able to handle it all, but he’s held up surprisingly well. I think he likes doing the work. It’s a welcome distraction from the real world for him.”

“So they’re still letting him go to school.”

“You can thank his mother for that. She worked her ass off to ensure he could still attend university while, you know, under suspicion for…you know.”

“Has there been a trial for that?”

“Not yet. But we have a decent lawyer, and he says we have a pretty strong case for self-defense. I just hope it turns out like he says, and we can put all this shit behind us.”

Erwin clapped Nezumi on the back. “I’m sure it will turn out fine.”

“Are you going to come back to _Elyurias_?” Hanji asked. “I’m sure we can draw in loads more people now that you’ve started to make a name for yourself.”

“This show runs for the next two months,” Nezumi said. “And I have a couple of auditions here and there, so unless I bomb all of those, you won’t see me back at your crappy joint any time soon.”

“Told you I’m not the only one who thinks it’s crappy,” Levi mumbled.

“I’m pleased to hear you’ve moved on to bigger things, Nezumi,” Erwin said, pointedly ignoring Levi’s remark.

“Yeah! I bet all those late nights belting songs to a drunken audience really improved your skills as a singer!” Hanji put it.

“Just know that you’re always welcome at _Elyurias_. Don’t be afraid to give us a call.”

“And stop by sometime with your boyfriend!”

“Yeah, he’s much better company that you.”

* * *

It was two in the morning, and pitch black outside. Nezumi sat next to Shion on a public bus headed for their apartment, finally on their way home after the long ordeal of opening night.

Shion rested his head on Nezumi’s shoulder. “Remind me why we took a bus, again?” he asked.

“’Cause I didn’t want to pay for a cab.”

“You’re just lazy.”

“If you wanted to take a cab so badly, you could have gotten one.”

Shion didn’t respond. Instead, he nuzzled closer to Nezumi.

It felt good to take a moment to relax. The past few months had been crazy for them. Dealing with the police, Shion’s school, Nezumi’s rehearsals and their budding relationship became a masterful juggling act. On top of that, Shion’s nightmares had come back at full strength. Almost every night during that first month after the 'incident' had been a sleepless one. Either Nezumi was awakened by Shion’s screams, or, when Nezumi insisted they sleep in the same bed, by his thrashing and kicking. Convincing Shion to attend therapy sessions had been another nightmare in itself. But Nezumi saw a lot of improvement of his mental state. Before, Nezumi had felt like managing his life had been like juggling butchers knives, but now, they were just butter knives. The nightmares had become less frequent too, for which Nezumi’s backside was thankful.

Shion’s hand settled into Nezumi’s lap, right next to the bouquet of asters. Nezumi’s hand unconsciously reached out to hold it, stroking his thumb lightly over the back of Shion’s hand. Shion let out a soft sigh.

It was strange to think that they had started out as simple roommates. But Nezumi suspected they’d always been more than that. Nezumi hadn’t realized it at the time, but the moment Shion asked to sit next to him on that bus ride during their last year of middle school, everything changed. An undeniable, unbreakable connection had been formed between them, as tangible as the earphones through which they’d listened to _The Sound of Music_ together. The connection was still there all those years later when Shion had made that fateful phone call, and it strengthened when they began to live together. They may have started out as roommates, but the were destined to be lovers.

Nezumi remembered walking off a bus with Shion before, upset to head in opposite directions. That time, he’d parted ways with Shion and hadn’t seen him again for four years. Now, they would leave together and wake up to each other’s faces in the morning.

The bus came to a smooth halt. Nezumi shook Shion awake. He yawned and didn’t make much effort to move, so Nezumi took his hand and led him out of the bus onto the dark, quiet street. He opened up the door to their apartment and pulled Shion up the stairs. Too tired to do anything else, he immediately flopped onto his bed, dragging Shion down with him. He pulled Shion against his chest and wrapped him in his arms as if to protect him from the world around them.

Nezumi was already beginning to doze off when he heard Shion whisper faintly. “Good night ‘Zumi.”

Nezumi squeezed Shion in response. “’Night.”

“Nezumi?”

“Hm?”

“I love you.”

Outside, the wind whistled past the screen window. A dog barked. Cars roared down their street. But all Nezumi could hear were those three words.

_I love you._

It hit him like a stroke of lightning. Water filled his vision. “I love you, too,” Nezumi whispered back, letting a single tear roll down his cheek into Shion's white hair. He never thought he’d say those words again, at least never honestly. But he knew, as soon as the words left his lips, that it was absolutely, inarguable true. “Shion, I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * [This is the scene the Nezumi performed if you would like some context](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9LSyw6ZhTA)  
> *Don’t tell me Nezumi wouldn’t play Grizabella’s role he can play fucking _any_ role FIGHT ME  
>  *I don't know anything about the Pantages Theatre I just though it looked prestigious from my tiny bit of research  
> *I know like .02% of legal matters so I apologize if there’s any inaccuracy in that matter  
> *[This is what shion/aster looks like](https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2643/3984349322_5c95996734_z.jpg?zz=1) (let's hope I got that whole thing right because I'm just trusting google with that...)
> 
> Wow. It’s over. It’s really over. I can’t believe it. The word file I have for this AU was made on OCTOBER 1 2014. THAT WAS ALMOST A YEAR AGO. And I’ve been working on Roommates since January, and now…it’s over. We’ve reached the end after 72868 words. I hope it was a satisfying ending...
> 
> (I say end, but...I'm probably going to go back through and reread this and make minor edits...and I may write some side stories later on, so you can subscribe to the [Bus Ride series](https://archiveofourown.org/series/194678) if you would like to be notified of that)
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who has read this and supported me with kudos or comments, _especially_ those of you who regularly comment (you know who you are, I hope). There is no way in hell I would have been able to write this, much less finish this, without your amazing support. *climbs out of your computer screen to give you a hug because you guys are beautiful people who deserve all the good things*
> 
> Reminder that if you have questions/comments about this fic or No. 6 or literally anything else my [tumblr ask box](http://satyrsyd37.tumblr.com/ask) is open!
> 
> *takes a final, tearful bow*


End file.
